Film Reviews by None

Welcome to None's film reviews page. None has written 7 reviews and rated 71 films.

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Couscous

god awful.......2 1/2 hours you wont get back

(Edit) 02/03/2009

A very short review of this film, in total contrast with the actual film which is a meandering 2 1/2 hours long.

Nothing really happens......for 2 1/2 hours nothing actually happens of interest. The characters, while excellently acted are irritating to say the least, even the lead who we are supposed to feel sorry for. They argue and bicker for 15 minutes at a time, usually about potty training, affairs or couscous. And so on to the couscous which is like a centerpiece to this film. The mother figure is suppose to cook the best couscous ever. Well it looks awful, soggy veg on dry couscous so when the characters talk about how delicious it is its really hard to believe. And the characters do talk about it alot, usually at the same time as shovelling it in their mouths....lots of open mouths stuffed with this food, and lots of dribbles down chins.....rank.

I wont tell you about the story because its really not there. Lots of awful eating habits and lots of boring bickering.

I sat through it all expecting a big pay-off at the end..........silly me! wasted a saturday night on this!!!!!!

Avoid!!

6 out of 10 members found this review helpful.

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1408

'Check in' for a disappointment....

(Edit) 04/02/2009

I am a huge fan of the original Stephen King short story on which this movie is based upon. I have read it many, many times and always pondered on what a great film it could become. So, when this came out i shot to the cinema and could barely contain my excitement and anticipation......Perhaps this is where i went wrong.

Because this film just cannot compare to the suspense, the horror and magnitude of the original story.

My advice, only see if you have not read the original.

And if thats the case what you will get here is a adequate, and somewhat different ghost story which will keep you guessing till the last minute. Its shot in extremely atmospheric lighting all of the time and most of the case bring realism and tension to the script, although Mr Cusack in the lead role somewhat underwhelms.

So..... If you have read the original story? DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP!

and... If you haven't? THEN ENJOY A DIFFERENT KIND OF GHOST STORY.

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Flightplan

Not the Rightplan

(Edit) 03/02/2009

With the writing, directing and acting credentials involved in this film, i did expect somthing rather special. Instead i got a average, plugging along thriller, with a dreadful twist in its tail (i.e. dull) and some 'acting by numbers' from the usually excellant Ms Foster.

It just feels like nobody cared about this project, and so the film ended up barely leaving the runway.

2 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

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Hancock

super chuckles, super time.

(Edit) 01/02/2009

This is almost a film in two halfs. The first a out and out comedy showing off Mr Smiths undoubtably iconic talents. Lots of hillarious scenes and laugh out loud moments.

The second half of the film takes a more action based slant. Where our hero 'hancock' finally finds the villain of the piece.

Special effects are out of this world and the acting, by all the lead players is also on form.

This is a traditional, warm family film with a not so subtle moral at the end...........if we believe in ourselves and others, the world would be a better place. I sentiment, in this day and age, i think we can all learn from.

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Mama, There's a Man in Your Bed

french charm and romance at its best.

(Edit) 01/02/2009

To put it simply, this film is one of the most heart warming and romantic films, of any nationality, you will see in your lifetime. Gentle comedic moments gravitate with the meaty emotional scenes, played onto a backdrop of absolute poverty, to the unadultrated wealth of the lead characters. This truely a film of opposites attracting, through a common love of life.

Do see this film and restore your faith in beauty and love.

3 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

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The Suicide Manual

hypnotically sleep inducing

(Edit) 14/02/2009

I rented this film thinking it would be similar to The Ring or other J-Horror films, which i am a fan of.........

This is really nothing like those films. Firstly the budget was obviously a shoestring and it seemed to be filmed on VHS video camera. Secondly, the story lacked thrills, twists or scares. It is a slow moving and frankly strange movie which had no redeeming qualities. The acting was poor beyond belief and the storyline? paper thin. In fact this film has the rather dubious honour of being the first film to put me to sleep! i awoke started by the end credits having managed to watch a hour of it. Not really recommended unless you like slow moving, cheaply filmed movies with the minimum of storyline. Only giving it 2 stars because it did have some kind of strange ethereal quality.

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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The Ruins

A shocking, scary surprise !

(Edit) 04/02/2009

What a wonderful little horror film this is. And quite a refreshing change on the 'teens in trouble' genre. This is far from the usual 'slasher' movie.

What starts out as a simple sight seeing trip to a Myan temple, turns into the tour from hell almost immediately, the action starts quick and is relentless throughout.

I wont spoil it for you by giving details of what attacks the teens, but needless to say, its as original as hell and twice as nasty!!!

Watch this rollercoaster of a movie and enjoy loads of chills, thrills and maybe even some bellyache (lots of gore!!)

3 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

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