Film Reviews by pw

I should be in the market for this film. I recycle my empty Captain Morgan's bottles and read the Guardian, but oh what a joyless experience watching it is. Reviews said it was a tense eco thriller. Er... hello?

They've planted the bomb.... but wait.... oh no!....someone's coming!... the bombs still ticking!!!!.... oh it's ok they've gone.

An episode of Countryfile has more tension.

We don't even get to see the dam blowing up. You would think they could have stretched to splicing in a bit of old footage from the Dambusters.

And what is going on with Jesse Eisenberg? Did he forget all his lines? Did they not give him a copy of the script? He doesn't say anything!

He's a good actor but he's not one of the greats. He isn't Brando turning up his collar against the wind in On The Waterfront, the cogs turning slowly behind the eyes. He isn't DeNiro in Taxi Driver conveying a world of turmoil with a grimace. He's not even Shatner entertaining us with.... his.... efforts..... to...... re...member....... his... lines..... in early Star Trek.

Jesse needs a bit more to work with than he gets here

This film is 113 minutes long. You won't get this time back. The sun is due to explode in approximately four billion years. Do something more constructive NOW to save the world people!

Go and make some of those recycled newspaper brickettes for your wood burning stove with that contraption you got from Guardian readers offers. Or stick a house brick in the toilet cistern in your en suite bathroom.

Oh but hang on! You read the newspaper online these days and you live in Sheffield and it's just started raining again.

Never mind, "pass t'hummus our lass.... there's a new episode of Wheeler Dealers starting on Quest.

Hugely overrated "existentialist...neo noir." Saw this years ago and couldn't remember being impressed but was fooled (yet again) by a ridiculously high rating on Rotten Tomatoes and so thought I would give it another go on Blu-ray. Shouldn't have bothered.

Who ever thought that Ryan O'Neal could play a badass? He can't. Are we really meant to believe that the nasty hoods in the film are in any way intimidated by his wavy hair and studied attempt to look 'hard'. I'm all for going against type but he just doesn't pull it off.

Bruce Dern plays 'mad' detective but not nearly mad enough. In one scene, he attempts to provoke Ryan O'Neal by throwing a lukewarm cup of coffee on his crotch. O'Neal grimaces at the thought of the dry cleaning bill but just manages to stop himself going loco. Also, check out Bruce's curly perm and deep California tan. Reminded me of Papa Lazarou.

Yawn...had to stop myself fast-forwarding past the car chases and any scene featuring Isabelle Adjani's blank expression but mercifully the whole thing is wrapped up in 89 minutes. However, in that time you could watch two episodes of Cagney and Lacey or one and a half re-runs of Traffic Cops. Go for the Cagney and Lacey!

Enjoyed it but not a repeater. I like Matt Damon but not sure he was entirely convincing as a reformed bad guy. At times he looked like he had just mistakenly wandered (with his usual stiff gait) into the ghetto straight from a fundraising lunch with George Clooney in Beverly Hills.

A very strange turn from Jodie Foster as well. A previous reviewer mentioned she was robotic and I thought she might actually be playing a robot for much of the film. She seemed to be saying her lines through gritted teeth as if someone was pointing a gun at her off-camera (perhaps they were). I think her final words were "no more" and she looked like she meant it.

The gun (and sword) toting baddies introduced some fun (and some ham) but it all ended up a bit predictably.

I thought it was actually well directed by Blomkamp who combines dust and robots well but it wasn't a patch on District 9. Would like to see him direct a Judge Dredd film though. Robots, mutants and Dredd in the Cursed Earth. That would be perfect!