Film Reviews by porky

Welcome to porky film reviews page. porky has written 198 reviews and rated 199 films.

Clocks ? Who cares .

Slightly annoying and Twee Family Movie about Witches and Wizards and Warlocks and magic and the end of the World....Wait didnt we already see that all happen in Harry Potter ?

yep, a Budget Harry Potter like Movie but with the annoying Jack Black in .

Goofy Comedy ? hmm....well the Jack Black bits are .

The rest is held together by the wonderful Cate Blanchett who is undeniably the hero of the hour here .

It comes across as an episode of Lemony Snicket so if you liked that you will probably Love this , I didn't so I actually Hated it but can see that many will Love it .

Entertaining enough Family Magic. but soo sweet it made me want to puke .

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Samaritas are Creepy

Possible SPOILERS.....Not a Bad Movie but it is hard to take David serious as a Baddie ,especially when he is putting on such a Bad American Accent. Why couldn't he just have his own voice ?

Creepy ,but we don't get to see much of what is going down until it has already happened so it looses out on the intensity of any Dark Crime taking place to Frame our Hero..

Bit slow in opening up about this character and his Years of Serial Kidnap and Murder. we don't actually find that out till almost the very end.

Watchable but doubtful I will see it a second time. That Accent was just too annoying .

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Get the Bug Spray !

I like Marvel Movies, Ant Man has been very entertainingly Funny . Wasp is Good ,Stylishly Physical and Agile like the Black Widow in Avengers Movies.Together they make an interesting Duo but sadly the Bad Guys they are set against are always a bit Low Key and not in any way in need of 'Superhero' input.

Its entertaining enough but not worth a second watch as far as I can see. Nothing much going on to make it worthy of watching .

Story is a bit dull. Bad Guys are a bit Stupid and the Ghost cant even control her own power ,she just needs medical aid.

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Good times....and Bad

A Stomping Good Adventure .

It is hard to see where it is all going at first but it gets twisted and complicated and ultimately very enjoyable .

Crime of many kinds all lead to the El Royale Motel .Robbery ,Kidnapping,Cult Murder,Drugs,Gambling,Blackmail,Porn,Politics and Soul.

A Great Cast and Unusual Characters make for an Interesting and Thrilling Caper .

Worth more than a second Watch. and some Great Music .

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Venom ? hmm.....

I like Tom Hardy ,Ive worked with him n Movies and he is a Nice Guy but in my opinion he isn't a good actor ,especially when made to pretend to be American . Why do they always do it, Cast a Brit then pretend they are American ? it is just a bit embarrassing as the accent changes all through the movie .

Venom is a pretty Dull Character . it can pretty much Do Anything ,fix anyone and Not Die so there is not a lot to fear ,nothing gets in its way and therefore it becomes tedious to watch because there is little to get excited about .

All the action is CGI which for me also made it unwatchable .

anything that can be made by Computer Generated Cartoon is just not Exciting or Clever so therefore looses my interest because once again Anything is possible so the Fear factor and excitement about how it will end is negated . . kind of Who Cares .

filled an afternoon lazily but was mostly dull. repetitive and corny.

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Looking for Scares ...there were NUN

Very basic and uninteresting Ghost Movie.

The Conjuring set this up to be Super Scary and Creepy with the appearance of the painting of the Nun and how it Badly effected the Main Character and Ghost Hunter in the first 2 Movies ,but in reality it is the run of the mill Convent Ghost story.Nothing special and certainly not the Horror Movie of the year .

The Horrifying Nun was Sadly Underused with a Tired story about Gateways to Hell etc...yadda Yadda yadda ....heard it all before .

Entertaining but unlike the rest of the Conjuring movies, I wouldn't watch it a second time, just not interesting enough .

Interesting only for the Beginning and Ending Tie in sequences taken from the original Movie to link them together .

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Predator evolved..

Not the Worst Predator Movie , Predator 2 was really terrible , This one isn't nearly as Bad as that .

Entertaining enough ,but Not the best Sci-fi Movie of the year .not even close.

Pretty Low Rent Action Movie that happens to have the Predator in.

An Enjoyable Evenings Watch, just don't expect anything Great as it doesn't really stand up to 'Alien vs Predator' or 'Predators' etc...

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Hotel Artemis is a place to stay

I enjoyed this , Looked Good, Unusual Story Line, Interesting Characters, Bit of Action .

Sadly it all felt a bit Rushed through . would have been better if it had lasted a bit longer and filled out some of the time better .

Jodie Foster was rushing from Room to Room dealing with her 'Guests' and I felt pretty Rushed through the movie too.

I would certainly be happy to watch it again. Not the Greatest Movie of the Year but by no means the worst and Entertaining too.

