Film Reviews by None

Welcome to None's film reviews page. None has written 48 reviews and rated 146 films.

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Doctor Who: Remembrance of the Daleks

remember remember

(Edit) 03/08/2011

At this time the good Doctors greatest threat came not from the Daleks or the Cybermen, it was the BBC itself. Despite budget cuts too the show and opposition from the powers that be, the team struggled on regardless. The then producer John Nathan Turner was for the most part unfairly treated by the fans at the time, who held him to blame for the obvious faults with the show. However he can be responsible for accepting some rather poor quality scripts it has to be said. Also the stars received some flack and I had have hated to have been in their shoes dealing with the lack of quality scripts they got lumbered with, Both Sylvester and his predecessor had the same problem. The knives were out and the Doctor in danger.

But despite all this rubbish going on, they squared their shoulders and got on with it. Let's be honest now, even David Tennant and Matt Smith have had scripts that haven't been so well received. But despite all of this there were still gems amongst the dross, this being one of them. It still suffers from minor faults (a super powered baseball bat for one) but the visuals are not too bad, the sight of a dalek ship landing in a school playground is quite impressive. And for the most part there's some sound acting here. McCoy though not on the top form he was in in The Curse of Fenric or Ghostlight still delivers a fairly sound performance mixing humour, with the scheming that his character had amicably enough. If anything perhaps Sophie's performance is the one that's slightly under par. But the support cast are excellent, particularly Simon Williams, George Sewell and the much missed Michael Sheard although his role is sadly limited. The Daleks are as deadly as ever as a civil war breaks out on the streets of 1960's England, and there's a nice sense of nostalgia as Susan's school and a certain junkyard become the background for the conflict. Watch this one with an open mind and remember that if not for McCoy and the previous incarnations, we wouldn't have the show come back with Christopher Eccleston at the helm. Watch and hopefully enjoy.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Star Trek

space, the final frontier..

(Edit) 19/03/2011

and I hope not the final outing for this incarnation of the star trek franchise. Visually stunning, with space battles and action sequences that rival those of any of the previous movies or indeed surpass them, and a cracking audio soundtrack and sound effects that will make your ears ring!

On the whole good (if not great performances) and I do wish we would have seen more of Scotty as played by Simon Pegg. Spot the subtle Kirk impression by the lead actor as he copies gestures etc etc of Shatner. It's subtle and you may miss them! I reckon this is the reboot that the series needed and cannot wait for the sequel.

Oh and may I say best performance has to be Zachary Quinto as Spock, superb!

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Shinobi

don't pass this by!

(Edit) 25/01/2011

If you are a fan of asian cinema or a relative newcomer too the genre then this film is well recommended to both. The movie is well shot like most asian movies. It lacks the grandeur of House of Flying Daggers or The Golden Lotus but it's still a pleasure too the eyes. The movie serves as a Ninja adventure meets the X-Men meets Romeo and Juliet and if that sounds like an unlikely mixture then don't let it put you off. There are some great fight scenes and as said, some great photography. The acting is top class and the direction almost faultless. Give it a go!

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Resident Evil: Extinction

game on!

(Edit) 25/01/2011

Normally game to movie adaptations suffer from being a good idea on paper and then fall foul of poor scripting or bad direction when they get transferred to celluloid.

Fortunately Resident Evil is a series of films that do not fall into that category. Also some films tend to contradict the history of the game to some extent and that has happened here as the lead character is not a game regular at all but is likely to be in the reboot of the game series itself.

Anyway this film continues to roll on true to form with some great (and not overly graphic) horror and some great action scenes aplenty. The film is well shot, well made and in my mind Capcom should get the script writers of this series to sit down and write the games as I feel after resident evil 4, the games have lost their way. Well worth a rent.

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Evan Almighty

a rarity

(Edit) 08/07/2010

what is a rarity? A sequel that is much much better than the Jim Carey original. The first is a typical Carey film, fun but full of semi mask like antics as he discovers he has powers and can perform miracles.

This film takes a more subtle approach, detailing the problems faced by a guy and his family moving into a new neighbourhood.

