Film Reviews by RM

Welcome to RM's film reviews page. RM has written 21 reviews and rated 21 films.

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Guardian of the Universe

No it's not that film.

(Edit) 23/08/2019

Not to be confused with guardians of the galaxy, the successful franchise this rubbish is trying to sit on the back of. The film quality is truly awful as is the "acting" and story line almost as bad as the mad scientists fake beard. This is really one to miss..... By a mile!

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

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Fisherman's Friends

Feel good fun!

(Edit) 19/07/2019

A very entertaining story of a bunch of ordinary Cornish shanty singers brought to life in a tongue in cheek telling of their discovery. This is one film where the locations can easily be visited, from Port Isaac village to St, James the Great Church St. Kew. There's even a cameo appearance by celebrity chef Nathan Outlaw who has a restaurant in the village. probably not one for the Oscars but super performances by the whole cast, you can even play "spot the original fishermen's friends" who appear in the film.

A well told if rather quaint story.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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All Is True

Bland, and tedious throughout.

(Edit) 16/06/2019

""All Is True" explores the human story behind a dark and little known period in the life of William Shakespeare."

The thing about "little known" is you can make up whatever you want, to say this is "All is true" is basically a lie, they could have done far better, Shakespeare Vs vampires? or Abducted by aliens? would have been crass but at least entertaining. But they decided to make a film about nothing very much at all. I was going to say this film was boring but this goes beyond that it's just bland a kind of Elizabethan soap where very little happens apart from day to day life dragging on.

This really is another Branagh self indulgence production, dragging the usual luvvies out of the toy chest.

I'm dismayed that this was penned by Ben Elton, he really is better than this and should have stopped at Upstart Crow, at least being a comedy there was his wit to entertain us, this isn't entertaining, it's the diary of a retired old sod who does what a lot of retirees do, he took up gardening, and boy it was like watching paint dry.

This isn't history, but made up non history. I guess a kind of fake news that no one will be interested in.

1 out of 5 members found this review helpful.

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Stan and Ollie

One for the Oscars? It certainly is!

(Edit) 16/06/2019

It baffles me that John C Reilly, could do such a rubbish film like Holmes and Watson (dragged down by Will Ferrell) then immediately follow it with something as brilliant as Stan and Ollie its amazing as he could have been left with a ruined career without this masterpiece!

This film shows you don't need Hollywood A listers to make a great film. Steve Coogan also has proved himself to be the steering force of the duo as Stan who off camera proves to be the strong force behind the duo whilst Ollie in life is shown to be floundering, miss-directed and weak willed.

this is a strong and moving tale of the odd couple as they attempt to cling on to the fame they once had. The show must go on attitude at the end of the film is moving and shows Ollie's final realisation and redemption. Photography was first class as were the costumes, direction, script in fact forget best film this one ought to sweep the board!

4 out of 4 members found this review helpful.

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Red Hot Chili Peppers: In Their Own Words

Pure documetery NO music

(Edit) 24/04/2019

What a load of self indulgent cr*p, with a boredom factor to induce suicide, I kept on thinking there must be at least a little music to break the monotony, but it never came. Just a load of what we did at school etc. etc. etc.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

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The Meg

what the heck is a "creejure"?

(Edit) 14/12/2018

what the heck is a "creejure"? This sounds like another unknown actor cheepo worse than "B" film that doesn't deserve to waste the planets resources by being pressed as a DVD. Why Cinema Paradiso do you insist in listing rubbish like this? Is it because there are no decent releases to populate my list with?

1 out of 6 members found this review helpful.

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Curse of the Nun

This is NOT The Nun

(Edit) 24/10/2018

I had the misfortune to see 10 minuets of this rip off on a flight, it's blatantly attempting to ride on the back of The Nun that is not due for release till later this year. Surprise surprise lots of blood and bad acting, poorly directed. I gave up without any hope of this movie getting any better, very glad I didn't pay for the privilege.

Please Cinema Paradiso either stop pushing this type of rip off rubbish, or create a sub section dedicated to them alone, I could supply you a list of what to add.

0 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Book Club

Brilliant and witty

(Edit) 24/10/2018

What a fun film this was to watch, about a group of women growing old disgracefully. First class performances from a lot of established actors, lots of semi-cameos from the men they dated, and more than funny scenes with brilliant innuendo and naughtiness.

