Film Reviews by PV

Bit of a silly horror, set in Paris Catacombs in 1991 (so those in WWII can still be alive) - where once the bones from the city's cemeteries were stored after Hausman redesigned Paris with boulevards etc.

Cartoon characters; 2-D baddie skinheads. Straight to video stuff as used to be called. Mercifully short.

Reminds me of several other B-movies about bunkers with long lost Nazis.

The BEST of these is the comedy horror SEVERANCE (2006) which may well have influenced this but is WAY better in all ways.

Some other B-movies vaguely in my thoughts. OUTPOST, THE BUNKER, THE TRENCH etc. And the immortal BL:OODSTORM also called Nazis at the Center of the Earth which is bonkers.

This is OK. so-so. Reminded me of another -2 women divers stuck underwater 2017 movie 47 METERS DOWN. There is also a Swedish 2020 film called BREAKING SURFACE.

To be honest, this is all the #metoo effect - to have female leads, and tbh it is getting tiresome.

2 female leads here, sisters. The only man in this film is the father, as expected portrayed as a baddie in some ways - though later a goodies maybe, NO SPOILERS.

It's a film; it's about diving into the sea and getting stuck. Cue loads of female bonding and ramping up the jeopardy.

Passes the time, so 3 stars

I had no idea what to expect of this. I am not a great fan of Nicholas Cage and hate some of the movies he is in. The CP review mentioned The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent - I see I gave that 2 stars and have no memory of the film at all.

This is BRILIANT - I love satire, especially arch and clever satire and this is brilliant as it depicts the cancelling of an everyman little man character through no fault of his own. It calls out cancel culture itself, the way the woke mob can single out a victim and ostracise them, ruin their lives.

here the setting is a magic realist postmodern tricksy one, of the Cage character randomly appearing in many people's dreams - NO reason for it. Not the usual world blackout or magic spell. It just happens. Now USUALLY I would hate that BUT because the script is so well-written and the characters and their reactions so believable, I could suspend disbelief about that magical mystical dream scenario.

I laughed out loud more than once and often had a wry smile on my face, as I nodded in recognition of the way in academia the herd mentality and hive mind of woke enables and empowers cancel culture, singles out a victim who is then targeted so all the attackers in the mob can feel better about themselves and landgrab the moral high ground. It is the WITCH HUNT of now. And it happens. A LOT. I have seen it with my own eyes.

This film wonderfully echoes that singling out of the victim in the fact the main character is an evolutionary biologist, educating students about zebras (stripes to heklp victims not to be singled out by predators) and ants (hive mind, or ANTELLIGENCE - his own theory). Plagiarism happens a LOT at universities too and in the media.

The marketing agency made me laugh too, like PERFECT CURVE in the TV comedy W1A. Just as odious and awful.

AND great, this is bang on 90 minutes - not overlong, no flab, well directed and edited. i could watch it again now/.

5 stars, with bells on!

This is a brilliant film which the BBC Radio Times reviewer inexplicably gives 3 stars out of 5 - amazing considering the woke tickbox dross they award 5 stars to.

A fascinating and true story, really tense, believable characters - Nazis too who are not cartoon cutouts.

Great acting too from the 2 fine main actors. Lars Eidinger as the Nazi student stars in lots of German films and some English.

No hesitation in awarding it 5 stars.

OK so this film is a little long and meandering, lacks focus at times. However, I can forgive it that as the story it is telling is true and messy and spans several months and years.

It tells the little-known story of Dutch Jews deported to camps. There are still Jewish communities in Amsterdam and other cities however.

The main character is a German Jew who escaped Germany for Holland only for the Germans to invade there on 10 May 1940 to be precise, and Belgium too. Anne Frank';s family were the same - Germans who escaped to Amsterdam, as people did not realise or expect Germany to invade.