But he starts seeing weird signs and messages and loads of wood starts getting delivered too his home. He then finds he has an 'animal' magnetism, quite literally!

I don't want to spoil things but he soon becomes obsessed with building a full blown copy of Noah's ark and being a senator that's going to cause mayhem!

Starring the lead from the 40 year old virgin, it's a more subtle, refined performance than Jim Carey's and is a movie well worth watching. Go on give it a go!

The deleted scenes are worth a look and the bloopers are very entertaining.

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Massacre in Dinosaur Valley

hard to digest

(Edit) 08/07/2010

Oh dear, this movie aught to be fined by the trade description act. How can you have a sequel to a cannibal movie like cannibal ferox that only has ONE act of cannibalism in the entire movie? No seriously, ONLY the one.

It becomes a standard action (and that's a term used loosely)

film and is by no means a horror/cannibal film. With gratuitous nudity, bad, no terrible acting, by all this really is not worth a rental.

AVOID!

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Battle Warrior

If you thought that Ong Bak was cool...

(Edit) 08/07/2010

and indeed it was, and if you are expecting more of the same then I am afraid you are in for a major disappointment. It was made some seven years before Ong Bak and well was a waste of celluloid.

The plot (such as it exists) concerns a golden artifact and a group of treasure hunters plans to liberate it. Sounds fine so far but the item is deep in the territory of a psychotic warlord and he wants it so he can become filthy rich. Sounds like an ideal recipe for an action flick? Yes it does but falls well short. Oh sure there are some fancy fight scenes but the dubbing and voice over acting is so so bad it's laughable. The mad warlord sounds camp, there's a german soldier dubbed by someone doing a very poor Arnie impression, and that's just for starts. Added too the problems are night filming that's so dark you can't see a darned thing!

The director obviously knew nothing about night filming! The movie is dire, and parts seem made up for the pure hell of it. What is the zombie for? AVOID this piece of nonsense please!

I wish I had.

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Housewives Uncovered 1: Wet and Willing

oh dear

(Edit) 29/04/2010

Come on, this is supposed to be an adult movie and I understand there are some limits as to what can be shown but to pixellate out the 'naughty bits' of males and females alike and to obscure what's going on make this a laughable effort at best. Avoid

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Lost in Translation

Oh dear....lost in translation..more like lost the plot..

(Edit) 12/09/2005

Well after all the hype, me and my partner settled down for what was billed as a rom-com.

What we saw was an admittedly beautifully filmed movie, with an interesting soundtrack to say the least, but after all the hype just what the heck was all the fuss about?

Over one and a half hours of well....not a an awful lot happening. Both of us for some reason sat through it all and then wondered what was the point?

Bill Murray deserves better than this. Definitely a case of the movie did not live up to all the hype.

Good film if you suffer from insomnia or you enjoy watching films with no point to them.

And what the hell DID he whisper into her ear at the end? Not that I care....

5 out of 11 members found this review helpful.

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The Hollow

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear

(Edit) 29/12/2005

Fans of the original Disney animated classic and the superb Johnny Depp movie, will be shall we say, more than a tad disappointed with this update/sequel.

Composed entirley of a cast of unknowns, except for Judge Reinhold and a very wasted Stacy Keach as a drunk graveyard attendent, what sounds at first quite promising, turns into a mundane, boring and ultimately poor sequel.

Please stay clear of this!!!

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Monsters Inc.

Monstrous fun!

(Edit) 28/09/2006

Pixar have done it again! Great animation, matched with superb vocal casting and what you have is a very enjoyable family film that's simply just....fun, and you cannot say that about too many films these days now, can you to be honest?

The film centers around Mikey and his buddy who work for a company that supply energy to the Monsters city, but that can only be charged up by the screams of the kids of whos'e closets they haunt. Normally the world of the humans and the kids are kept seperate by doors that open into the inside of the closet, but then a twist of fate insures that a little girl makes her way back into the monsters world and now Mikey and pal, have the problem of keeping her prescence a secret and get her back to her world, whilst trying to keep her out of the clutches of an evil work colleague.

