Film Reviews by JD

Welcome to JD film reviews page. JD has written 28 reviews and rated 34 films.

Horrible film

This is terrible stuff. Right from the start this is the sort of film that has you routing for the bad guys.

The hero team are an unlikable, uninteresting bunch. Mark W's Character taking the biscuit by just being incredibly annoying. And pointless.

The film could be saved by the action tho. No.

Gun fights are predictable and boring. Poorly directed, edited and shot.

But never fear, some asian guy who knows martial arts is brought in for some chop soki action. No there to. The action - as is all the action in the film made near unwatchable (as in make me feel motion sick) with the shaky cam and constant cuts to hide the fact the director doesnt know what he is doing and none of the actors know how to fight or shoot. I feel sorry for the Asian guy as it looks like he might be half good.

this is a truly dire film. But worse still seems to be the pattern these days. Diversity, marketing opportunities and a big hollywood name are what sells films it seems. Not realistic, believable, exciting action.

Ah, but wait, there is one good thing about this film. The ending, and im not being sarcastic. If you make it to near the end, hang it out. It brought a smile to face and the word 'Winner' sprung to mind. If only they could of put it into a decent film.

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  • I found this review:

slow, dark, miserable and highly unlikely.

Certainly a film to split opinion this one.

Its all extremely unrealistic and unlikely. The person who directed clearly had no idea how guns work or any basic understanding of logistics. Even the single fist fight is like 'uh, ok im going along with this... but..'

Its also incredibly slow and the death count vs cast is silly, although clearly done to try and pull on those emotions. Its no better than an old predictable horror.

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  • I found this review:

Not up to the hype

As the first half hour dragged through i thought id check out IMDB.

I thought id found the wrong film, it was full of 90-100% marks!

A quick read of a couple it just sounds like peer pressure. Someone said the slowness made it a great horror so everyone jumped on board.

Fact is this is just like any half decent horror, only spread out far slower and longer than it needs to be. The first 90minutes has you wondering if this is just some family drama and you mis read the horror bit on the synopsis.

It doesnt really explain whats happening either. And no, this isnt so you use your imagination - its just lazy writing and directing.

Yes, half of what you need is explained at the end in the part of the film that actually moves at a decent pace. But there are still lots of bits that would not only be interesting to know but add some more depth and interest to the film.

Im giving it 3 stars tho, as a horror its not bad. It could of been much better if it was sped up and added a bit more depth.

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  • I found this review:

so full of holes it drowns

Great monsters, and some ok ideas.

But, the plot holes are scattered like craters on the moon.

It looks like who ever wrote or directed this had no idea how to string ideas into a cohesive plot.

I know films you sometimes need to leave your brain at the door, but in such cases the film needs to avoid making you think. And thats a big mistake here, it has you thinking and as soon as that happens it falls to pieces.

Its also very slow moving, which is another mistake - your sat thinking about why it makes no sense even more.

And of course all this means its all very, very predictable.

Probably worth watching for the monsters, but prepare to be disappointed.

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  • I found this review:

What is this?

This is a truley terrible film if compared to the original. Infact its the worst of any Predator films by a very long way.

Im wondering if shane black was trying to do something a bit different. With the kid, female scientist, friendly 'dog', misfits etc maybe it was an attempt to redirect Predator into something more 'today'.

But thats not a good thing, plus the film still stinks like a Yautja's armpit.

and how useless are the 'bad guys'. Im thinking the odd postman comment by the kid was related to everyones day job. As they certainly werent from any armed forces!

I was willing to give this film the benefit of the doubt. But no, dont watch it.

And the end? what on earth is that final scene?

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  • I found this review:


I recently re-watched the original stars and one thing stood out. There was one thing that made it a great film.

In its day you can see how it would be good, but today things have moved on. One thing hasnt however, and that was the incredibly charismatic Harrison Ford.

He was head and shoulders above everyone else.

So what do disney do. Make another starwars film about the character made a legend by HF.

Its not going to work is it.

And the problem is, its a pretty dull film anyway. Devoid of any character, humour, tension or interest.

The best bit is the android that identifies as female. Its the only laugh in the whole film.

Maybe itll appeal to its target audiance (mid teens) who dont know any better, but to us older people who have seen classic sci-fi come and sadly go and great actors such as Harrison Ford it hugely lacking.

I fear we are in a period of clones. Films ticking boxes to please those 15 year olds going to the cinema.

The monster was pretty cool.

And the actual bad guy was a pleasing addition. But those 3 goods things sadly dont save over 2 hours of tedium.

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  • I found this review:

Terrible. Really terrible

I remember the original was an ok film. This isnt.

Its incredibly boring, with the plot being something about tying up loose ends. Really, that IS the plot and it makes no sense at all.

Denzel mean while drives around dishing out justice in utterly random and inexplicable vigilante style. As with many new films if you see a middle aged white guy its pretty safe to assume he is bad/evil/stupid/inept/a villain/Generally deserving of a good beating

And why do guys with the same training as our hero blunder into his arms so helplessly?