Anyway, it s a fascinating if depressing tale. Other camp films such as RESISTANCE, SON OF SAUL, WALKING WITH THE ENEMY - there are so many great Second World War films, from many European countries too. Many countries in WWII had to supply the Nazi machine with slave labour, and Jewish deportations, and local Jewish leaders assisted with this - in a place such as Hungary, very late, in 1944. There is a great film about that whose name I forget.

Perhaps it is a tad too harsh on the Dutch locals. What would you do if a huge monstrous Nazi empire invaded your little country? Remember that the Dutch supported the Allies and went on strike (trains etc) to support the Allies landing on D-Day June 6 1944, and as punishment, Germany cut off food supplies which caused the Dutch famine of 1944-5 in which 20,000 died of starvation. The Dutch call it The Hunger Winter - it affected northern Dutch regions including Amsterdam. 4.5 million people affected.

So 3.5 stars rounded up

This made me laugh - especially the in-jokes about differences between Brits and Americans. There is a superb sequence featuring the House of Lords and the US Congress which shows how Brits can laugh as ourselves and our country.

Some 1935 special effects complete with toy model ships and all shot in the UK.

But fun, and a comedy that made me laugh - unlike most TV and movie comedies now.

4 stars.

I often had no idea what was going on in this BFI/lottery-funded film with a Spanish director - and often was past caring.

I think it seriously needed editing and development at the script stage - someone needed to manage that, as this is a vanity piece using public money (some, at least) and it is just not coherent. Maybe it is supposed to be several stories in one which link up, like those old portmanteau films, Hammer Horror did loads.

Do yourself a favour and watch one of them instead. Or the class DEAD OF NIGHT.

Or if you want this sort of post-apocalyptic shtick, maybe Waterworld, or Blade Runner or The Terminator movies.

Not this, It is dire. Boring and confusing. 1 star

This started well, but I hated this film - I did not believe the story or the characters, as if they were cardboard cut-outs plonked into the scenario created by the writer/director to make some points about race and social class.

It was, in a word, boring. And annoying. When the backstories kick in the movie loses all momentum and becomes al about woke virtue-signalling and box-ticking. It'd be less boring to watch grass grow, frankly.

The great-niece character looks remarkably pretty for a drug addict raised in poverty too, so that is all absurd.

AND this has perhaps the worst sex scene it has ever been my displeasure to see - it is not explicit. It is just absurd and SO badly-written I burst out laughing as my eyes rolled like pinballs. Just goes to show that even experienced directors can get it all SO wrong. It would have been 2 stars without that scene.

Also, knowing something about gardens I can say the assertion formal geometric gardens are FRENCH and wild landscaped gardens are ENGLISH is piffle. The Tudors etc loved geometric gardens which had control over Nature - read Shakespeare, as the garden metaphor is everpresent. The age of the Romantics in the 18th century meant the aristocracy grew to like natural settings, however fake and designed, with fake follies and even paid hermits on their land. All a romantic fantasy of the upper classes, like Marie Antoinette cosplaying a shepheress. NOTHING to do with nationality..

1 star

I had somehow missed this 2008 film which is a coproduction between Israel, Germany and the USA and filmed in Israel and Romania (hence the many surnames of crew & actors ending in 'u').

One big criticism - NO SUBTITLES OPTION. I often use them for English language films too, seeing as so many movies and TV dramas these days suffer from a bad dose of mumble-itis. But hey, I got most of it (I sometimes had to rewind).

Based on a novel, this is a quirky fantasy film. Watch the 25 minute MAKING OF doc on the DVD - it is worth it. There was no such institution in Israel in the 1950s and 60s - not until 1980s did anything like this exist.

I suppose this fits in with many fictional and supposedly factual takes of 'wild children' which date back many centuries.

Also a Holocaust film, with the Jeff Goldblum main character shown in Germany in the 20s and 30s - I always wanted to know more, but I suppose I'll have to read the novel to get that. So that pre-war and flashback to the camp is one part of the film; life in the psychiatric institution is the half that completes it.

This is a 2008 movie; I do wonder with today's hyper-sensitive sensibilities post-#metoo etc whether such a film could be made today. Everything is so po-faced and puritan now, and even if allowed needs multiple trigger warnings. Yawn...

