Film Reviews by None

Welcome to None's film reviews page. None has written 12 reviews and rated 146 films.

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The Human Stain

Hmmmm

(Edit) 14/12/2006

A film that drags on and on and isnt actually about anything significant!! Nicole however produces another believable character.

1 out of 4 members found this review helpful.

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Million Dollar Baby

Million Dollar Blubber

(Edit) 15/08/2006

Well what can I say? A friend suggested I watch this, I heard it was about a female boxer and just thought no thanks, then one rainy sunday when I wasnt at the pub! I put it in and oh my goddddddddddddddd! well i was hooked, eastwood plays a good part but Hilary Swank plays an amazing part, this woman is genius, and quite sexy in a weird masculine kind of way, anyway, a fab story line of the girl with nothing makes it big, but with a sad twist,but hey i could handle that, what I couldnt handle was when Eastwood tells Swank what the words on the back of her boxing robe mean, oh my god, I can only say what followed was the sobbing noises of a young child who has been told that their pet earwig has died. this is a must see film, even if you hate boxing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 out of 6 members found this review helpful.

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The Descent

Believe You're there !

(Edit) 09/08/2006

This creepy heart stopping film had been filmed with such amazing tension and claustrophobic atmospheres that you can't help but feel you are there. The film starts slowly but weaves a clever bitter twist of disloyalty and revenge which runs in nicely along with the rest of the film, If you want a scary, jumpy movie that will leave you stuck to the ceiling time after time again, this is the film for you. And oh yeah, don't watch it alone !

4 out of 4 members found this review helpful.

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I Know Who Killed Me

Dull

(Edit) 25/04/2008

Well, what can I say, this film is so predictable, and echoes the plots of films made before it a hundred times over.

Lohan gives a rubish,half hearted performance, but hey, didnt we all expect that anyway?!

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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The Brave One

OK

(Edit) 25/04/2008

Ok, so this film isnt one of Jodie Fosters best films, but she still, as always delivers a high performance, this is the story of lost love and the things one is driven to do to hurt the people who have hurt you!

Give it a try.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Slither

Hmmm Dull

(Edit) 16/03/2007

I love horror films and comedy films and often when the two are mixed it makes for great viewing, i.e the "Scream" trilogy,"Boy Eats Girl". However something went very wrong when they made this film! Its not horror at all, ok maybe it is but very very mild and I didnt laugh or even smile once. And in places this film is darn right stupid, with trashy effects. My advice would be don't bother.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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The Omen

Rubbish Remake

(Edit) 16/03/2007

So, how excited was I when I heard a reamke of the classic Omen was being made. Well upon watching it I was really let down. Yes it echo's the original story line all the way through but the characters are not up to scratch. Damien is no where near as sinister as the original young boy, and Julia Stiles who in my opinion is a good actress just does not suit the role of Damiens mother, on occasions I found myself laughing at her when I clearly shoudn't have been! Liev Schreiber plays the father but all I could think of when I saw him was his chrarter Cotton Weary in the scream films, he's just not a versatile actor. If you want a good film stcik to the original.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Three

Miss It If You Can

(Edit) 12/03/2007

For a film that is meant to be an erotic thriller, it's more like watching paint dry. There are no thrills here and it's very obvious from the start the Kelly will end up the muscle clad hunk-a-chunk. If your a big kelly fan then this is for you,but watching her run around a beach half dressed for most of the film got a little boring for me. And please please don't wait for a fantastic ending because there isn't one!!!!!

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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When a Stranger Calls

Predictable

(Edit) 12/03/2007

In some reviews this film promised alot, when in actaul fact all it promises is a predictable host of characters, plot and scrip. However if you enjoy watching victims run up the stairs to be killed and instead of out the front door then this film is for you!

Nothing remotely sinister here, sorry folks.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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The Da Vinci Code

Book Better By far

(Edit) 12/03/2007

If like me you enjoyed the book, then maybe you shouldn't watch this. The book moves at a faster pace and manages to deliver a bigger whollop. Tom Hanks acting leaves alot to be desired and doesn't live up to the book character! The book creates alot more excitment than the film can and whilst you can't stop turning pages in the book, you can't stop counting how minutes untill the film is actually over. Big let down.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Bring It On: All or Nothing

Sassy Quirky Fun!

(Edit) 12/03/2007

I was a bit dubious about this 3rd offering of the Bring It On flicks as I personally thought the 2nd was rather dull. However this is possibly the best of all 3, Sassy Quirky fun that has us in stitches, if you liked means girls and the way those girls got their claws out, wait til these girls get their pom poms out!! And beyonce's sister can actually act! So does this film bring it? YES it does.

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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She's the Man

So Funny It Hurts!

(Edit) 12/03/2007

Amanda Bynes from the stupidly silly Amanda show on Nickelodeon TV show actually produces a hilarious character. After having her female football team axed she poses as a guy and gets on their team by taking on her brothers identity. Then of course she goes and falls for one of her team mates. Watching her trying to hide her identity from her fellow team mates makes for very funny viewing especially when she forgets who's shes meant to be and when. If you love comedy watch this. Ohh also includes the yummy Channing Tatum!!!

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.