Film Reviews by NP

Welcome to NP's film reviews page. NP has written 1064 reviews and rated 1165 films.

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Switchblade Romance

Twisted slasher from France

(Edit) 08/05/2024

Also known as ‘High Tension’, this is a violent French slasher directed by Alexandre Aja. Two appealing best mates Marie (Cecile De France) and Alex (Maiwenn Le Besco) are visiting Alex’s parents who live in the remote countryside. It’s not a complete surprise when people start getting carved up in some graphic and impressively staged set pieces. That’s the story for most of the film.

For such subject matter, I found the relentless ‘going through the motions’ of such a genre film tough going after a while, and the antagonist is somewhat underwhelming, both in terms of presence and physicality. Just an ordinary, middle-aged man, really.

When filmmakers (or writers of fiction in general) choose to plant a big twist toward the end of a story, it presents a huge risk. For the biggest misfire I’m aware of, we have to travel all the way back to 1935’s ‘Mark of the Vampire’, where all the carefully layered and staged elements that made the viewing experience so delightfully gothic were all undone when a giant revelation ripped the ground from under the audience and destroyed the atmosphere. As far as twists go, I either love them or hate them.

Except for here. The reveal is expertly done, and very well played. And yet as soon as it happens, I wasn’t sure whether it actually made sense or undermined much of what we’d seen thus far. Ultimately, I recommend just going with it. The twist may not stand up to scrutiny, but is undeniably entertaining, and answers as many questions as it poses. My score is 7 out of 10.

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Paganini

Kinski' Paganini

(Edit) 08/05/2024

This film has a less-than-stellar reputation. Paganini is portrayed by Klaus Kinski in his final film; after failing to persuade his best ‘fiend’ Werner Herzog to direct, Kinsi did the job himself, electing to use only natural lighting. The resulting scenes are often obscured because of this. Kinski energetically mimes to the frenzied violin playing of Paganini, with his right hand. In close-ups of the genuine player that are spliced in, the instrument is being played with the left hand. These things, the meandering story, and the tasteless sex scenes between the titular character and a series of underage girls, have been used to berate the film. They don’t bother me that much, particularly the latter, because that was an undeniable element of the character.

What sets my teeth on edge is the consistent use of screeching, choppy violin ‘music’ throughout the 81-minute runtime. Of course that was the sound Paganini was known for. Of course it represents his genius and torment (traits Kinski seized upon when he made the film, probably because of the similarities between them both). But it’s present all the time, as a backdrop to all the varied emotional moments. What makes Paganini’s final, and very powerful, scenes so effective is the comparative silence in which they are represented.

By this time in his life, as the Blu-ray extras attest at length, Kinski felt he was spent, that he ‘did not exist’, and this exacerbated his extreme behaviour (one commentator tells how every morning, after checking his make-up, the star would smash the mirror, explaining the reflection only has the right to see his image once). I’m not sure whether no one wanted to work with him at this stage, or he wouldn’t listen to advice anyway. Whatever, this film cries out for additional eyes during production, a more restrained voice.

‘Paganini’, or ‘Kinski Paganini’ has many fine moments. Much of the superb location is well captured, the period and settings are well realised, many of the performances are very good (Kinski’s son Nikolai in particular) and there’s no denying that Klaus the actor was a force of nature, and delivers a final bombastic performance. It could just have benefitted from a less grating soundtrack. My score is 6 out of 10.

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Cool It Carol!

The Dirtiest Girl I Ever Met

(Edit) 08/05/2024

As I write these words, ‘Cool it, Carol!’, directed by Pete Walker who is perhaps better known for his horror films, is close to its silver anniversary. It’s sobering to remember that 25 years before the film came out, World War 2 had just come to an end.

