Film Reviews by AER

This is Rise of the Footsoldier 6! Craig Fairbrass' signature role of the late (not so great) Pat Tate shows no sign of wilting. For this fifth sequel he goes it alone without Terry Stone (Tony Tucker) or Roland Manookian (Craig Rolfe), so there's no silly wigs to laugh at. Surely that makes it an improvement. Well, this one is probably 100% fabrication and is inspired by revenge flicks like Get Carter, The Equalizer and a dozen Liam Neeson flicks. It's better for it, but I did wonder why such decent actors as Stephen McCole and Tara Fitzgerald show up in pretty thankless supporting roles - surely life isn't that hard!? You will chuckle at the ending which revolves around a mysterious unseen character dusting down a Landrover to show no trace of fingerprints. It's like that spot the celebrity bit from A QUESTION OF SPORT as it's set to Lynard Skynard's Free Bird. The film is lame, but it gets two stars because it's an improvement on the last four films (and that's not saying much). I wonder what the real Essex Boys would say if they saw these films. Please let this be the last one - it's getting like Police Academy. Craig Fairbrass is a decent actor... Someone help him out with a good role!!! If you are a fan of his, watch MUSCLE (instead).

Also I was confused. Where in the cycle does this film sit? People that were shot to death appear at the end of the film? Is it a flashback or does this one slot in between ep, 3 and 4? Whatever.

This South Korean ghost story could have been better if it was more focussed. However, it left this viewer as bewildered and frightened as the soldiers caught in the maze of ghosts and military ordnance. The location works and the actors sell the premise well-enough but I spent too much time asking 'what just happened and to whom'. Shame as it could've been awesome.

Loved this small-scale slice of life film about a teen and his single-mum over the course of a summer break. I could really relate to the realistic humour and exchanges between Monica Dolan and Earl Cave. It may not change your world, but if you are sick of boring UK films about pensioners making mischief or Hollywood's endless parade of SFX soup films then this is what you want. It reminded me of Mike Leigh or the recent SWEETHEART (starring Jo Hartley).

Recommended.

Whilst this better than the previous Day of the Dead film starring Mena Suvari and Ving Rhames, this sequel (?) is still cheap and in search of a better plot. Whilst you're left scratching your head wondering why one of the zombies seems to be able to talk and resist the urge to feed for half the running time (there is an explanation), you're also wondering how these characters have survived so long given how stupid they are. The lead doctor Zoe (Sophie Skelton) takes huge risks at the expense of her fellow refugees in the name of science. And when a rapist zombie obsessively tracks her to the base, she finds he has the antibodies to save people from turning into a rotter. But the amount of people she gets killed, there's virtually nobody left to save. It's kinda fun though and that's because you'll probably enjoy shouting at the TV at how moronic they all are and how crap the dialogue is. Jonathon Schaeh (THAT THING YOU DO) played the rapist zombie to good effect but this one is still UnDOA.

Unlike the current Hollywood cycle of Godzilla movies, this film is lively with great action sequences. Some thought has gone into the make up of the plot and how the beleaguered Japanese took down the atomic monster, Godzilla / Gojira. Characters with convincing arcs lead the way (even though the story telling is very basic) and the script is written in broadstrokes (English subtitles). It's dramatic, the SFX are astounding at times (but not perfect), and the destruction has weight to it - so in other words, it's not as if you are watching a paper-light animation. I've seen the 90s Godzilla and the Gareth Edwards borefest. This was just right. A Godzilla film set during an interesting time and with some food for thought about post-war Japan and how it rebuilt after the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings.

This is the Godzilla film, we've been waiting for. I'm glad the Japanese have finally wrestled Godzilla back from the Americans and done it right. Something similar happened when the French made their first movie about the Three Musketeers earlier this year (2023).

7 out of 10

Here is how I rank the current Saw films Top to bottom

Saw 1

Saw III

Saw X

Jigsaw (Saw VIII)

Saw IV

Saw II

Saw V

SawVI

Saw VII

Spiral (Saw IX)

This Flatliners remake/sequel was dead before it got made. The cast don't have a pulse, the script is rotting in the grave, and the pace is shambling. The original is very of it's time but it's still has lots of thrills and committed performances and lots of emotion. Sadly, this re-do is soulless, dead behind the eyes and pointless. How they made such a cool premise so boring is a mystery. Kiefer Sutherland (the nominal lead from the original) turns up as a different character, so perhaps this isn't a sequel. Sad to report that this was boring and suffers from a largely uncommitted cast who make their characters look like self-entitled idiots. They even muddle the afterlife / repentance aspect - it's pretty muddy and confused (and unscary). The SFX are unimaginative too - all glitches and slo-mo neon. This needed fresh ideas.

