Film Reviews by HW

I couldn’t believe that you could make the classic adventure ‘Treasure Island’ even better, but you can! With songs, gags and muppets! I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to see this film. You are not a true fan of cinema until you’ve seen this. Tim Curry and Billy Connolly naturally shine as nautical rogues amongst the hilarious casting of the Muppets as Stevenson’s classic characters. Most uproariously, the fabulous Miss Piggy as the marooned Ben Gunn! Sorry Benjamina, Kermit’s (sorry, Captain Smolly’s) jilted and enraged fiancé. Could this be even more enjoyable than Muppets Christmas Carol? Maybe… 

Decent and faithful adaptation of the novel, with some interesting changes: for example, turning Barlow from the smooth, charming Dracula-ripoff to the hissing Nosferatu rat-man. The performances are surprisingly good, there’s dread suspense and the vampires are genuinely creepy: maybe even creepier than I imagined. The vampire boy materialising at his friend’s fog-wreathed window will haunt me. The movie did make me afraid to look out of my windows at night. 

Proof that you can make an absolutely gnarly, nasty horror film without resorting to buckets of gore. This film gets under your skin immediately. The farmhouse sets, with its low-budget decorations of bones and other gruesome trophies, looks like a genuine serial killer’s den. I can’t think of a horror climax either that’s more of a nerve-shredding, emotionally exhausting terror than the one here. It’s hard to imagine the shock and impact this movie had in the early 70s: like ‘Psycho’ on acid. This film must have raised the bar on horror more than any other. The American dream literally being chain-sawed apart. Probably didn’t do a lot for the Texas tourism board though.  

There are few films I’ve seen that engulf the audience in the pain and grief of those left behind during wartime. Through Vikander’s raw performance, we feel every loss that piles up in this WW1 epic drama. We also experience a woman’s viewpoint of war in the typical role of a nurse, along with the physical and emotional exhaustion that went along with it. A very effective anti-war argument that challenges any notion that war can be a good idea without having to show graphic scenes of combat, while also challenging the blaming games that take place after a conflict. In this film, everyone is humanised and everyone suffers. 

Personally, this might be my favourite ghost story film. Although films like ‘The Haunting’ show how much you can scare an audience with subtle effects and cinematic skills, ‘Poltergeist’ deserves recognition for its impressive -  nay, mind-boggling - array of practical effects and bonkers imagery. I like how it’s both a sentimental Spielberg-produced drama about an average, loving American family (yuck) and also a relentless terror trip from director-horror veteran ‘Texas Chainsaw’ Tobe Hooper, taking full advantage of the film’s big budget. For instance, a touching discussion of life after death is followed by a character pulling his own face off in a bathroom mirror. Just a real ride that shows up a lot of the repetitive, over-serious ghost horrors from the last few years and a reminder that ghostly horror can be found in the most unlikely, modern and average of homes. Although this is not strictly a movie about poltergeists, I like the back-story with its message of respecting the dead. 

A very close adaptation of the book. In fact, I feel like they streamlined the plot in a more satisfactory way, although you do lose more of the humorous brotherly bickering. Cool cast as well (John C. Reilly is great), and the messages of the book (family over greed and violence) are not lost. Within the western genre, this is definitely an oddball and an acquired taste. As a western lover, I’m still scratching my head about it but that’s what makes it original. Decent shootouts too and a striking score. 

Decent adaptation of the novel, with great performances (especially from Jeff and Hailee). Grateful to watch it with subtitles as I couldn’t follow all the dialogue in the cinema! Scenery, action and costumes all good for a western. Still not sure if I prefer John Wayne’s fun performance, but this is a closer adaptation of the novel, including its darker scenes. I liked seeing the Coen brothers doing a proper period western, but I think I prefer their more imaginative work on ‘Ballad of Buster Scruggs’. 

I’m surprisingly enjoying modern horror at the moment. This might be the best, most savagely original horror film to come out in years. Yes, it’s stealing imagery from a LOT of classic horror films but it dissects (literally) a very relevant topic with the timeless message of ‘be careful what you wish for’. A very extreme criticism of beauty standards, feminine expectations and obsessing with perfection, paying tribute to gruesome 80s body-horror prosthetics with spectacular transformation and body warps. While you couldn’t call this subtle, it does deliver some truly unnerving and (dare I say) MOVING scenes and performances amidst the mayhem. A great concept, just not a great date movie. 