Don't watch this film if you are easily offended by sexual content, although this romp gets away with a lot of "rude" references it does it with a clever script well acted. The dialogue referring to a motor cycle/sex act is a gem!

3 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

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Postcards from the 48%

Horrid un democratic tripe

(Edit) 01/10/2018

Should be retitled "Selfish un democratic rich idiots". The vote to leave the EU was a fair and democratic one why can't these remoaners accept we are leaving the EU that's the way the vote went, you cannot keep going back to the people time after time till you get the result you want.

Geldof is an Irish citizen, why the hell should he have a say in what the UK want. Patrick Stewart so loyal to the UK he lives in Michigan, Miriam Margolis so loyal to the UK she became an Australian citizen in 2013 why should they have a say, same as any ex-pat if you love the UK so much you need it to remain in the EU, why do you live abroad?

sorry but this tripe is the very essence of political insecurity, to all who have appeared in this selfish display of anti democracy get over it!

9 out of 11 members found this review helpful.

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Singularity

No new ideas here then.

(Edit) 21/06/2018

what was the writers plan here, possibly watch the most well known AI taking over the world type films and rip off the best bits and reproduce them badly? Well if that was the plan it was a success!

Here's a notion to ponder, Carmen has a smart phone that is used for GPS to find Aurora, why didn't she just google map it? Or dial 118 and ask for their number and call them up for directions. How come the bad guys didn't just use her GPS signal to follow her instead of building a "human robot" who didn't know he was a robot (where have I seen that before, oh yes Terminator Salvation) at obviously considerable effort. But the best and most puzzling part.................................. After 90 years where the hell did she plug the damn thing in to charge it???????

apart from that, after 90 years how come the lawns outside the building get to be trimmed, and why were the several paths that they ran down not over grown?

Life's full of mysteries , one of them is why did I waste my time watching this poorly produced tripe till the end?

I would have added a spoiler alert, but there was no point, the director has already spoilt it enough!

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Early Man

Spot on, even if you don't like football

(Edit) 10/06/2018

Really enjoyed this animation, full of gags with excellent characters, a great bit of timing being World cup year this film is full of good philosophy "You are a football team, they are great players but not a team", and the concept of fair play is shown really well. Good feel good film!

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Detroit

Just ploding on

(Edit) 04/02/2018

One plucked story line from a series of events that really says nothing but there are bad racist cops, and even the blacks turn a blind eye.

I'm afraid once the premise that a group of young men are being tormented and brutalised was established it really went nowhere. How John Boyega got involved with this second rate film I can't imagine, he stands by whilst the guys are tortured, gets arrested and thrown into the holding cell, then we don't see him till he's sitting in the court room, as the only good actor in the film it's surprising he wasn't used more. This could have been a good film, but so poorly written and directed it didn't stand a chance.

4 out of 6 members found this review helpful.

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Yello: Live in Berlin

Young meets old!

(Edit) 29/01/2018

Great to see the old Yello on stage and the young Yello on the screen, I didn't believe that the Yello style could transform to an on stage performance but it did really well! All the old favourites, they crammed a lot of tracks into this concert. Well done guys!

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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The Dark Tower

interesting fantisy

(Edit) 29/01/2018

I really enjoyed this one, Idris Elbe and Tom Taylor really jelled to make a great double act despite the age and culture difference between them, Matthew McConaughey made a really "bad" baddy with (spoiler) one nasty power that literally took your breath away.

Great plot based around alternative universes and time and space / dimensional travel. I would never have guessed it was a Steven King story.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

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IT

Goonies with blood

(Edit) 24/01/2018

Not too sure about IT I was waiting for a cushion clutching horror, instead it seemed more like the goonies meet leatherface, if that was the aim then fair enough. But as an out and out adult horror film, IT was an epic fail. The kids were a bunch of motor mouthed (difficult to hear dialogue) trans pubescents with less common sense than the typical "don't lock the door with the axe murderer in doors" movie cast. They seem to me to be more terrorised by the bunch of town bullies than the clown.

Problem here is the age range it was written for can't actually watch it due to the certification. So I've had to give IT a rather sad two stars.

3 out of 3 members found this review helpful.
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