4 stars

The Guardian gave this 1 star and called it "a deluded blend of magical realism, gratuitous violence and sentimentality"', while the BFI stated: "a ludicrous circus fantasy filled with lavishly orchestrated carnage". Well considering the sort of dire tedious tickbox films these rags adore, I thought that was recommendation enough so rented it! If the Guardian hates it, the film is surely entertaining and worth a watch! And I was not wrong.

Yes, it is overlong and a tad meandering; BUT it has a budget to enable the special effects of superpowers to look decent ( usually disliked such scifi magic realism, but I see the writer of this has only 1 other movie credit, for an Italian film about a criminal with superpowers! So s/he obviously has a thing...)

HOORAH that it is not dubbed; instead it has automatic English subtitles so bravo for that! I hate dubbed foreign films.

The truly great actor Franz Rogowski stars - and I would watch a film about paint drying with him in it. The plot is basically 4 super-powered misfits have to evade the six-fingered leader of a Nazi Berlin circus (Franz Rogowski) . And it is BIG, bawdy (surprisingly so for a 15 cert) and an action-fantasy. which could have started life as a graphic novel. I hate Marvel films, but this is fun at least.

Some vague references to The Wizard of Oz are here too in what is a quest story really. They even mention Dorothy!

Maybe watch with BLOODSTORM (2012, and also called Nazis at the Centre of the Earth, so see Adolf Hitler ride a T-Rex in Antarctica. Errrr).

The difference is that this movie has a big budget, some famous actors (I think Claudio Santamaria is a big veteran Italian actor) and very VERy Italian, as it is OTT and has that visual comedy which in the UK has vanished mostly, but which survives in many Italian and other fori

Nice soundtrack too which includes CREEP by Radiohead and I think NOVEMBER RAIN by Guns N Roses too, oh and a Nazi Rubik's Cube and a smartphone tone in 1943 - but it has a timeslip theme too via the ringleader Nazi...

Just suspend belief, do not think too hard, hide your copy of The Guardian and go along for the ride! Great fun. 4 stars.

The best biopic about Billie Holiday is LADY SINGS THE BLUES (1972) - a movie which succeeds in making Diana Ross almost likeable.

This film is about drugs, specially the socalled war on drugs, which has been going on for over a century in the ever-Puritan USA, starting perhaps with Prohibition 1920-33. African-Americans - as black people are called now, or N-groes as they used to be called by white and black alike in America (I use the hyphen to placate the snowflake censors...) - were a target for the war on drugs, because for whatever reason, their inner city communities is where drug use happened a lot.

Though it did happen amongst well-off whites - remember Cole Porter's I GET A KICK OUT OF YOU and its mention of cocaine, or how Judy Garland et all were injected or pilled up to give them that ZING. But if you research it, a lot of black musicians and actors too from the 1920s and 30s got into heroin especially - a lot of black child stars in those 1930s US films did. Why? Poverty? Bad upbringings? Well Louis Armstrong was born in a brothel and grew up there like Billie but did not fall victim of drink and drugs like her and others.

ANYWAY this is based on the non-fiction book CHASING THE DREAM by Johann Hari, a white British gay former journalist who used to write for The Independent until 2011 when he was exposed as plagiarising some of his articles and fabricating interviews etc in others - his Orwell award was withdrawn for that. I have not read the book but that is the source for this film - a book by a white British man.

What annoyed me most here was the reference to STRANGE FRUIT as Billie Holiday's song. Well yes, she sang it as her trademark song BUT did not write it, or any songs.

STRANGE FRUIT words and music were written by a white Jewish man Abel Meeropol (1903 –1986)whose songs were often published under his pseudonym Lewis Allan. Like Leiber and Stoller, white Jewish boys, who wrote most of the early Elvis hits, and at age 19 wrote HOUND DOG for black female Willie Mae Big Mama Thornton - in which she scolds her man (so 2 teenage white Jewish boys wrote as a black woman! Reminds me of NATURAL WOMAN, lyrics by a man). The Elvis version sold 10 million copies.