I watched this because I read the crazy Stephen King ‘novella’ (except it was over 200 pages so practically a novel). The film is a slightly more toned down, subtle version of the more gross, violent book, but still harrowing. The biting satire of a golden American boy admiring a Nazi war criminal is not lost. The boy playing the sick adolescent was captivating, but Sir Ian McKellen was incredibly and disgustingly compelling as the sly, murderous Dussander. A lot of the key events and dialogue were kept from the book, with some intriguing changes. Crazy to see David Schwimmer co-starring in such a dark movie, and to think that the director would go on to do ‘X-Men’ next. Sometimes evil is just around the corner…. 

Viggo’s love for the western really comes through in his Labour of love. This feels both like a traditional, sweeping romance with enough stark, original twists to make it stand out from other cowboy films, like a non-linear narrative. Thanks to Viggo’s direction, this film looks and sounds beautiful (especially since he composed the melancholic score). The story and performances are both touching and raw. I also like how Viggo tried to portray America as a land of emigrants rather than rootin-tootin cowpokes. This is more of a lyrical period drama than your average action western, but the violence is still brutal and shocking for the community, like in ‘Unforgiven’. Nice one, Viggo. 

‘Castaway’ for the 21st century. It was fascinating to see what travelling to and living on Mars could be like. The science behind everything felt intricate and believable too (although I wouldn't mind hearing an actual scientist’s take on this, as I’ve read a few online comments poking holes in this film). Matt Damon gives a captivating performance, although his character’s cockiness does get annoying at times. However, in that situation you would need an insane amount of self-belief to get through everything and stay sane. Ridley Scott doesn’t skimp on his talent for visuals either, delivering a convincing Mars landscape. Impressive supporting cast too. So not a complicated sci-fi but very watchable and gripping. Gives you faith in humanity, when so many people work together to bring one man back… believable? 

A surprising delight. Not only is this the most faithful adaptation to the plot of a Hellboy comic but it’s also the scariest Hellboy movie so far. Brian Taylor proved to Neil Marshall (director of the last Hellboy movie) that you don’t make Hellboy adult and edgy with a load of swearing and gore. This film genuinely packs a dread, creeping atmosphere and the effects are horribly impressive. The actor playing Hellboy is great too, playing him as gruff with a sardonic sense of humour. The rest of the cast also successfully bring Mignola’s characters to life. Anyone who likes Hellboy, horror and comic book movies should enjoy this impressive indie effort. 

As a western fan, I always like seeing western plot lines and conventions placed in other settings. This story of a warrior seeking redemption on a long journey could easily be transported to the Wild West. The setting and style of the film also reminds me of Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns, with plenty of quiet, suspenseful desert scenes (where characters stare rather than speak) and a steady pace punctuated by sudden violence. But instead of the Wild West, we get the unique setting of ancient India, beautifully and convincingly recreated. A truly original, poignant and remarkable film. 

A fairly decent horror film in comparison to the other Saw films. Jigsaw is actually portrayed as a sympathetic antihero: first when he’s conned by an unscrupulous doctor and then when it turns out there are people even more sadistic than him, because of course Jigsaw has a ‘moral code’; even when he’s enacting an overly elaborate brutal series of vengeful torture devices where people disfigure themselves in order to redeem themselves. Hey you’ve cut off your own leg so you can be a better person! 

Perhaps the quality of this movie is hard to argue for in this day and age, especially when there are many scenes of red-coated white men gunning down hundreds of black men. But honestly, this film didn’t feel as patriotic or jingoist as I expected it to. There are some excellent performances (Caine included) of the British soldiers as ordinary men caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, simply doing their duty: ‘Why us?’ ‘Because we’re here.’ Arguably they wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for colonialism and empire-building. There is no sense of pride in the empire or war. By the end, the Brits are left shaken, even ashamed to be alive: a realistic portrayal of the psychological effects of warfare. I don’t know how accurate this depiction of this extraordinary event is but it’s arguably the most epic siege film, with suspenseful, emotional build-up to fierce action scenes and spectacular scenery. You can see how this inspired ‘Two Towers’. I also thought the Zulus were depicted decently as noble warriors. A tour-de-force of emotion and the horrors of colonial conflict.