Film Reviews by porky

Welcome to porky's film reviews page. porky has written 274 reviews and rated 271 films.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

The Endless

Endless nonsense .

(Edit) 23/09/2018

By the end I was Glad it was all over . Not that I didn't enjoy it but t did seem to be far longer than it needed to be ,Much of it filling space with Nothing happening at all.

It was OK, not Great just OK. Interesting idea to base it around a Culty Commune but that was really just a Red Herring . Darker Forces are at work here ,Sadly we never really get to see the Real Culprit . Just flashes of its effects on others.

The Movie felt Slow and meandering with little to no story through much of it so by the time we finally do figure out what the Story is you are kind of Bored already and just want it all to finish ASAP.

Worth seeing if only so you never have to watch it again. Its kind of like watching a meandering TV Show ,imagine watching 'Under The Dome' or 'Lost' all in one sitting but with ALL the interesting bits Cut out . that was what it was like .

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Jessabelle

Jessebelle wasnt much to talk about .

(Edit) 23/09/2018

OK , the idea was OK, but the actuality was less than thrilling.

If you have seen 'Skeleton Key' which is a far superior Movie you are Close to what its about .

But unlike 'Skeleton Key' this one has very little substance .

Talk of Voodoo but we dont see any , Apparently in the Bayou but it doesn't feel like it ,Trying to build up 'Rosemarys baby' type intrigues but it never happens .... Its a pretty Hollow experience .

Good idea that was obviously just to far reaching for this Director , No Suspense, No Horror and No Shocks .it was just Lacking in every direction.

Not Rubbish by any means ,but it wasn't Good ,it was just average. OK -ish.

Do watch it ,just don't expect much in the way of Horror .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Pervert!

Russ Meyer Rip Off !

(Edit) 12/09/2018

If you enjoy Russ Meyer Movies you will Totally Get the joke of this and also see it as a very good Copy of his Style .

Basically its a very,very bad Sex Horror Comedy, but any Meyer fans will Love it as an Homage to the Late Great Film Maker.

A Killer is on the Loose,just Who is Killing the Busty Whores paid to keep the Old Man happy in his later years ?

Worth a watch but dont take it too seriously, its based on a Time and Film Style long gone with Overt Sexism,Nudity and Very Bad Slapstick Comedy.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

7 Days

7 Days ? why did he need 7 ?

(Edit) 12/09/2018

Sad to say this Very Promising looking movie really didn't deliver .

It starts off very well,very strong , a chilling Child Death and Rape .

Parents driven to Despair and in Grief look for Revenge .

Gruesome, Painful watching but then it all seems to fizzle out of energy and the ending is a terrible let down .

This could have been a Really Great Movie . it tells a powerful story of a parent torn apart by Grief and Guilt.

Sadly it didn't quite make it to the finishing line .

Definitely worth watching ,but sadly only the once .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

The Ghost of Charnel House

Charnel House

(Edit) 07/09/2018

Entertaining enough but pretty dull and very obvious story. No Scares,no Jumps and No Mystery here .

Its not the Worst movie I've seen, and for a Low budget it did ok, I just wouldn't like to say it was a Good movie either.

If you had picked it up in a bargain bin for a Pound you would be happy enough with your purchase . if you had paid any more you would feel robbed.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

[REC] 4: Apocalypse

Keeping it up .REC 4

(Edit) 07/09/2018

Great movie series... I love the way ,apart from part 3 with has a break away story of a Wedding ,all the others in the series have a running story as if its one long movie. This one does include the Wedding story within its narrative as here ALL survivors from the movies so far are together on a Ship out at sea Quarantined from the worlds public.

As you can guess, all does not go well.

Well worth watching this whole series of movies. none of them disappoints .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

[Rec]

REC an original.

(Edit) 31/08/2018

Very good ,very entertaining Original version of the American remake 'Quarantine'.

Unlike the US remake This one runs straight into 'REC 2' ,from where this one finishes,The American 'Quarantine' took a very different direction ending up on a Plane .

Great use of hand held cameras,one of the Best versions of this genre .

Undead outbreak in an apartment block becomes a Prison and Blood Spattered War Zone.Can anyone survive the night ?

and what is it that has Infected the residents?

Well worth seeing more than once .and try to see REC 2 soon after as they fit end to end perfectly as one long movie.

0 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

[Rec] 2

REC 2 ,return to armageddon.

(Edit) 31/08/2018

This follows on from 'REC 1' straight away .. same building and same outbreak.

More insight into what exactly is going on here and it tells more of the backstory to the Apartment on the top floor where we see it end in the first movie.

Zombies? Demons? who knows ....but in this you find out what caused it all and how they might Stop it .

