Film Reviews by None

Welcome to None's film reviews page. None has written 11 reviews and rated 113 films.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Ahh the 80's

(Edit) 10/05/2011

Well how do you add to a classic from the 80's? You don't is the answer. This film blows. It has such a simple premis and still falls short of the mark.

Oliver Stone put his name to this and I feel sure he is now regretting that as it makes it look like he is trying to just turn a fast buck.

As the studios are not risking any money on anything but remakes and sequels you would think that they would be a little more carefull with the small amount of money they are shelling out (in comparison with previous years).

I have to agree with the cover, Douglas is superb but even he cant save this lemon. LaBeoufs character is thin at best and the acting is in the, as Joey from "Friends" would say, "smell the fart" acting school. Supposedly moody looks and an attitude (probably wrongly aquired from his success in Transformers [a kiddy flick]) do not make up for real acting skill.

Don't waste your life watching this.

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Grown Ups

Blokey

(Edit) 10/05/2011

Usually my wife will just start doing something else in the other room when an Adam Sandler film comes on (except 50 First Dates) but this one she watched enjoyed and laughed through. No higher reccomendation for a "lads film".

10 out of 10.

0 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

District 9

Could do better

(Edit) 02/10/2010

The premise is old and tired. So is this film. It dribbles along until the last half hour then seems to pick up the pace to a slow jog. I was dissapointed with this on so many levels. What a waste of time. It is bigotted and racist in my opinion. Save yourself almost 2hrs of boredom.

1 out of 5 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Inglourious Basterds

Incongruous bilge

(Edit) 16/10/2010

I can see the atraction for Brad to play his role but not Samuel L Jackson. This is the usual "Us Americans saved the world in WWII" crap, until the last few minutes (if you can be bothered to sit through it that long) and then it all goes wrong for them except they have a get out clause at the end where good old Uncle Sam makes @em pay in the end.

Its Resevoir Dogs and Kill Bill meet the Nazis and not in a good way.

Rather lacking from Tarantino. He is one of my favourite directors but this is poor.

2 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Penguins of Madagascar

You cant buy peace and quiet like this!

(Edit) 02/01/2011

I decided to get this film out as a tester to see if my 4 1/2 year old twins would sit still for a shorter length of time than a standard hour to hour and a half childrens animation.

Not only did it keep them gripped it kept me amused aswell. The jokes translate to "old people" like me as well as my kids. They didn't get Madagascar even 6-12 months ago. It was too long for them These 10-15 minute shows are great as they get the titles which tea them up for the start (and they love to dance along with King Julian) and they aren sitting still for too long.

I would recomend this to anyone with kids of any age. If mine sit through it it must be atleast a little entertaining and I laughed as well.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Gilbert Gottfried Live: Dirty Jokes

It does exactly what is says on the tin

(Edit) 25/11/2010

If you are easily offended DO NOT WATCH THIS. It is a stand up routine from the "squinty jewish funny man" seen in films like Beverleyhills cop II. Although in that he was very polite. This is a little near the knuckle for some but if crude is funny to you this is a corcker.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Frost/Nixon

Inspired interpretation

(Edit) 16/10/2010

This is one of the best performances from both Michael Sheen (a virtual Chameleon) and Frank Langella. The way it has been put together, by Ron Howard, is exceptional. The acuracy is excellent and the whole feel of the movie keeps you gripped from start to finish. The way the supporting casts interact is fantastic. Cant recommend this film highly enough.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

2012: Doomsday

2012: Doomsday. A Christian Faith production

(Edit) 02/10/2010

It may seem a little harsh but I have to say this is the worst film I have seen in years. The dialog was flawed and wooden as was the acting. I cant emphasise this enough. There is a reason that there are so few faces that you recognise and even those you look at and think "I know you from something but cant place it". If you want to have a faith movie (under the guise of an action thriller) play out a weak script then this is for you. If you are looking for a little more in your "end of the world" films try The Day After Tomorrow.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Ghost Town

Extended museum curator role

(Edit) 18/05/2010

If you found Ricky Gervais role in night at the museum good you will enjoy this extended version. I hate to say it but he seems very one dimensional. As an actor he makes a great half hour comic. Its not that I dont like him. I went to see him live at the apollo, its just that he doesnt seem capable of transfering his short term hillarious comedy skills to "the big screen". I feel he (along with quite a few others) gets the big roles because they are "famous" not because they can do it.

The story is old and this did nothing to enliven a tired script.

If you like comedy avoid this one.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Day Keanu Stood Still

(Edit) 26/03/2010

Oh Dear, If you liked the long slow pauses (as if thinking hard) in The Matrix this film is for you. It seems that After his first few attempts into SciFi Keanu found a formula that worked for him in Matrix and is sticking to it. I appreciate that he is supposed to be an alien in human form but if all aliens have no emotion then we as a planet, and SciFi enthusiasts, are stuffed.

Dont waste your time. The film is all in the hype.

3 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian

Family viewing

(Edit) 11/03/2010

As a sequel you have to expect a bit of cross referencing from the first so if you haven't seen that dont bother, yet. I thoroughly enjoyed this as I got to sit with my family and laugh at the "grown up" one liners as well as the silly kids ones.

I'd say an all round family fun film.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Help & support

Find answers to frequently asked questions and contact us should you need to

How It Works

See prices and levels and find out how Cinema Paradiso service works

Friends for Films

Invite your friends to join and get free subscription each month