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Breaking In.

Very Entertaining Movie. kind of almost a remake of that Jodie Foster Movie Panic Room.

Strangely for someone soo obsessed with Security ,Home invasion and Protection that every inch of the house is on Camera ,with Bullet Proof Windows and Shutters ,and a Security Headquaters with screens to see everything and turn On /shut things down etc....This Home didn't actually have a Panic Room or any Weapons/Firearms to protect the Incredibly Wealthy Home owner for that matter (Massive Plot Hole) making it all a little hard to swallow .

Other than that it is a good,exciting watch and has a great Heroine ,even if her Husband was pathetic and completely unhelpful to the end .at least her Kids tried to be useful.

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Not the Best Muppet Movie.

I Love Muppets , I love All the Movies. But this one seriously Lacked in many ways.

I didn't have a problem with its Adult Content ,I had No Problem with the fact it was aimed at Adult Audiences .

But it Just Tried Too hard to be Rude which just wasn't Funny.

They Labored on the Sex/Rude Content thinking it was being seriously Funny and it was about as funny as your Favorite Uncle telling you about his Anal Beads getting caught in the spin dryer and ripping out his lower intestine.... Slightly Distasteful and not in any way funny.

If they had just made a Comedy that included Muppet Characters and had all the usual Funny stuff a regular Comedy has then it would have been Fine but they didn't .

Enjoyable to a low level. and slightly tedious because it just kept playing the same Joke over and over .

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Dark Web,

Good movie if you can stick with it I had to Stop it and start it again from the beginning on my Laptop because the Much of it is too small to see on the TV screen across the room.

As the story unfolds on a group of friends laptops whilst on Skype and Facebook and via emal the typed words are soo small on screen unless you have a Massive TV .that you just cant read them. must have been fine on a Cinema Screen but my TV is an Average 60 inch screen and I couldn't see the typed messages clearly enough without moving closer to the screen ,so my Laptop in my lap made it more watchable .

I would say Don't Bother if your distance eyesight is poor or your TV isn't Massive . just too much small print to read all through the movie to cope with ,and without it you cant follow the story at all.

Once you are able to manage that ,I did thanks to my laptop.It is a pretty good movie ,Creepy and leaves you thinking about what is out there on the internet really .

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First Purge . maybe the Last ...

It is notable that ALL the Purge Movies show Black Characters as the Victims and Upper Middles Class Whites as the Evil side. and in a way that is pretty accurate in life when we are talking Poverty in City Areas and Run Down Buildings . Trump makes this very clear with every word he utters.

Though it is Hard to swallow that the Only Hero they could come up with for this movie, for us to Support against the Evil Tyranny of the Governing Body putting the Purge into Place was a Drug Baron and Gangland Killer .

Not the Best in the Series and possibly the Last as I cant see the Audience staying interested after this one.

Entertaining enough, just a little lacking in any real Hero .

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Night of the Virgin Online DVD Rental

Night of the Virgin. and what a night .... omg !

Freakish ,Darkly Funny and Disturbing, one of the Weirdest Movies I've seen this year . on a par with the likes of 'The Greasy Strangler', 'Bad Boy Bubby' or 'Bag Boy, Lover Boy' It is Sexually Charged and Slightly Disgusting .

A Repulsive Virgin ,desperate to loose his Virginity this night at the strike of the New Years Celebrations gets taken home by a Much Older Woman with plans of her own for the night.

Time is running out, someone needs to get Pregnant asap, Lots of Semen,Blood and Murder .

Crazy Spanish Horror .Subtitled and worth the effort if Shocking Gross-Out is your bag .

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Hereditary ,hmm soo many thngs are ...

SPOILERS ; Enjoyable Horror and more a rehash of Roman Polanski's Classic 'Rosmary's Baby' than anything original.

The Manipulated Family ,the Secret Sect ,Black magic/Devil worship and the Rebirth of one of the Demons of Hell in Human Form.

Dressed up as something very New and Modern in its approach to Horror it is actually nothing more than an old Dennis Wheatley novel made in a modern setting.

Entertaining enough but nothing new to see here.

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Habit Online DVD Rental

Habit wasnt habit forming with me.

Pretty low key movie ,less interesting than it sounds.

Looser guy meets looser girl ,she is connected to Gangland Underground and Prostitution ring ,she gets Looser guy a job for letting her stay at his .

he gets involved too deep .

along the way some Cannibalism happens, for no really good reason.and apparently it is habit forming but actually effects the story soo little it is almost an after thought to make a very dull small town Gangster Movie more interesting.

overall it is an OK movie but do go looking for a Horror or Thriller movie , it is Small Town Gangsters doing illegal stuff in a Brothel mostly .

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