A lot changes in 25 years. This story, sometimes known as ‘The Dirtiest Girl I Ever Met’ stars Janet Lynn as the titular strumpet – and she isn’t a strumpet at all. Demure, shy even, she tells her wannabe boyfriend Joe (Robin Asquith) that she just doesn’t see sex as a big deal. This comes in handy when the two of them try to make their fortune in London. In other circumstances, Joe becoming her pimp and managing her earnings might portray him as a bit of a git, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

We’re never really witnesses to the various sex acts, but rather Joe’s reaction as a number of old men disappear into the bedroom with Carol. When she wanders out after it’s over for a nice cup of tea, she’s not remotely fazed by the ordeal.

Based on real-life events, this slice of exploitation is both naïve and eye-watering in its depiction of the ambitions of these young people, both of whom are well portrayed.

While Askwith became a household name with a series of bawdy comedies, Lynn settled down to a life of domesticity away from the cameras. Jess Conrad, Stubby Kaye and DJ Pete Murray bolster the cast with a series of cameos.

I found this an enjoyable slice of what is now ‘period drama’. My score is 7 out of 10.

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Vampira

Old Dracula

(Edit) 08/05/2024

Vampira is a boring film that without its terrific cast would likely be unwatchable. For a horror/comedy, there’s nothing remotely creepy about any of the set pieces and only a smattering of lukewarm jokes.

David Niven injects a lot of charm into the character of Dracula, scurrying through his lines, and Teresa Graves is beguiling as his resurrected wife Vampira. That the subsequent merriment is based on the fact that Vampira has become non-Caucasian as a result of a blood mix-up, the results could have been a lot more awkward. Whilst the humour is always treading water (except at the end), it is never mean-spirited, just not very funny.

And that’s the problem. Events roll on and on, with only a familiar face cropping up every so often to sustain any interest. Written by Jeremy Lloyd, who with David Croft co-wrote many successful UK sitcoms, ‘Vampira’ suggests that Croft might have been the funny one. My score is 3 out of 10.

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The Violent Professionals

Smashing cult drama

(Edit) 08/05/2024

‘The Violent Professionals’ – originally known in its native Italy as ‘Milano trema: la polizia vuole giustizia’ – is a riot from start to finish. After a frenzied first few minutes, in which characters either dispatch or are dispatched with shocking regularity, you can hardly blame smouldering ‘tec Giorgio (Luc Merenda) for wanting to walk away. Except he doesn’t – he becomes one of those maverick cops who doesn’t play by the rules. You know the type. But he does it with a scowl and a pout that makes his journey irresistible.

The pace doesn’t slacken; each set piece is meticulously orchestrated and directed (by ever-reliable Sergio Martino). If it occurs to you that some parts of this twisting, complex story might be a little improbable, the violence and car chases make it easy just to go with it: it’s one heck of a ride, and I had a lot of fun for the entire 95 minutes. Terrific. My score is 8 out of 10.

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Flesh for Frankenstein

Andy Warhol's Frankenstein

(Edit) 11/03/2024

Paul Morrissey, best known for his association with notorious pop artist Andy Warhol, writes and directs this adaption of Mary Shelley’s famous monster yarn. Arguably, the monster in this version is the driven Baron Von Frankenstein, played by the excellent Udo Kier. He wants to create an artificial couple to mate and produce an army that will obey his commands. Nothing understated there then, and that includes Kier’s performance which is rich, wide-eyed and convincingly insane. In an interview, Kier admitted his command of English was shaky at the time; he wasn’t aware of what a gall bladder was – the most famous line in the film ‘to know life, you first have to **** death in the gall bladder’ no longer quite has the same impact!

Meant to shock as a priority, the film’s release was originally released in 3D, hence much is made of bloody body parts appearing to pour out of the screen. Some moments are revolting, and the mix of sex, death, dissection and necrophilia is heady. The open-ended finale is frustrating – especially for Srdjan Zelenovic!

