Rent Uncharted (2022)

Familiar but fun - Uncharted review by BG

We're introduced to Sam and Nathan Drake as a couple of naughty scamps who like breaking into places to look at historical artifacts. They 'might be' related to THE Sir Francis Drake according to family members - (a nice way of the scriptwriters leaving themselves a back door out of that family tie in case the backlash against Drake's ties to slavery gets worse any time soon).

Later we meet grown-up Nate (Tom Holland), who is now a bartender. He likes robbing people, but it's okay because he's charming and they look like they can probably afford it. Sully (Mark Wahlberg) then rocks up with an attractive proposition for them to steal much more, from people who can almost certainly afford it, while dangling the carrot that Nate might be able to find his missing brother.

Along the way, they team up with Chloe (Sophia Ali) who seems to exist in the script mainly to hold onto a clue and give the hormonally-ravaged Nate something to drool over.

Their adversaries are the 'obvious baddie' Moncada (Antonio Banderas) and Braddock, played by Tati Gabrielle with such serpentine theatrical menace and charisma that this must surely get her on the lists of a lot more casting agents.

The trio of heroes reel from travelogue-pretty set-piece to set-piece while attempting to solve clues, survive traps and beat their enemies, a-la Lara Croft and Indiana Jones before them - a fact the film acknowledges in a cheeky dialogue wink.

Uncharted is fully aware of what it is - an adventure movie following in the footsteps of giants, while out to have a little fun of its own. Holland's Nate Drake is likeable company with a sweet nature and a comical approach, and spends significant amounts of the film either half dressed or wet, to the degree that you wonder if it's now become contractual. Wahlberg's Sully is only saved by the actor's charisma; while fairly amusing, he spends so much of the film indulging in properly scummy behaviour and using others that it would've been a disaster in the wrong hands. You can't help suspecting that the role would've worked even better in the hands of someone more adept at wry comedy like Nathan Fillion (if I can say that without getting lynched by the fans of the Uncharted fan movie).

All the usual cliches get trotted out - the cynicism of the older partner, the hero 'saving' someone who shouldn't need that written into their role in this day and age, the cocky young hero getting in over their head...

Plot-wise, it's never better than ridiculous, and is fun as long as you can stringently resist the temptation to put it under even the slightest scrutiny. Otherwise everything - and I really do mean pretty much EVERYTHING in the storyline comes tumbling down. A 'hidden' location that has a modern street grille above it, so should've been found by the workmen installing it decades ago...the location of the final treasure which could (and should) have been found by dozens of tourists from 2 different directions. The softest precious metal in the world suddenly becoming as great at stopping high-velocity bullets as a kevlar vest (and REALLY light!). The film has a problem with weight in general, and anybody with the slightest knowledge of flight, archaeology, history, water, old transport, new transport, or indeed gravity, will have to swallow ALL the disbelief for a finale that would've killed everybody involved three times over before it even gets halfway.

If you can manage that (and I don't mean that facetiously, it really is worth trying) you will have a lot of fun with what is easily one of the silliest light-hearted adventure romps in years.

An A-list cast carrying out barmy stunts in beautiful locations with some degree of feelgood factor? It's worth the effort.

Silly Copycat Adventure Film - Uncharted review by GI

A big greenscreen heavy childrens adventure film based on a video game. It steals heavily from Indiana Jones, The Goonies and even Mission Impossible with Tom Holland essentially playing an unmasked Peter Parker type. He's Nate a streetwise, parkour loving thief and conman who gets involved with an untrustworthy treasure hunter played by Mark Wahlberg. The story is the hunt for some old treasure and they have to sort out a load of clues and ancient booby trap devices to find where it is and all the while a load of baddies are after it too. There's a side plot involving Nate's long lost brother and post credit sequences that signpost a possible sequel. It's a silly film really, aimed at lovers of the game which I'm guessing are aged 8 to 12 and Holland is just reaffirming his action credentials but he's a long way from nailing a gritty role based on this.

Apalling......poor man's National Treasure - Uncharted review by MG

Don't bother. An absolute mess of a film, without a coherent plot or characters anyone could believe in. Director clearly lost interest himself so wraps it up with 20 minutes of ludicrous CGI 'action' at the end.

Mark Wahlberg totally phones it in, I doubt he even knew what the movie was about....just collected his usual $20m and the other 'lead actors' have all the charisma and screen presence of somebody running a burger van. Utter poop.

A bit of a disappointment this one. - Uncharted review by Sandy

It was a poor Indiana Jones imitation with a bit of swash swashbuckling if your stuck with nothing to watch....go down the pub rather than watch this dross