Film Reviews by HM

A small community off the coast of 1920s Ireland. Two men who appear to be crofters of some sort although no sign of how they make a living arises, fall out. Brendon Gleeson decides never to talk to his friend Colin Farrell without any hint of why and we don't find out either. Farrell insists in talking to him so Gleeson threatens to mutilate himself if he does. Gloomy and dark the two spar for the films duration. The whole thing doesn't make sense unless the Gleeson character is supposed to have gone mad. Attempts at humour don't really work, apart from a donkey running joke.

Pretentious or just badly conceived? Search me. Boring and unrewarding. You have been warned.

A twist on flying saucers. That is the only interesting thing about this overlong (well, it felt like it!) movie. A horse rancher who provides performing neddies to Hollywood movie makers investigates ariel phenomenon over his ranch. People dissapear but a lack of suspense lets the whole plot down.

A Finnish (bi-sexual) girl meets a drunken Russian on a train. How any female could develop a relationship with this idiot I don't know. I found myself winding the movie on to avoid anymore poinless mundane conversation between them. He comes across as a drunken Norman Wisdom 'the Gimp' but without being funny! A dull story and not well paced at all. Will you stay awake? Probably not.

Good action scenes and back story but it limps along with irrelevent personality portraits and is too long. A 30 minute cut may have kept the momentum going. It ends abruptly without a clean tidy up of the 'true story'.

Never heard of this band, so it was an education of sorts. Not into heavy metal? It probably won't matter as it is a documentory about personalities really. The music isn't up to much, however, the band were an art school creation wanting to be as garish and shocking as posibble and they succeded on that front! The look they have has clearly influenced other bands to dress up (Slipknot and Lordy spring ot mind). So, an interesting doc and worth a look.

A twisting plot intrigues and Cage's charisma helps lift it a notch higher than it may have deserved. It certainly kept me wondering what was coming next as we learn more about each character. A decent action/mystery thriller and entertaining if you don't take it too seriously. Good fun all round.

Well two rancher brothers with completlely different personalities co-exist on a Montana ranch circa 1909. Cumberbach plays an aggressive character, a real man's man; bullying, feared by his ranch hands and an all round obnoxious bore. His brother's son is a poetic, efeminate, flower cuddler and obvious gay. The movie drags on for an hour without progress. This inhibits enjoyment and entertainment value somewhat. Is Cumberbach over compensating for a hidden homosexuality as he joins in humiliating the lad? This is where the movie opens up so that the second half intrigues.

Once rescued, the story comes into its own and engages the viewer (if you are still watching). A more engaging script with perhaps red herring events may have helped and disguised the direction of travel to keep you guessing. So not a skillful bit of story telling really. Performances are strong howver.

If you like stop go movies this may interest you, but as with CGI the medium can obscure everything else. I never really understood what the heck was going on other than lots of bangs and violence between creatures of no character or interest. No dialogue, sense of story line, narrative etc. Not a movie I can recommend. Cetainly not for kids due to sadistic scenes.

A journey into the American porn industry where the men running the show are caring about their female stars and 'look after them'. However, the extreme sexual requirements are in themselves brutalising. All rather like being a nice slave owner; the business itself doesn't really allow it by its very nature.

We follow a young Swedish girl determined to be the next great porn star. In the end she realises you must settle into the business as you must warts and all or quit. What will her choice be?

Not a comfortable watch by any means and certainly not very sexy. It only looks sexy this side of the camera. A good drama and an education too, although possibly confirming your own fears about the industry.

No idea what this film is saying to us. Some kind of anti-men thing. A load of nonsense. Porno horros at the end for no apparent reason.

A series of Steven King short stories connected by a cat skipping from one owner to another. It feels like these stories were ideas that wouldn't fill a book so they got slapped together. Silly stories and mildly amusing. Horror fans won't be entertained, but a few thrills along the way. A couple of the stories are ridiculous so lack credability.

Great performances all round, especially from the youngsters. An African juvenile is coerced into a rebel army fighting the Government forces and other rebels. The film explores his corruption into violence as a 'boy soldier' and the motives of the commanders of the rebel army.

It begins by showing the carefree lives of kids and then the destruction of innocent villagers caught in the crossfire of military events. A hard watch sometimes as the rebel boy soldiers behave in an aggressive way towards other innocents, the message being; the corrupted corrupt and the de-humanising spreads like a virus.

We have all heard of these African wars, rebel armies, boy soldiers etc but this gets into the body of the dog and paints a gloomy picture of life under conflict conditions. A must watch to understand this all too repetitive situation so many people find themselves in.

I cannot imagine what people see in this out of date film. The original was bad enough (I got through 30 minutes before giving up) but this strung out version is only part 1! The book was published in 1965 so the themes and feel of it may have been original at the time (Star Wars writers may have been influenced) but SF stories and movies have covered this sort of territory many times since. Great Cgi effects (2 a penny nowadays) Atmos sound fantastic, but at the end of the day the story is lame.

SF geeks like the creation of future scenarios in novels, but in a movie it is just another deforested landscape with baddies and goodies. How does the wealth of the 'empire' manifest itself? So tribes fight over the rights to spices to sell throughout the Universe; so what? Who cares? What are the moral imperatives? Do we care who wins? I don't.

In the end we are expected to sympathise with the hero, a teenage boy Starbuck character with 'powers' prompting comparisons with the 'force' in SW.

A big yawn frankly. Lots of fight scenes, spaceships flying about, sorry but I expect more than special effects these days I have overdosed on them.

Well apparently Skakie had nothing better to do than cope with his femenist female empowerment daugther; a likely story eh? Ben Elton wrote the story so you needn't be suprised. And Judie Dench is his 'wife older than him', you are not kidding she is positively geriatric. Unconvinsing relationship.

So what is it all about? Well, we don't know much about him after retirement so why not make up some daft tale using his name to keep the English actors guild busy (Branagh an honury Englishman). His biographers refer to him 'likely' to have done this and that and managed his financial affairs etc. This story ignores his actual preoccupations as they are dull, and there is no reference to his collaberations with budding playwrites.

No idea why anybody should be interested in this waffle frankly. A sort of soap opera version which could run for a series 'the family squabbles of Skhakepeare' perhaps.

A tremendous tale and a movie to complement it. A young man from the other side of the tracks meets a well to do lady, daughter of an upper middle class Italian family. She encourages him to eductate himself and lift his social status; easier said than done. Who says only GB had or has a class system?

Complications between his lady's family and his socialist friends and leanings make for further dificulties as he tries to become an author and find success. Questions: will he make it? Will her family ever except him? And if success is achieved can he surmount the class barrier and does he even want to?

An analysis of social behaviours, status, motivations and character make for an intriguing and serious watch. I found it absorbing and very real.