This film is too long and too political for me, like a BLM-approved flick - the predictable GASP moments of lynching are there, and it does seem sometimes like a lecture or even sermon as SO many woke political films do - as if they are yelling at us YOU SEE,. RACISM IS BAD. No, really?

What annoys me most is this VERY American culture gets imported and grafted onto the UK which has never had race laws, segregation, or lynching (actually whites were lynched too in the USA at times, in 18th and 19th C, via various immigrant groups fighting or attacks on Brits - no films about that).

The music however is great - a shame about so much padding and the political posturing, and the love triangle stuff drawn out.

3 stars

If you want a movie about poker and gambling, then maybe watch CASINO or THE STING even or MISSISSIPI GRIND.

What we have here is a character study, and perhaps a none too believable one, which entangles poker-playing with the Gulf War and specifically the torture meted out by US Servicemen and women at Abu Ghraib (which means father or little crows in Arabic, parently). Not sure if it works.

Did I believe the inevitable revenge tragedy plot? Nope. Did I believe the romance part? Nope.

But it is entertaining in a brooding aloof way, and has a great soundtrack too.

3 stars

Watchable but ever-so safe, predictable and thus annoying D-Day veteran tale.

NB: The Last Rifleman is loosely based on the true story of British D-Day veteran Bernard Jordan, who left his care home in England to travel to France. Another film based on Jordan's story, The Great Escaper, starring Michael Caine and Glenda Jackson, was released a few weeks earlier.

So you wait ages for a film about an old boy returning to the Normandy beaches and then two come along at once eh?

The added twee oirish-ness annoyed me often in this, epecially as this is Northern Ireland AKA British and all the British Isles too, even though the teen thugs on the streets are shown to try and balance the tweeness.

Also annoying was the utterly gratuitous shoe-horning of a black US GI meeting the main character in France - who has just got a medal for being the first African-American on the beaches on 6 June 1944 (Omahaa and Utah were the US beaches; Brits and Canadians were on Gold, Juno and Sword). Sadly, THE GREAT ESCAPER was also obsessed with tickbox diversity and parachuting people of colour into the cast and background, which is not realistic at all (ever been to Normandy? Well I have! Brixton or Hounslow it ain't).

In WWII the US army was segregated so the black (or 'N-gro) units as called then, (have to use a dash so snowflakes do not have a meltdown and report the review) were separate and DID NOT take part in front line fighting at all; they had support auxiliary roles, loads of African Americans in the medical core or catering or logistics/transport/supplies or here putting up barrage balloons. What worries me is now kids are taught at school that the D-Day beaches were a multiculti operation, with lots of black and brown faces. THAT IS JUST NOT TRUE. Saving Private Ryan got it right. I dread to think of a woke remake, maybe 40% black/Asian and 50% female, plus wheelchairs of course - it could almost be the BBC newsroom!). ALL added to boost the US PR no doubt and get that funding?

There is maybe room for a separate movie about that black barrage balloon unit BUT there already have been many movies about black-only units in WWII in the segregated US army/. Plenty of Jewish troops fought and died and also what Americans call Hispanics, which is what we Europeans call 'white'.

Interesting, the German soldiers defending the beaches on D-Day and killing Americans and Brits were much more diverse and ethnic, as many were central Asians or from parts of the USSR the Nazis invaded - such as Ukraine or further easy. D-Day at Normandy was a surprise attack (watch OPERATION MINCEMEAT or the better THE MAN WHO NEVER WAS to see how the Allies fooled the Germans into thinking the landings would be to the south). SO the ethnic German troops were elsewhere and the beaches of Normandy were defended by many central Asian troops with high cheekbones who looked like Yul Brynner (A Russian who wonderfully played the King of Siam though these days the woke gestapo would make that VERBOTEN in their pc fascism eh?). US GIs were often puzzled when they took prisoners who they said looked 'Chinese'.

