Rent The Expendables (2010)

How can an action film send you to sleep? - The Expendables review by CP Customer

Ok, I wasn't expecting much, but this has to be one of the worst films I have ever seen. It's boring, wooden, predictable, and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Quite frankly, the biggest waist of 103 minutes. Don't bother with it.

Rubbish with a capital R - The Expendables review by DB

A seriously bad film with Sylvester Stallone et al. pulling off the usual he-man pointless stunts and trying to outdo each other in the wake of a flimsy plot where they get to kill people. God have we not seen it all before a thousand times and it was pointless even then. What is even worse is that they have made sequels to this when it should have been annihalated at the script stage. You would be better off playing with a bunch of toy soldiers than watching this movie.

A good introduction to the Expendables series, despite a heaviness of tone & questionable choices - The Expendables review by TB

In many ways, it's surprising that it took until 2010 for a concept like The Expendables to be realised by Hollywood, given their huge appetite for those types of big budget action fests. The basic premise of the Expendables is, to quote one reviewer, "To point a grenade launcher at the action section of your local Blockbusters;" e.g to get as many action stars from particularly the 80's/90's into one film, give them a thinly plotted mission to rescue or take out a target, as many guns as they can carry then throw it onto the screen. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that concept, indeed when it's done well, you'll struggle to have more fun in a cinema. However, the biggest issue faced with this film is the tone.

The Expendables are an elite mercenary team who specialise in carrying out impossible missions where the risk of death is high and disownment guaranteed: if they get caught, there's no-one coming to rescue them. Led by Barney Ross(Stallone,) they are then hired by a shady individual called Mr Church to topple the Latin American dictator of a country where it is revealed that it is in fact in the control of a corrupt ex-CIA operative (Eric Roberts, the go-to actor for bad guys who fortunately had a gap in his schedule between back-to-back shoots of barrel-scrapingly bad straight-to-DVD trash,) on an island full of military with enough weaponry to send the Statue of Liberty into orbit. Things are further complicated by the fact that the dictator's daughter becomes a love interest of Ross's, as well as conveniently being against everything her father is.

There are many good moments in this film including, welcomingly, the first time that Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger are on screen together, although we sadly have to wait until the sequel to actually see them all together in an action scene. As actors, they have known each other for decades, through friendship & rivalries, so the scene of them all together is great fun, with good chemistry. This film is also chock-full of one-liners (including one of my all-time favourites said by Stallone to Stone Cold) & unbelievably cheesy situations, which the film unashamedly hams up and is all the better for it. Add into that some decent action & a sizeable budget and it should be a winner.

However, this film does have what for me is actually quite a significant failure which affects pretty much all of it: it's tone. With action films, especially ones in this genre/style, whilst they can absolutely deal with heavy subjects, they also have to have a lightness of touch/a streak of silliness in them so that it doesn't descend into a weighty, turgid & lumpy mess. And whilst this film is in no way as bad as Night Hunter, it still has missing a huge amount of fun. It is at times unbelievably heavy-going, with lengthy scenes of exposition for pretty much no reason. Stallone, you aren't making Citizen Kane, you are directing a film in which at one point a bad guy gets doused in petrol & set on fire, then somehow manages to KEEP fighting...

However, if you keep your tongue in cheek & sit through the various heavy moments, there is much to like & laugh about. And the sequel is absolutely 1st class, so please don't be put off renting it after watching this.