Acting is variable. Monique van Vooren is effective as Baroness Katrin Frankenstein, as is writer, model and actress Dalila Di Lazzaro as the nameless silent female ‘monster’. The Baron’s two children witness much of the gore, especially in the latter stages of the story; I'm sure that such a thing wouldn’t happen nowadays. Surely someone somewhere would be offended on behalf of the juveniles. It didn’t do young Nicoletta Elmi (Monica) any harm. Elmi appeared in many Mario Bava and Dario Argentino thrillers throughout the ‘70s and ‘80s and was a familiar face even here, at the age of 9.

Frequently grotesque and surprisingly dull in places, but featuring a musical score (by Claudio Gizzi) that is often breathtakingly gorgeous, Flesh for Frankenstein is nevertheless a must-see if you are a horror film fan. My score is 7 out of 10.

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The Exorcist: Believer

Not that bad .... not that good

(Edit) 11/03/2024

It takes verve to helm a sequel/reboot to a film so horrific and controversial that it was banned for over 10 years in the UK. To match it in terms of reputation, you might have to risk making something so frightening that it runs the risk of being banned for a further 10 years. Either that or offer something new to the franchise.

David Gordon Green, who directed the recent Halloween Trilogy, has bitten the bullet and gone with this. At the time of writing, any hopes he had of handling a further planned trilogy – or if there will be a trilogy at all – are up in the air; Exorcist Believer has met with hostile reviews and disappointing box office receipts.

Making a mainstream film that genuinely shocks people is, in my view, near impossible these days, when people are encouraged to be offended by so many things. Also, a big company like Universal would doubtless like as wide a demographic as possible for this, so nothing too hostile has been allowed. In other words, the project was doomed before it started. Nothing compares to the original. Even as far back as 1977, and the first ill-fated sequel, something entirely different was produced. At least, if you’ll forgive me, that had balls; this doesn’t really.

We go through familiar Exorcist beats here. The concept has been the subject of many possession films over the years, some a good deal worse than this, and others rather better. It’s a mixed bag to be sure. The two girls at the centre of it all play their roles as well as they can be expected to do, but their progressive make-up is increasingly silly, and we cease to know them in the way we got to know Regan all these decades ago. Equally, there’s something vaguely comical when we have them both going through the throes of their possession, all tongues and grimacing, like a pair of gurning cabbage patch kids. That said, often in these kinds of chillers, ‘troubled’ children come across as petulant and pandered to – at least we’re spared that.

Of the two families, widower Victor Fielding (Leslie Odom Jr.) isn’t easy to warm to. Not very neighbourly, and not very considerate to anyone other than his daughter Angela (Lidya Jewett), it’s only through his suffering do we have any empathy for him. The second girl, Katherine West (Olivia O'Neill) is less central to things, and her parents are virtually superfluous to events.

Things begin promisingly as the two youngsters venture into a forest to perform a séance to contact Angela’s dead mother, and are not seen for three days. When they do turn up, they display increasing symptoms of possession. After this, things lose their way a bit as more characters are introduced – including Chris MacNeil (Ellen Burstyn) from the original, who has a sticky time of it, mainly due to Victor’s extraordinary decision to allow the 90-year-old woman to face the horrors alone. The resultant exorcism is drawn out and follows the beats of the original, but far less effectively.

I don’t think this production is anywhere as near as bad as some say; neither is it particularly good. There’s a chance that, like the Halloween Trilogy, future instalments would add elements to make this Chapter One of a far more fulfilling experience, but as a standalone film, Exorcist: Believer is a victim, not of demonic possession, but of mainstream cinema’s apparent inability to make anything truly unnerving for fear upsetting people in today’s fragile world.

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Here Comes the Devil

He's waiting ...

(Edit) 11/03/2024

‘Here Comes the Devil’, or to give it its Mexican title ‘Ahí va el diablo’, is a splendidly disturbing story about a couple who manage to lose their adolescent children Sara (Michele Garcia) and Adolfo (Alan Martinez). This comes after a prologue where a serial killer disappears amidst a body of caves, exactly where the siblings go missing.

