Tower of London The Goodies' first assignment is to find out who is stealing the Beefeaters' beef - and more importantly, why? To steal the crown jewels is the answer, but when the Goodies set a trap, the burglar turns out to be the last person they'd sus¬pect.
Gender Education Mrs. Desiree Carthorse asks the Goodies to produce a "Gender Education Film", but dismisses it as too rude with¬out even watching it (her usual practice). Bill rebels against the sheer niceness of it all and begins producing video nasties for the BBC - until he blows up the BBC Television Centre.
Kung Fu Kapers Bill reveals he is a master of the ancient Lancashire martial art of Ecky-Thump. The effectiveness of Ecky-Thump leads to a craze sweeping the nation, which Bill intends to exploit by taking over "t'Parliament". The only way to stop him is by adding a remote control to his secret weapon - black puddings.
Lighthouse Keeping Loonies The Goodies are employed for a little light housekeeping and are subsequently stranded in a lighthouse. When they run out of oil for the lamp they dig for some - and send the lighthouse into orbit.
Kitten Kong Montreux 72 Special The Goodies are running a veterinary clinic, and Graeme develops a super pet food to boost the animals' health -and the size of a hitherto harmless fluffy little kitten.
The Goodies and the Beanstalk Cricklewood, 1973: Poverty stricken, the Goodies sell their trandem for a tin of beans - which, when planted, grows into a giant beanstalk leading up Mt Everest to the giants castle where golden eggs are laid. But before the Goodies can become rich, they must battle with the Giant.
Earthahasia To solve the world's problems, it is agreed to blow it up at midnight on Christmas Eve. The Goodies spend their last minutes trying to come to terms with their inner feelings, skateboards, Jane Fonda and childhood regression.
Saturday Night Crease Tim is locked up after touching a woman at a disco, against the no mixed dancing rules. Bill's Disco Bilius (so exclusive that there are no patrons) runs a mixed dancing competition so that, as there will be no competitors, the prize money put up by the BBC will default to Bill. But the BBC is hanging onto its money, so Tim is bailed out to win the prize for him.