Film Reviews by Wkarmo

A total waste of 155 minutes (and money in making such preposterous rubbish). All about a dense, fopish, small, pixie-headed young man ("Paul" - yes, really!) who is supposedly destined to lead the universe but spends much time jumping up and hugging older, much larger men ("warriors") and having dreams that everyone wants to know about. The "warriors" are so old and paunchy that they can barely move. The "traitor" is oriental! Badly written and scripted, poorly acted, stilted with silly animation. A single episode of Dr Who leaves it for dead. Begs the question: Why did I bother?

Bully makes good. Typical American schmaltz with no women except a characterless weak girlfriend (who gets dropped). Must have been written by a middle-aged male who is into bullying, jazz and drumming. All rather pathetic.

Not a good film! The usual woman murdered, Swedish hunters, many guns, silly people and none likeable. No humour. Much shouting and violence. Lead detective - the usual over-weight, unattractive, middle-aged, badly shaven, boorish oaf. Time badly wasted.

Documentary in which Al Gore presents a lecture on global warming as an existential danger to our planet - credible, except that he spends all his time travelling to present his lecture, flying first class!

Films made in the US are guaranteed to be dreadful, and this Batman (sans Robin) film is no exception. Much violence, many fast cars and traffic accidents, a huge number of silly people, inaudible dialogue and no humour (not even the Joker had jokes). A complete waste of time (and money). I wish I had read the other reviews earlier - I wouldn't have bothered!

Absolutely dreadful, melodramatic garbage (Dr Who gone very wrong and without the laughs). A silly woman, who obeys neither the laws of time nor gravity and speaks every language in the universe, assists aliens (think octopus with 7 legs) to bring total peace and harmony to the world (but fails in her own marriage and can't stop her daughter from dying of cancer). Probably the worst waste of 116 min ever.

Ghastly, ludicrous, costumed rubbish that even the superb Samantha Morton couldn't rescue and that Johnny Depp and John Malkovich should have known not to touch. Poorly written and silly plot (if it could be called that) a total waste of time. Even Peter Greenaway could have done better.

With the exception of that by wanker extraordinaire, Peter Greenaway, all short movies excellent soupçons of life in the UK (and India) by film-makers who have gone on to make wonderful, full-length movies. Delightful and clever.

Wiry, little man and his girlfriend (a prostitute) escape from Vienna to the country, rob a bank and, in so doing, his girl gets shot by a policeman, who turns out to be his neighbour. Little man seeks revenge for the shooting and gets it (sort of).

Absolutely ghastly. Made for the US lovers of western movies, complete with cowboys, pick-up trucks, cardboard town and people, blood & gore, good cop/bad cop, revenge of an aboriginal underdog. Even a black panther! All very silly.