DOA 2 out of 10

Frantic begins with an intriguing mystery - while on holiday, a man's wife vanishes from their hotel? Where did she go? Did she run away? Was she kidnapped? Did she simply get lost in the city? Well, we've been here before (or is that since?) - while the film is watchable, as the riddle gets untangled, the story becomes less interesting and the plot more ridiculous. In the end, films like this ended up starring Liam Neeson. It's nice to see Paris in the 80s, and Grace Jones' music gets a lot of plays. Other than that, it stands up better than a lot of big 80s films, but what was probably once seen as sophisticated, doesn't dazzle anymore. There's a very nice scramble on rooftops which is memorable, and a decent score by Ennio Morricone too. MOR thrills and some good performances from all (in the 80s larger than life style).

High concept / low energy. Sadly, this great premise very loosely inspired by a real-life occurence, a bear takes cocaine and goes on a rampage killing all in its path, is wasted. It's a shame because it could have been lots of fun but it is let down by poor creature FX, unsure performances, and the decision to graft the mad bear on a series of uninspiring plot threads. It certainly has its moments but this is largely a curio that is a miss and not even a near miss. Shame as it had the potential to be the maddest film of 2023. Goodbye to Ray Liotta, in his last completed film role. I'd like to think he had lots of make up on because he looks severely ill in this.

Not enough bite. Disappointing.

This one exploits ill feelings toward the youth of time (2007-2008) trumpeted in some of more conservative and fear-mongering newspapers. A pretty couple go to a reservoir for some quality time and find themselves hounded by a bunch of chavs lead by Jack O'Connell. It taps into very real fears that speaking out can get you into situations where you are physcially out of your depth. Very quickly things violently escalate and events propel themselves towards a horrible open-ending. In an increasingly segregated right-wing UK this film pre-empted the siren call to stay in our lane, ot this is what will happen to you.

Nice early film for Kelly Reilly, Michael Fassbender, Jack O'Connell, and Thomas Turdgoose.

How can a film that tries to up the ante on Jaws fail to be at all thrilling? I don't know, but Shark Night did everything wrong. Bad SFX (that were 3D in cinemas), terrible characterisation, unconvincing kill scenes, and ridiculous baddies. I've seen some of the cast in other films (sometimes good films) but David R Ellis of Snakes on a Plane and Final Diestination (sequels) fame doesn't deliver on one single promise. This is dead in the water. More sharks less horror. How did that happen? Joshua Leonard from the Blair Witch Project has a supporting role and he's terrible (is it his fault?) - Blair Witch should have kept him under wraps.

Toothless.

The only good thing about Screamers 2 is the creature FX. The only person capable of acting in this film shows up for under 10 minutes at the ending (Lance Henriksen - Falling, Aliens, Dead Man). Everything else just serves to make the so-so original (starring Peter Weller) feel like a masterpiece. Stealing from films such as Aliens, and Starship Troopers this has no ideas of its own. All interest has been cribbed from the first film, and the twists are well-telegraphed. It's badly acted, poorly plotted and populated by characters who make verrrrry stupid and erratic decisions. Why Lance Henriksen signed on to appear in this bog-blocker is anyone's guess (even his lines are dyslexic) - 'If he killed himself, it wasn't suicide...' huh? I doubt anyone will ever read this review, because there are about 4 people on earth that know this film exists (even the cast don't know it exists) - so I leave this review as a lone probe into internet space hoping someone picks up my signal... It reads - 'don't watch this!' It's all second hand parts.

1 out of 10 - rusty

So many friends have asked me over the years 'have you seen Hot Rod? It's soooo hilarious!' My friends are sometimes right, sometimes they are wrong. They were kinda right this time, it was hilarious but for other people. It had it's moments but mostly I wasn't moved. I did like the co-c-c-cool beans and some of the more surreal aspects of it though, like the kickboxing sandwiches.

To OTT for me, like torrtally dood. Funky Fresh.

This full-length version Thanksgiving based on Eli Roth's fake trailer made for Grindhouse (2007) isn't as inventive as the trailer made out, or half as gross-out as the 'original'. Grafted to a standard revenge template, this features teens vs a masked murderer who in the run up to Thanksgiving has a axe to bury in people's heads. The killer is very easy to pin in this whodunnit and it runs it's rails very close to the style and tone of the Scream films. It's very watchable but offers nothing new, where in fact it could've been more creative based on what the fake trailer (and it's own trailer) promised us. Where was Michael Biehn from the fake trailer! Wish he'd have been in it. Instead we got Patrick Bateman this time around.

Thanksfornothing.... :)

By far, Saw 7 - The Final Chapter is the worst of the sequels. It's only a bit better than SPIRAL (Chris Rock's fan-made spin-off). It ends up chasing its tail creating polt holes galore in its wake. What promised to sew up the original run of films forever just left us with more impossible questions to answer. The return of key played Dr Gordon (Cary Elwes) is a waste of time and doesn't add any intrigue and there's no reason for Hoffman's endless psychotic bloodbath. Vol.7 killed the franchise of with bad acting, no new ideas and a thin plot. Jigsaw was better (purer) and Saw X was something of a return to form after the low points of 5, 6, and 7 (maybe 8) and SPIRAL....

Saw bore