Film Reviews by MG

Welcome to MG's film reviews page. MG has written 6 reviews and rated 7 films.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Uncharted

Apalling......poor man's National Treasure

(Edit) 05/09/2022

Don't bother. An absolute mess of a film, without a coherent plot or characters anyone could believe in. Director clearly lost interest himself so wraps it up with 20 minutes of ludicrous CGI 'action' at the end.

Mark Wahlberg totally phones it in, I doubt he even knew what the movie was about....just collected his usual $20m and the other 'lead actors' have all the charisma and screen presence of somebody running a burger van. Utter poop.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

The Nest

Jude , what were you thinking?

(Edit) 14/06/2022

Apalling mess of a film. Chose it because I like JL and he usually makes excellent choices. However not this time. This is the turkey of all time.

Completely uneven, terrible direction and utterly unappealing characters.

Jude Law's character is supposedly head-hunted back to the UK to take up a big, well paid job at his former brokerage but after a few weeks (unexplained) he appears to be flat broke....Uhhh? WTF? He has just moved his family from cool, hip New York suburbs into a crumbling Jacobean mansion in mid-winter, middle of nowhere Surrey .

The family comprises a son, who is a sweet kid at an unfriendly private school (not cliche'd at all....!) but he has a hugely under-written part and it would hev been interesting to explore his character more. Meanwhile the mother and daughter are both charmless, spoilt, batshit-crazy, sociopath bi-atches.

Jude then tries to pull off a deal to sell the brokerage, but owner says no thanks, so JL goes all petulant and sulky , slags off his boss and decides to re-evaluate his life. This seems to have been finally precipitated by being unable to pay his builders and the phone bill.....so where's the big salary ? .......and where was the necessary maturity to plan your re-location to the UK financially , having been a big-shot in New York and uprooted your family. But as usual in movies, people seem to go from riches to rags in about 10 minutes or via one entirely forsee-able event.....

None of it is logical or makes any sense. His kids are left to fend for themselves most of the time, and his American wife is a spoilt Stepford type who evidently cares more about herself and her horse than her kids, so all in all there is no-one to identify with, or root for.

The pacing of the film is very uneven as mentioned above. The first 30 minutes are dreary and tedious, (horrible dark sepier production design) and just when I was about to give up, it got very slightly better.....Then just when they had teed up a decently toxic and combustible climax, the director effectively says...'actually I've can't be arsed to finish the movie'. Lunch everyone....'

Utter shite, don't waste your time.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

211

Decent Nic Cage vehicle

(Edit) 29/01/2019

I'm a Nic Cage fan, but let's be honest he's made some terrible pictures in recent years where he looks as though he just needs the firkin money , so he's totally phoned it in. In fact I cannot think of really good NC movie since the fabulous Family Man in about 2000.

This runs to a typical Hollywood formula but it's well executed, satisfyingly violent enough, pretty nasty villains and has a credible if slightly Starsky & Hutch type cheesy-grin ending. I do wish he'd lose the terrible sideburns and dyed hair though....it makes him look like some washed up old pub singer.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

My Best Friend

Daniel Auteil brilliant again

(Edit) 28/09/2018

Beautiful and brilliant film. Well directed, superb casting for every role. Provides some wonderful insight into the meaning, value and definition of friendship. DA always chooses his roles carefully and this is no exception. Recommend highly.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

The Commuter

Seriously Liam...?????

(Edit) 08/06/2018

Utter rubbish. So many holes in the plot in what is mostly an incomprehensible plot. Neeson and Vera Farmiga totally phoned it in. Patrick Wilson looks as if he'll burst out laughing at any moment.

Ok so LN is a nice middle-class life insurance salesman just been let go, ( unfair dismissal if you ask me...) who used to be a blue-collar Irish cop ( no clichés here..) and yet he lives in the leafy detached hedge fund suburbs but also says he lives hand to mouth ( quote) wtf? wtfSo he's formerly a cop - handy. Therefore knows how to use a gun and fist-fight. Yet he's beginning to look his 65 years of age. He looks as if he should be in a role where he sits in a pub , with a pint of Guinness and a roll -up being wise and sardonic after Mass.

Back to the riveting movie.....We're never told what the conspiracy is they're trying to cover up....., we're never told that the central evil character played by VF is apprehended...or did I miss the teaser for Commuter 2...no-ooooo. Make it stop.

I can't be arsed to write anymore that's already enough of my life I'll never get back.

Shame on you Liam. Must have been a big cheque. I'd have preferred he'd spent his time on Taken 4.

1 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

The Unknown Girl

The Unknown Plot

(Edit) 04/03/2018

Absolutely dire, slow, dull , lame plot do not waste any of your life watching this appalling shite ....wooden acting, awful direction, with actors who really phoned it in, .... I really cannot damn this film enough. Looks like it was made by some 12 year old students who won a competition and the prize was a hand-held camera. If you want to see what the day to day workings of a provincial GP's practice in Belgium look like, then this is the film for you. The characters are empty and unappetising and one has no investment or interest in them. The actors look like they are getting a prompt off camera for every line, there are such gaps between each speaker. No wonder the Belgian film industry is so highly acclaimed ( not...)

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.