Film Reviews by TE

Welcome to TE's film reviews page. TE has written 12 reviews and rated 57 films.

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Aquaman

A proper floater

(Edit) 19/05/2019

I wasn't expecting much from DC's attempt to cash in on the MCU bandwagon, but this was a wide miss by even that measure. A thread bare plot plastered with colourful CGI is not the way to go. Listening to the explanation of why there's a bridge into Atlantis captures the intelligent story telling vacuum peddled to the audience. MCU has done stories of this nature before and they did it better (even the latest efforts have), in this age where people are getting jaded of super hero films this stunk like last weeks fish. In one way they did achieve MCU equivalence. The one liners reminded me of GotG2, lacking in wit and humour. DC, stick to Batman.

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Zatoichi

Humm, I'll give it three stars

(Edit) 13/05/2019

I'd say it was a watchable outing but it's hardly ground breaking in what happens and not much in the way of a twisty plot either. This is no Harakiri (which is a large measure better).

I hadn't realized that Zatoichi (the character) had a much longer history than this single film which might explain why there's not much in the way of a backstory. Near enough the people turn up and chop each other to bits. These effects are gory enough, though as they are drawn directly onto the frames they are wobbly and are much more comical than special.

Still, it's watchable and a better than sitting through Venom.

Not sure what was going through anyone's mind that there needed to be a dance act at the end though ....

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First Man

Really not very good. Seriously.

(Edit) 28/04/2019

I was surprised when I checked the DVD sleeve that this film was only two hours long as I was sure at least 3 had passed since I hit play on this biopic outing.

Mr. Armstrong comes off as a very uninspiring character who, apart from the odd misty eyed reminisce, has the emotional range of a cardboard box. I can't really work out where this characterisation came from, nor the apparent unpleasant nature Buzz Aldrin was painted with. If these were the real men I'm surprised one of them didn't get left on the Luna surface by the other.

Just about everyone else are anonymous faces filling in the background as the story shuffles on. The odd name gets thrown out that you might recognise, presumably to make you aware there were other people out there, but I'd have a hard time remembering which actor was which Astronaut even though I've just sat through yesterday.

I guess it's a tall order to fit this mans achievements into a film of this length but in the end no one area is dealt with in any depth and satisfaction. By the looks of it Mrs. Armstrong was annoyed for most of their married life and the trip the Moon was composed of taking off, landing on the surface and some staring into the void whilst there (which took 15 minutes or so).

I'm still non the wiser to who the man was, if that's your purpose behind thinking of watching this I'd move on.

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The Predator

Yes, it is as bad as people make out

(Edit) 08/04/2019

The stinkiness of this film puts even the lamentable Venom to shame and I wasn't expecting much even before I put the DVD on. I can't quite fathom were the $90 million budget went as it wasn't spent on the script or the acting prowess of the cast. Both are about as shallow as you can get.

Most bizarre moment (and this gives nothing away) : Finding half dozen Harley's in a top secret military base.

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Black Panther

Very average, no more, no less.

(Edit) 25/02/2019

Don't fall for the "Emperors New Clothes" factor attached to this film. You don't have to think it's wonderful because of the race dimension and be castigated because you think otherwise. There's nothing impressive about this film at all.

It's a nice bit of cinematography and the cast play their roles - I don't regret watching it as such but I wouldn't do so again - but there's nothing original here, Thor in Africa just about sums it up.

Having just sat through Ant Man 2 and Venom there are worse MCU films out there (more it seems as time goes on).

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Venom

Just not very good

(Edit) 24/02/2019

I'll give it a star for the odd funny quip and Tom Hardy trying his best but otherwise a poor outing of a film. Short but even then the "plot" doesn't stretch out to fill the 90 minutes, not that even that makes much sense. The planky-ness of the support is something to behold though, no one seemed overly enthusiastic about anything.

A definite lemon from the MCU, I'm starting to wonder if the Studios Golden Age has run its course as these are getting more common (though this does push Ant Man 2 off the bottom of my MCU list of poor films). How did we get from Iron Man, Capt 'Merica and Infinity Wars to this?

And the hints of a Venom 2? Please, no.

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A Quiet Place

Grrrr

(Edit) 24/02/2019

If you like to spend your time shouting at the screen at the utter nonsense you are seeing, this is for you.

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Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Seen One, Seen them All

(Edit) 14/02/2019

Shame on me for expecting something different.

Shame on the the Jurassic World franchise to serving up the same stuff time after time.

Time for JW to go extinct please. Lets hope there's no modern day Mr. Attenborough to resurrect it.

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Solo: A Star Wars Story

Average at best

(Edit) 27/11/2018

I'd half a thought this film would be about fleshing out the character that is Han Solo, but in reality it's a generic sci fi outing that has someone called Solo in it.

It's not terrible, but you'd not want to watch it again. Much better than the Last Jedi though, so there is that.

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Downsizing

Weak Sauce

(Edit) 06/11/2018

A film that can't really decide what it wants to be and ends up just not being very good at anything. Titled as a comedy there's a handful of moments that could make you smile (I'm being generous with a handful and it that even a smile was raised). At the start there is an interesting angle on the impact of the population being shrunk on the rest of the normal sized world I thought might go somewhere but that trails off into a bit of environmentalism, how money makes you bad and other cliches.

I know it's not real, but the entire physics of being 5 inches tall in a world of normal sized people grates a bit as well.

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi

The Defenestration of Star Wars

(Edit) 16/07/2018

You thought Episodes 1-3 weren't very good? Ha, think again. They were master pieces of story telling and cinema compared (so I am starting to believe) to where the latest trilogy are heading.

It's hard not to throw out spoilers to point out the silliness SW has become but some much what the plot and characters could have become from (the not good but not bad either) Eps 7 has been tossed out the window without a second thought, to be replaced by a thin gruel of, well, twaddle.

Or perhaps it was to give the story twists and turns? keep audiences on the edge of their seats maybe?? eh?

Well, it can twist as twisty as it wants - this film is rubbish.

At least we didn't have to fork out for a trip to the cinema, so that gets it one star.

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Doctor Strange

Average at best

(Edit) 13/06/2018

Just when you thought the MCU was full of winners, this film shows that isn't the case.

Apart from Benedict C's dodgy accent and some equally odd castings (Tilda as The Ancient One is one I still can't fathom) it's an average outing of cliches and non-shocking shocks that quickly fades from memory.

There's some danger of a Dr. S Part II, so this might not actually turn out the worst of bunch. So that's a plus.

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