Film Reviews by Abann

Appalling "acting" (I use the word in its loosest possible sense), overbearing soundtrack, disjointed nonsensical scenes, very little plot and possibly the worst portrayal of Amish life I've ever seen. At least I think they're supposed to be Amish.

Go and watch some paint dry, it will be time better spent.

I've seen some slow, ponderous films in my time, but this one makes watching paint dry seem like a ride in a fighter jet by comparison. By the time something actually happened I was too bored to care anymore.

If you suffer from insomnia, give it a go. I guarantee you'll have the best sleep you've ever had.

Play this film on 8x fast forward and it's almost watchable. Of its 98 minute running time, 95 of them are spent watching traffic, pedestrians passing by and the deadpan looks on the actors faces. While I'm sure it was intended to be deep and thought provoking, the crippled slug's pace will ensure that no one remains awake long to discover what the point is, if in fact it actually has one. Save yourself the trouble - go watch grass grow for 98 minutes and consider yourself lucky you didn't waste your time on this excruciatingly ponderous film.