What follows is a slow-moving chiller that grows more uneasy as it goes. There are few obvious scares, but when they come, they are surprisingly gory. The deliberately erratic camerawork and pulsing, ambient incidental score both contribute to this, giving the film a real sense of its own identity, despite comparisons with various other 'possessed children' tales.

Perfectly normal landscapes and locations look increasingly sinister, and the entrance to the cave has an almost vulva-like appearance, which is fitting given the suggested sexual flavour this possession has.

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Wrath of Dracula

Enjoyable low budget chiller ...

(Edit) 11/03/2024

Mark Topping plays a hesitantly spoken chauvinistic Van Helsing, and Hannaj Bang Bendz is a resilient, modern-looking Mina Harker in this wordy adaption of Bram Stoker’s most famous story. The project is helmed by prolific writer/director Steve Lawson, the man behind the equally dialogue-driven ‘Jekyll and Hyde’, ‘Ripper Untold’ and ‘Mummy Resurrection’ among others, all released over the last few years. He specialises in modestly budgeted productions, alongside Creativ Studios who maintain that the limited number of sets and locations look good.

Films like this are an acquired taste. Some reviewers seem offended by the static style of such productions, but they are obviously successful enough to continue. I rather like them – they are invariably well-acted and the stories are interestingly told. This is an adaption that creates an even bigger enemy than Sean Cronin’s bullet-headed Count – sexism against women. Mina, always glamorous and confident, interrupts her vampire hunting, where she’s hoping to rescue Dean Marshall’s wet hubby Harker, to explain how able women generally are, and how the world seems designed to undermine them, often with a raised eyebrow; Van Helsing can only bow his head in quiet agreement.

Some of the action sequences don’t work, but other than that, this is up to the usual standard of Steve Lawson’s productions. It won’t appeal to everyone. But what it does, it does well. The performances are very good (there’s a real sense of menace and power from Cronin’s Dracula) and the adaption is thoughtfully told. Interestingly, a series of out-takes play under the end credits. My score is 7 out of 10.

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The Stranger

Spoilers follow ...

(Edit) 01/12/2016

This mournful, moody horror story from Chile seems to have slipped under the radar a little. Written and directed by Guillermo Amoedo, it features drifter Martin (Cristobal Tapia Montt). His wife is dead, and he has no apparent concern for his own continued existence. Co-produced by Eli Roth, 'The Stranger' moves at such a pace, that there's no time to feel mournful although the ultimate tone of the piece is melancholy indeed.

It's a cleverly and carefully constructed story in which nothing happens without a reason. Lieutenant De Luca (Luis Gnecco) is a villain of some merit, so unapologetically evil, that you're willing the very worst for him. I'm loathe to say any more for fear of spoiler - this is a film that really should be approached with no prior knowledge. Brutal, bloody and bleak: my score is 8 out of 10.

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Satan's Blood

Escalofrio!

(Edit) 01/12/2016

It can be awkward when we are approached by a couple who swear they know us and we haven't a clue who they are. It must be a good deal worse if we accompany these people to their home to 'catch up' and we realise they are a couple of perverted demon worshippers who have some very grisly plans. This is exactly what happens to Andres (José María Guillén) and his pregnant wife Ana (Marianna Karr). Pretty soon their lives have taken on an extraordinary turn for the worse.

Directors Carlos Puerto and (an uncredited) Juan Piquer Simón make sure we're just as unnerved and anxious as the unfortunate pair. True to its 'euro-sleaze' trappings, the foreboding atmosphere is heavily punctuated with lingering scenes of sex that drag things down a little - but developments come thick and fairly fast. It's a tension-filled rollercoaster and a good way to spend 82 minutes.

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Sherlock Holmes: The Scarlet Claw

New thrills! New terror!

(Edit) 01/12/2016

When you consider this was directed by Roy William Neill, who helmed Universal films 'Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman', it's perhaps not too surprising 'The Scarlet Claw' is rich in horror detail. All the Universal flourishes are there - and a lot of the cast will be familiar too. This for me remains one of the best Sherlock Holmes films, although some cheats are provided to make sure we don't guess who the killer is.

