Film Reviews by None

A dizzying, endless and unique way all night setbacks. Sex, drugs and drinks alternate between meeting and encounter, creating a continuous openly, in front of a camera as bold as curious , who dares to cross it all.

Any ideas?

This film won't be everyone's cup of tea. It's slow-moving and fundamentally pointless, which is what you'd expect from absurdist cinema. But for all that I was quite enjoying the short, interlinked scenes, the two salesmen slightly reminiscent of Little Britain's Andy and Lou.

But towards the end of the film I was shocked and sickened by a scene quite out of context with the others. This showed a group of British colonial soldiers whipping and herding African tribespeople into a large brass cylinder, then lighting a fire underneath it. Unlike the rest of the film, the dialogue was in English.

Apparently this was a message about a Swedish company that had, apparently, caused the poisoning of hundreds of people in Chile. The message was lost on me and I was disgusted that the Swedish film-makers chose to depict the soldiers as British instead of Swedish. This sort of thing is expected from Hollywood (such as the church-burning in The Patriot) but to see it coming from Sweden - a country with a pretty shameful wartime history in the 20th century - is intolerable.

The first 15 minutes of this film were so awful that I couldn't bring myself to watch any more. It was like one of those trashy American high school movies except set in Australia, a bit like Home And Away on a very bad day.

I'm paying to rent a film, not to watch an advert for a chocolate bar that I can't even fast-forward through. All such films will get a low rating!

I don't have anything good to say about this film so here's the bad news.

There is a vague plot but you'd hardly notice. Some of the action seems totally dissociated from the story.

Also dissociated is the appalling dubbing. People speak without moving their lips, and vice versa. That is, when you can see their lips, as much of the filming seems to be done on a cheap handheld camera with no stability control and no focus. Plus, it's dark.

During transitions from one set to another we are treated to some loud and irrelevant "music" that detracts still further from any enjoyment of the film.

All in all, a waste of 96 minutes.

A master piece of erotic entertainment? The acting was rubbish, the erotic scenes were totally uninspiring and staged. If this represents Krystal's most erotic dreams, I'll stick to good old nightmares.

An orgy of erotic delights? This film is short (less than an hour), and basically consists of three women stroking themselves to some rather boring music. You don't expect a plot, but there is no attempt at any normal conversation. Continuity? The film cuts straight from three women walking down the street, to one (naked) woman writhing around and obviously bored out of her wits.

I rated this 1 only because there is no 0. The BBC Test Card has more erotic content.