There are some great scenes and the animation is superb, every hair on Mike for one, is individually drawn, so when he moves, ALL the hair does! Match this with some very interesting extras on the disc and this is a film that is most definitely worth a watch...or as we did, watched twice before sending it back!

If you do you may spot moments that you missed before, but fear not, you will enjoy it as much the second time around, heck, maybe even more!

2 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

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Ringmaster

you thought the tv show was outrageous!!!

(Edit) 28/09/2006

Well without the restrictions of tv to hold it back, this film is lewd, crude and quite amusing.

Sure it doesn't provide the bust a gut laughter of American Pie or Scary Movie part one, but it has it's moments for sure and it's not QUITE as controversial as the musical based around his real life show!

But you will need a broad sense of humour for this one and as for good taste, well that's lacking, but it at least raised a chuckle from me and my partner as we watched this bawd, lewd but fun movie.

0 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Hide and Seek

Now if only....

(Edit) 29/10/2006

Now if only the director of the sixth sense hadn't lost his touch, this is what you might get.

Okay it's not as tension filled or as atmospheric sixth sense, or unbreakable, but it doesn't descend into the nonsense of his last effort or the boring signs. Rob De Niro is on fine form indeed as is most of the cast, not all of them I have heard of to be honest. But that aside we have a strong cast, De Niro, the gal who played Jean Grey in the X-Men series and a young lass who is the focal point of this flick.

Precocious she isn't, but she captures the role of a young, possibly haunted child indeed.

The premise of the movie sees the girl in question inventing an imaginary friend called 'Charlie' after the death of her mother.

However things start getting creepy when it appears that 'Charlie' doesn't like dad...

The film moves at a decent pace and turns up the tension very nicely indeed. True this is no classic horror/ghost story but it is effective and is genuinely spine chilling. Looks like this one has been overlooked a little. Do yourself a favour, give this one a try, it has a very good twist at the end that for once isn't sign posted in neon pink sixteen foot high letters. Creepy stuff indeed and check out the bonus features, with four alternative endings!

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Creep

Creep....creepy indeed

(Edit) 14/11/2006

If you are looking for a nice romantic movie, or a light hearted romp that the whole family can enjoy then forget it! If however, you are looking for a dark, atmospheric, and genuinely tension filled horror flick then look no further.

When a young lady falls asleep on an underground tube station bench and gets herself locked in, all thoughts of a liaison with George Clooney are soon forgotten as she soon realises that she's locked in and what's worse she isn't alone.

It's definitely not her lucky night as she is almost raped by a guy from the same party that she has left early, only to be saved as he is dragged screaming off the train she's on. She realises that her would be attacker is in serious trouble, and if he is then so is she.

What follows is a dark, moody and tension filled battle for survival as she struggles to last the night and make it back to the daylight world above. The odds seem stacked against her but she discovers that she isn't the only one being hunted by someone, or something that stalks the tunnels of the underground.

The film will have you jumping for real and I advise don't watch it with the lights out! Well only if you are very very brave!

Joking aside I cannot stress that this is a very very good scare flick and it had me on the edge of my seat. It's not an original idea as another low budget movie made in the 60's or 70's had a similar idea but don't let that put you off. And I am very suprised that it hasn't got more stars than it has already.

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Ong Bak

Ong Bak breathtaking!

(Edit) 14/12/2006

Move over Jackie Chan! Step aside Steven Segal! Even the muscles from Brussels, ol' Jean Claude himself should be ready to hand his crown over too the star of this movie.

Full contact (and yes that includes kicking someone in the mush with his trouser legs on fire!) real glass, real spikes, knives and a band saw and you have a movie whose fight scenes make the most action packed sequences in a Bruce Lee flick, look like the WWE!

It's a simple plot granted, but hey, forget about that, sit back and watch slack jawed as this film delivers blow after blow that will make you wince even as you watch in awe.

I hope Tony Jaa does another movie, and let's pray he doesn't kill himself in the process of doing it! Seriously exciting, exhillerating and wow, I am still in awe. Guess which DVD has now become a late entrant on my X Mas wish list?

0 out of 1 members found this review helpful.