We have it all - American cockneys, mist-layered streets, a local tavern full of weathered faces and scowls, and Watson (Nigel Bruse) unable to keep his mouth shut. He is a buffoon, and it makes you wonder why a man of Sherlock Holmes's brilliance tolerates him, but for this viewer at least, he's a great character; we get to witness the master detective's eccentricities through him, his distance and aloofness. If Watson was not around, we'd be hard-pressed to find a character to relate to in these stories. A pain in the neck he may sometimes be, but a necessary one. And there's a genuine warmth between them - off-screen as well; the only argument they ever had was when Basil Rathbone (still the definitive sleuth) decided to give up the role.

I'm still not sure the revelation of the villain isn't a slight disappointment, mainly due to the lack of subtlety by the actor in question, but other than that this is top-notch stuff. Best enjoyed on an autumn evening with a cup of something warm. My score is 8 out of 10.

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Do Not Disturb

Spoilers follow ...

(Edit) 21/07/2016

Ever since, or perhaps even before, 1960 classic 'Psycho' extolled the horrific virtues of a motel as a venue for horror, the home-from-home has proven an effective place in which terrifying, sometimes unworldly things can happen.

Eccentric writer Don Malek (a terrific performance from Stephen Geoffreys), is torturing his boss in a bathtub filled with ice cubes. It's as good an introduction as any, especially in an off-kilter film like this. We're given no clue as to why this is going on. Director BC Fourteen is in no hurry to reassure us with anything so mundane as an explanation. Malek feels the hotel surroundings will be beneficial to his writing.

Fourteen's style is to people this picture with a variety of acerbic, curious characters, none of whom offer any reassurance, and none of whom are keen to endear themselves to the audience. Thus what we are left with are the stained walls of the hotel, the strained relationships. As Malek leaves the cocoon of the awful residence, he comes across Jasper Crash (a brief cameo from Corey Hiam), another very odd addition to the cast, complete with a dreadful English accent.

Not an easy watch in places, the weirdness of it all provides a palpably eccentric atmosphere for Malek and his murky motives. If it fails to grab you immediately, stick with it. My score is 7 out of 10.

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Mutants

Spoilers follow ...

(Edit) 12/02/2016

There's an unrelenting grimness about this zombie story. After a while, as much as you are drawn to the central characters, I find myself willing them simply to end it all, so desperate is their situation, so desperately unhappy are any of their options in this new, icy world.

But Marco and Sonia (Francis Renaud and Hélène de Fougerolles) are made of sterner stuff than I am. Also, to add to their complications, they are expecting a child. As the sombreness is piled on, the unforgiving punishments these characters - and others - endure, 'Mutants' is in danger of becoming very one-note, with no let up in misery.

As the publicity maintains, 'Extinction is just a heartbeat away'. And all because of human greed. An enjoyable low-key tale of gore and desperation, of betrayal and false hope. Sombre indeed. My score is 7 out of 10.

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The Abandoned

Spoilers follow ...

(Edit) 04/05/2016

Julia Streak (Louisa Krause) plays a rookie security guard initiated on her first shift by the wholly obnoxious Cooper. As an embittered, well-practised sex pest, Jason Patric plays him to perfection. When mildly creepy things begin to occur in the vast building they are guarding, it is irresistible to wish the worst for him.

Many things happen. We learn about Streak's past and that there is more to her than we realised. We also get to grips with the true monster Cooper has become. We also learn about the history of the building which, as you will imagine, is ripe with a dark past and nasty, secrets with ongoing, supernatural effects.

The story is hardly new, but that's okay. Sometimes if a chilling atmosphere is conveyed well, it's a familiar chill to go through it all again. Director and co-writer Nacho Cerdà certainly gives us reason to be chilled as events become more horrific and at times, genuinely moving. There are also enough character moments and set-pieces that allow 'The Abandoned' its own breathing space. My score is 7 out of 10.

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