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  • I found this review:

balanced but whats with the ending?

While pretty dull overall, i liked the balance in the story. From the naive german pair, the extreme but badly hurt Palestinian terrorists to the blood thirsty Israelis defending themselves with a leader who desperately wanted to resolve the whole conflict once and for all in a peaceful manor.

The film is likely most remembered for its ending however. Regardless of your view on Israel the entebbe mission is a classic, and it was pretty much skipped and replaced with a peculiar dance scene (really!) To me it looked like the director was either scared of failing in reproducing the action or felt dancing instead of shooting might win them a gong at the Caan festival......

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  • I found this review:

Great monster, Great films to copy from.. how can they get it so wrong?

I dont get how you can make a film this bad.

The cast are awful. Infact only the evil corporation guy comes across entertaining. The script is terrible, the plot laughable.

CGI is far to obvious.

Its almost like they have gone out of there way to make it as bad as possible.

Come to think of it, that episode of peppa pig when they went sailing is better than this (it really is)

On the bright side it shows how good the original Jaws was. Less action, less budget, less diverse cast, ropey effects. Yet it eats the meg alive.

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  • I found this review:

As per everyone else

Pretty poop film tbh.

Bad guy was just a white south african to laugh at, cgi was abound and not that good. Plot was pretty dull, acting was a bit meh and im not sure what they were getting at with all the anti white people stuff and making out as if keeping wealth to yourself was a good thing.

I was starting to get bored of marvel films. Its just the same thing every time.

But atleast the other films were entertaining with the wit and charisma of the main cast. This is just so bland.

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  • I found this review:

very very poor

This was painful to watch.

Bad guys quite literally warping to locations and despite them hiring 2 professionals (US SO) with there bottomless pockets they still hire the most incompetent goons ever seen on screen. They simply cant land a shot to save there lives

That is save the 2 females in the film. The only shooters in the whole film who can land a shot on our hero are women. So why is this company hiring men? Infact why are all special forces still using men when women are so much more effective?

The 'Good' Female quite easily lands headshots while driving! she takes down swaths of assault rifle wielding goons (in body armour ill add) with nothing but her trusty glock.

Apart from having to face a couple of women, our drug addicted mercenary hero is pretty much the same. Dodging bullets effortlessly, turning invisible when he needs to and only misses shots for story progression.

Its really, really lame stuff.

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  • I found this review:

utter rubbish, renamed.

This film has been renamed in order to get bites (kicking myself for being so stupid). The original title of this tripe is 'The Sound'

Paranormal (activity) and White noise films are completely unrelated. Both of those are actually quite good, hence the attempt to use there fame.

Avoid this, its dull.

If you dont avoid it, then your as stupid as me, which is pretty bad!

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  • I found this review:

more of the same

Pretty much the same as all the other Marvel movies.

Yes its entertaining and they have clearly seen humour (how long as that taken to get into mainstream movies) is an essential ingredient.

Problem is its just the same thing, over and over. Made up with top notch effects, actors and laughs.

I feel superhero saturation is close.

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  • I found this review:

A once in a lifetime work of genius

I just wrote a review on Aliens, probably the best of all sci-fi films.

But as with everything there are big buts making such claims and the Matrix is one mighty big but.

The Matrix blew us all away when we watched it the first time and today it remains one of the best films ever made.

No shakey cam here, just very well drilled actors doing there stuff to one of the most original plots ever devised and bringing special effects to bare of the like never seen before. And on top of that, its also pretty good...

I envy my kids being able to watch something like this for the first time.

And it has to be said, they really dont make films like this anymore!

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  • I found this review:

The greatest of all Sci Fi films?

Aliens is an epic win by Cameron. I could leave it at that.

Its a film that wreaks of his skill and attention to detail. God, that detail. Unlike 90% of Sci Fi's Cameron makes everything and everyone something real. The way the pulse rifle is explained, the auto turrets - even Paxmans excellent comic book style scene during the drop where he details the weapon systems.. It makes it all feel so real.

And talking comic book, the marines are comically over played and almost annoying but, but it brings them to life and you quickly want everyone of them to survive. And Check out there armour. Standerd Marine issue but custom decorated, another awesome detail.

And the Marines and the weapons are just 1 small part of this film, yet that alone puts Aliens amongst the very best action films of all time. Yes, this film can trade blows with the best of horror, sci fi and action independently its that good.

A lot is said about Aliens being relentless action. It isnt. It takes almost an hour to spin up and does have the odd break through the remaining 90 minutes.

I just put it down to how the film sucks you in, then once your in its pummels you senseless. One pro writer explained it well, saying he didnt know how to rate the film as he came out dazed. He was entertained, he was exhausted.

And has any film left behind so many quotes re-used in daily life or so instantly recognizable?

Its an utter masterpeice of sci fi which only has one flaw. It set a bar with a carrot dangling from it that the film industry cant help trying to reach. Needless to say, nobody has even got close.

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