As for UK troops. In 1939 there were ONLY 6000 black people in the UK (and some very well off upper class Asians - incl 2 Asian MPs in the 1920s and many at top public schools). Of a population of 44 million. GI mixed race babies made that 8000 at the end of the war. So SHOW THAT not a diversity-worshipping fantasy of what YOU the woke taliban want the past and history to be. Very Hitler or Staling, rewriting the past how you want it, thee knows...

This all matters in terms of accuracy so I find the endless shoehorning of race issues and non-white characters into old stories silly and wrong - because the young and ignorant will believe that is the truth.

But as a film it passes the time, though I prefer THE GREAT ESCAPER which I gave 3 stars.

This gets 2.5 stars. Good in parts.

This is the debut of jobbing TV advert director Michael Pearce (b 1981) who won a best newcomer BAFTA in 2019 for this, which he also wrote.

It is based on the true story of THE BEAST OF JERSEY, Edward Paisnel who terrorised that Channel Island from 1957 to 1971 when he was caught, only after an innocent man was accused, and sentenced to 30 years in prison THOUGH he was released and then moved to the Isle of Wight where he died in 1994. He did not murder anyone, however, though did enter strangers' houses masked at night and abused/raped/assaulted many women/children.

I found it rather overlong to be honest but enjoyed the first two acts. When I was watching them I was saying to myself 'please do not follow the typical trajectory in act 3' but THAT is precisely what happened, which was annoying. I had seen that template in act one and as sad the third act followed it and also jumped the shark rather, to make things more exciting. Act one is brilliant'; act 2 is good. Act 3 - oh dear, not for me, way too predictable and OTT (NO SPOILERS).

It reminded me a bit of the great SIGHTSEERS.

I worked a summer on Jersey where the (no doubt rather well off director/writer grew up) and nodded with recognition at some of the island snobbery which I witnessed first-hand. I remember the strict bouncers (often Irish) outside nightclubs and just pubs in St Helier stopping anyone entering who was wearing trainers - I hated that but we found a decent pub with 3 floors and club atop which let you wear anything! Like normal people. The no jeans rule enforced here made me laugh out loud. Geraldine James as the controlling social climbing mother is superb.

I actually watched Jurassic Park 2 in a St Helier cinema - a standard price red velvet seat on row 3 of the circle. if you wanted a SUPERIOR yellow seat on row 1 and 2, it cost 31 more. LOL. That petty social snobbery is endemic to Jersey and such small rural communities maybe. The Portugal agricultural worker aspect is authentic too - Jersey imports workers from Madeira especially, a Portuguese island, to pick potatoes. Winters on islands can be tough, and they're used to it BUT no doubt blamed from crimes as many such immigrant workers can be.

All in all, a decent watch and on trend with the domestic psychological thriller genre, which has become massive in eBooks especially of late, and esp with main characters who are female (which will get the funding from the Lottery and BBC too no doubt).

3 stars

I really enjoyed this film - one of the best spoofs of the music business I have ever seen. It is all there - the vanity, the delusion, the tiffs, the dodgy manager, the jockeying for position, the falling out, the falling in, the TV/media circus - and all made weirder by being in Japan and featuring one of their insane TV shows (I think ENDURANCE was the one Clive James used to feature on his ITV show; and The Simpsons MR SPARKLE/Homer have been there too of course).

Like the hilarious drug smuggler Channel 4 comedy series THE CURSE, it stars Allan Mustafa, with Hugo Chegwin and Steve Stamp who also write episodes of that and this too. Decent writing is key, and some fun impro no doubt. I laughed out loud several times. Asim Chaudry plays the sleazy band manager to repulsive perfection.

AND the hit song that gets them noticed in Japan is not bad either! Better than most UK Eurovision songs anyway!

I now want to watch the TV series of PEOPLE JUST DO NOTHING which I missed as I watch little terrestrial TV these days (it is mostly so rubbish).

4 stars