Film Reviews by None

Welcome to None's film reviews page. None has written 2 reviews and rated 2 films.

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The Last Patrol

Tedious Nonsense

(Edit) 14/12/2005

Not sure why I rented this. Must have thought it was some intriguing cult film. Watched it on fast forward x4 and x8 rather than waste any more of my precious time here on Earth. Not to put too fine a point on it, It's a stinker, without character, plot, dialogue or tension. Best watch it on x16, or perhaps backwards, or better still see it with friends, turn the volume down and make up a funny dialogue. Absolute waste of film.

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Barbarian Queen

Barbarian Porn

(Edit) 10/11/2005

Imagine Xena Warriror Princess without the humour, style, character and magic - this is it. Stay away from this puzzling inclusion in the Argentinian World Cinema list. It's vaccuous pulp, badly scripted and humourlessly acted, proving the point that anybody can make any film about anything with anyone if some one, somewhere, for some reason, gives them the money. Not sure what I was expecting, but I didn't get it. Badly disguised soft porn.

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