Very good and well worth seeing follow up to REC. and a very different story to the follow up to the American remake 'Quarantine'

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

The House on Gallows Hill

What goes on at Gallows Hill ,Stays at gallows Hill.

(Edit) 25/08/2018

Interesting Possession Movie.I rather enjoyed it .

Not at all what I had expected ,imagined a very cheap ,badly made scare movie in an old house like soo many other low budget movies,so had low expectations to start with but it was waay better than I thought it would be .

Interesting version of dealing with the possessed and far more original than the usual attempts .

Worth a watch, though once is probably enough ,it wasn't Great ,but it was Good.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Better Watch Out

Better Watch Out ....better take care ...Santa Clause is coming to town...

(Edit) 25/08/2018

I hadnt even taken on board it was a Christmas Movie. but apart from being Set at that time of year it has very little to do with it to be honest.

Decorations and Snow aside its actually a pretty Creepy and Very Good, Thriller /Psycho Kill movie. though Creepy in a very,very different way to the usual .

Without giving too much away its not what you usually expect with a Baby Sitter movie.

Very cleverly twisted and unexpected turn around half way through the film and a Really Great Young Cast .

Dont miss the extra 'Ending' snippet after the Credits start to roll. Well worth a watch ,maybe more than the once .

Could be my New favorite Christmas Movie....'Home Alone' it is not.

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Beyond the Gates

Beyond Boredom

(Edit) 19/08/2018

Oh my goodness ,what an incredibly slow process it was getting to some story .... and then when it did appear it wasn't really worth the wait...It was one of those films where a day is about 5 minutes long and all of a sudden its night time again...so it carries a very small amount of story over days,weeks even ...

Who on Earth plays a board game with 3 people and throws the dice Once then talks about it for the next 24 hours before even approaching the game bard again let alone never throw the dice another time .......

Weak Story, Long wait for anything too happen and when it happens its not worth it.... you decide if that's an evening in front of a screen you want to spend . wasn't totally un-entertaining but boy did you have to wait for it . I was waaaay too frustrated with the movie to enjoy any entertainment it may have given ... maybe I should have walked off and paused it for 24 hours ever 5 mins , it might have made more sense .

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Cop Car

This Copcar is Ours ,This Copcar is Ours !

(Edit) 20/08/2018

Very entertaining Thriller . Bend Sheriff Kevin Bacon leaves his Cop car in the woods whilst disposing of ' dodgy property' when two Runaway Kids come across it with the keys and decide to take it for a Joy Ride .

Problems ,Danger and Death ensues .

True the kids are little bast@rd's and as thick a a tonne of bricks but they don't deserve more than an Ass whoopin' .... Bacon has a lot more in mind .

Great ,entertaining movie. well worth a watch or two.

3 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Tony Manero

Tony Manero

(Edit) 11/08/2018

Rather Depressing ad Sad movie. a looser of a guy thinks he is the Chilean reincarnation of Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever ,but really isn't at all,He is too old, Cant really dance and is just a really really nasty ,sleazy guy ...but he Kills all who stand in his way .

Subtitles , and an ongoing Civil War /Oppression under Dictator Pinochet sees everyone Depressed, Secretive and Frightened of Curfew.

Money is short and Tony Manero must have his Glass Dance Floor that lights from below at all cost . Human lives are cheap in comparison.

Really not much of a Horror or a Thriller . Think 'Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer' crossed with a Social documentary of Oppression and Poverty in Chile in the late 1970's /early 80's and that's the closest I can think to describe it.

From the descriptions I was given it sounded like it would be Dark Humor but it isn't at all funny ,just depressingly ,miserably grim.

Rather wish I hadn't watched it . Not a Bad film so much as a film I needn't have seen .

Didn't really entertain or infact Add anything to my life at all. would have rather used that Hour and a half to do something else .

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

Pacific Rim job

(Edit) 16/08/2018

Entertaining enough , but Boyega is getting on my nerves a bit now, fine in the first Star Wars Movie we see him in, but Now he is just smug, and not even that good and has far too fat an arse for sci fi outfits.

As Producer of this picture he is in every scene loving himself too much. The rest of the cast dont get that much screen time so you dont really care much when they all get killed off or hurt as you have hardly seen them .

To be honest it comes across as a Cheap Transformers Movie rip off than anything else, strangely I didnt think that of the First Pacific Rim movie...but this one feels like that .and they even Look like that . Not the best Sci fi move but watchable and entertaining , but not Great .

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Unspoken

Unspoken , or just unexplainable ?

(Edit) 16/08/2018

Odd movie about a Haunted House that isn't actually Haunted at all .... Very strange punchline at the end with no real explanation.

A bunch of House breakers enter the story ,but really they only serve as Victims so someone in the movie can Die Horribly.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.
1234567891019