Film Reviews by F15HF1NG3RZ

Welcome to F15HF1NG3RZ's film reviews page. F15HF1NG3RZ has written 15 reviews and rated 361 films.

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In the Earth

It had potential...

(Edit) 24/04/2024

... But some of the casting was so poor. I don't personally think for one second that Joel Fry should be the leading man for a horror film. He is somebody I would use a bumbling comedy character and in fact all I can think of him as is Leyton from Trollied. The other terrible piece of casting was Hayley Squires as the doctor... She was so uninterested in being there and was really dialling the performance in. The way they spoke about "the doctor" throughout the film I was expecting and older, more mysterious woman to be playing the role. Anyway, it was all quite boring apart from the lovely lights and sounds towards the end. Wasn't worth wasting 2hrs on though. Look into a kaleidoscope for 5 minutes and save the hassle.

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Black Box

I didn't read the reviews before renting... And I'm sorry!

(Edit) 19/12/2023

The script, "Characters", dialogue and acting in this film are absolutely atrocious... It's like something off of low budget Playstation game released in 1996! I've watched and enjoyed tons of low budget films, but I lasted half and hour with this before turning it off. The dialogue was completely unrealistic!!! If this had been released in 2023 I'd have presumed the script was written by AI. It might have actually been better if it had been!

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Zeroville

James Franco looks like Pitbull

(Edit) 22/10/2023

I think one of the biggest crimes a film can commit is being uninteresting. On paper this film is anything but that, but the actual film itself just seems to flip flop through scenes and time with no rhyme or reason. There's some full on ham performances, which I'm presuming are intentional but they just fall flat as you've already become uninterested by the time they happen.

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Imperial Blue

Terrible Script - Lovely Sound and Visuals

(Edit) 14/09/2023

Starring possibly one of the most unlikable protagonists in any film of all time - As another review said he was a drug user and low level dealer - So he's not exactly a hero, but he's either being an angry, unlikable moron or he's being a helpless, unlikable selfish junkie! The film frequently looks beautiful, the music is really good too, but the script, pacing and the acting from the main lead is absolutely terrible. Recommended to watch on mute and keep it on in the background for some lovely cinematography.

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The Disaster Artist

I did not hit her. I did not. Oh hi Mark!

(Edit) 23/07/2023

I absolutely loved this film from beginning to end. I had never even heard of The Room when I added this to my Watch List, so I looked into it all when the disk arrived and saw it was actually based on a true story it just made it a million times more hilarious! The Blu Ray has loads of extras on, I sat and watched the whole thing. Loved it. James Franco was spectacular and unrecognisable as Tommy! Watch the whole end credits for the scene of a lifetime at the very end.

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Death of Me

So wooden it will give you splinters!

(Edit) 10/04/2023

One of the worst "horror" films I have seen in a very long time. The script is atrocious, the plot is just a confusing mess around hallucinagenics, the acting isn't much better and is probably on a par with a bad episode of daytime soap Doctors - There's nothing that anyone involved with this film can be proud of except for the cinematographers, as there's some lovely scenery in some shots. The end. Do not waste 90 minutes of your time. You will be bored stiff!

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Absolutely Anything

Excruciating

(Edit) 12/09/2022

I've just watched this tonight after work wanting a nice chilled out laugh. I can honestly say in the whole 85 minutes I did not laugh (or chuckle once). It's a really bizarre film. It's like a children's light action/comedy film, but with swearing. Like Nativity 2, but without Christmas and with F Bombs instead. Sad that this was Robin Williams last acting credit, although he's probably got the best dialogue in the whole film playing a talking dog so that should say it all really.

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IT: Chapter Two

Dull

(Edit) 24/02/2022

Bored me to tears. Turned it off after 1hr 10minutes of getting absolutely nowhere and having had about 3000 flashbacks to the first film. Considering the all Star cast the acting was as wooden as a bad episode of Casualty.

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Antebellum

Get Out (of my DVD player!)

(Edit) 16/11/2021

Billed as behind the people from "Get Out" and "Us" I had really high hopes for Antebellum. I know Janelle Monae is a great actress too, as she is in this film... But nobody (including her) is really given anything to say or do. It feels really disappointing to say this, but it felt like the directors brainstormed 10 good scenes to put into an edgy horror/thriller type of film and then tried to cobble it all together. Aestethic, atmosphere, cast - brilliant. Story telling and plot are all over the place. It really doesn't try and make any sense by the end and descends into complete lunacy. Everyone has their own opinions of films, but I thought this was a sorry waste of time.

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Dead Night

64 minutes too long!

(Edit) 04/10/2021

One of the most tedious "horror" films I have ever watched. Through the medium of some weird, true crime psychic TV show that is powered by a plant in the middle of the woods (!!!) we find out who is killed in the first 15 minutes. It should have been kept as a short story and finished there. I love horror, but I got absolutely NOTHING from watching this hodge podge of badly acted ideas.

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Out of Blue

Wish I'd been strangled by the red scarf.

(Edit) 24/11/2020

I'm currently watching it now (80 mins in)... What a bizarre film! I feel like it's trying to be smarter than it actually is (the main character is a woman called MIKE!!!) There's an overwhelming feeling that most of the time it's trying to be oddball for the sake of being oddball.

Mike has "blackouts" at he most inopportune of times, but it's hard to tell when she's passed out as she's playing the role so sedately.

Some horrendous accents and some of the acting is more wooden than an episode of Casualty, whilst other characters are so overacted you're wondering if they missed out on a role in Mommie Dearest!!!

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Beyond the Gates

Fun, trashy horror

(Edit) 16/07/2020

It was the perfect evening film to watch after a long day at work. Mindless, occasionally gory with a paper thin, predictable plot. I loved it! The main characters absolutely in no way whatsoever were believably brothers. They didn't look alike and were completely wooden, but that was all part of the charm.

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Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

PERFECT POPCORN FILM

(Edit) 13/07/2020

I went into watching this having heard all the awful reviews, so my expectations were pretty low. I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoyed it. Some of the dialogue was witty and amusing, the CGI was particularly fantastic and it was certainly action packed. Go in with zero expectation like me and you'll be pleasantly surprised :-).

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The Veil

90 minute slog!

(Edit) 23/03/2020

The plot in this film is so paper thin I almost put my fingers through it. It was only Jessica Alba and Lily Rabe's names attached that made me want to watch it, but the acting is so wooden that if you look close enough you can see the actors strings!!! If you watch it pretending it's an unintentional comedy then it's much more enjoyable, but it's best you just don't watch it at all.

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Night Hunter

Plot twists aplenty

(Edit) 16/03/2020

It was an enjoyable plod with a good mix of big names in it, but the weird mix of accents was a bit bizarre for the setting of the film.

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