Film Reviews by JS

Welcome to JS's film reviews page. JS has written 5 reviews and rated 15 films.

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Assassin's Creed

Ye Gods, this was awful

(Edit) 02/11/2017

I missed this in the cinema, but I've two friends who independently went to see it and told me that they left long before the ending. I kind of assumed that this was just because they hadn't played the games, and didn't 'get it'.

I've played all the games, and while I love the historical aspect and the gameplay, the modern sci-fi element is a bit naff in the games, as if the writers have no real clue what to do with it.

And then there's this... I think they found a way to take out everything that was even slightly interesting about the games, and make what was left even more boring.

Movies based on games have a bad rep, but this one set a new low. Unless you have no paint that you can watch drying, you have better things to do with your time than watch this tedious mess.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Decoys

ZZzzzzz....

(Edit) 25/10/2017

After about 15 minutes of watching this, I realised what a piece of forgetable dross it really is. it played to the end, with me half-watching it and half doing more interesting stuff like watching my fingernails grow...

Definitely one to miss.

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Supergirl: Series 2

A teen romance yarn, with elements of superheroism...

(Edit) 19/10/2017

I'm still enjoying this show, but getting a bit tired of how much of each episode is taken up by the romances, gay and otherwise. How is it that DC can make movies that are almost works of art, but their TV shows sometimes leave you wondering whether their target audience consists mainly of 14-year old girls?

But while we're not being subjected to the angst of Supie's love life or sitting through the show's heavy-handed determination to show 'inclusivity', the storyline is still pretty good.

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Aliens vs. College Girls

Life is too short for 'movies' like this

(Edit) 19/10/2017

I would have given this movie a one-star review regardless (since there's no option for zero stars), but now I feel compelled to do so, giving that someone has actually given it 5 stars. I can only wonder what that person must have been smoking or drinking as they watched it.

It's almost November, and this is by far the worst thing I've watched this year. I mean.... I've just sat here for about 5 minutes trying to think of one good thing to say about it.

Special effects: rubbish.

Story: rubbish.

Violence: badly done, and nasty.

Nudity: see under 'Violence'.

It's just dire. So dire that it doesn't even make it into the category of being so bad that it's good/funny. It's not good. It's not funny. It's just dire. Trust me - however dull your life may be, you can still find better ways to spend 81 minutes than watching this drivel.

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The Lost City of Z

Incredibly dull

(Edit) 14/10/2017

Maybe some true stories just aren't fit to be made into movies. This would be an example. A rambling, unstructured story (a bit like much of real life), ending in a sort of anticlimactic non-ending. A couple of hours of my life that I'll never get back.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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