Film Reviews by JD

Welcome to JD's film reviews page. JD has written 135 reviews and rated 169 films.

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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Went totally over my head, but a great film

(Edit) 26/02/2020

This is a film that oozes quality.

The writing and directing is top drawer stuff and the acting is superb. I hate brad pit (why would JA choose him over me?) but he is an ok actor to be fair.

The film felt a bit drawn out and pointless however. Seemingly only propped up by its innate quality.

But as it finished my partner read about it - the film seemed an odd mix of reality and made up stuff. It turns out that my self proclaimed lack of understanding wasnt the half of it. I was like a chimp watching pictures and hearing noises with no understanding of what was playing out in front of me.

Tarantino has put together a complex (as all the old movie references and using fact and then turning it on its head) yet highly entertaining story.

For those like me who 'dont get it' i highly recommend watching it through, then reading about it when its finished. While most of it still went over my head, the ending then made sense and what he did with the ending will play with your emotions.

Tarantino has done this his own way, its not like other films and doesnt follow a tired trend or try to please people who dont believe films are there for entertainment reasons.

This is a fantastic film from an incredibly talented director and performed by some talented actors.

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Alita: Battle Angel

There is something very right about this film

(Edit) 09/02/2020

About 20 minutes in i had a feeling. Theres something odd about this film.

Its all held to together with superglue. Robust plot (yes there are holes and questions but it just rides past them with a wave), like able and fascinating characters (even the doctors side kick who says hardly anything is a friendly, familiar face you cant help but like) amazing action, an awesome 'hero' character and fantastic effects.

Given the rubbish being released today this all added up to something peculiar. What could it be? So checked IMDB and yep. James Cameron.

Nobody seems to like the guy, but he is a master of film no question. I dont want to take anything away from others involved but is super sus that one of the best fantasy action films of recent years has heavy involvement from him.

For adults it probably does lack a bit of complexity but this is a film anyone can enjoy. There are no F bombs or scaring amputations for the kids, no blaming dad for ruining the world and being the source of everyones problems, the action is equally offset by (admittedly odd!) romance for mum and the teens can just revall in it all.

Great stuff.

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Conan the Barbarian

completely forgettable.

(Edit) 08/02/2020

This film has 3 good points.

1. Its called Conan, a film made familiar to many by Arny.

2. Ron Pearlman

3. I forgot.

3. oh, the bad guy. I Forget his name but he's cool.

Its to much cheese and silly to be remotely entertaining.

Our hero is a your typical millennial hero. Flawless. And with it has zero interest.

It looks like he cant even swing sword. He can pose well, but every swing has the camera cut to a new angle and new move, and i mean every swing. Its truly horrible to watch. Gal Gadot does a far better job with a sword in wonder woman. Indeed, she took an interest in that role - here our star looks like he is there to look pretty and collect a cheque. Its little wonder his roles to date have been extremely limited.

But its not just him, the whole thing is carried out in such a forgettable fashion. Its a by the numbers rubbish film.

Ive not seen the originals as rumor has it they weren't fantastic. But rumor also has it, now we have this 20xx version the originals wernt actually quite as bad as they seemed!!

One thing i know ill get when the rent the originals is Arny swinging a sword around like he means it. Not like he's on a fashion shoot.....

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Sucker Punch

Hugely entertaining stuff.

(Edit) 22/01/2020

Like most modern films this is about women defeating there evil male oppressors. They even run round with guns (rarely a good thing)

But this isnt a modern film.

All the men maybe bad, but they are just bad people. The film isnt making a point of making me feel worthless (being male).

All the women are good. But they arent invincible.

And 3 of them show John Wick style weapon handling skills- years before John wick. Watching the 3 leads using fire arms is real joy in this film. They are exceptionally good.

There is much more to this film however, its a multi layered fantasy drama thing with some awesome (lots) action thrown in. No doubt a lot of the story went over my head.

This is a brilliant film.

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The Axiom

Good idea, but a dreadful mess

(Edit) 07/12/2019

Looks like this was done on a pretty small budget. And it shows.

The film was every where with a combination of making no sense, a full set of incredibly annoying characters and those characters saying and doing things humans just wouldnt do or say in those situations.

The 6 main cast has 2 women who can do no wrong and 4 men, 3 of which are useless numpties and one a creepy older guy.

Something that springs to mind as maybe comparable is cabin in the woods. But that has a proper director and some budget and is vastly superior.

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Chernobyl

shock. Its really good

(Edit) 23/11/2019

Contrary to everyone else i found this really good :)

Hard to criticize at all. Of course i wasnt there and there many bits that make you wonder how accurate they are.

But the overal path cant be anything but close and what is admitted to be non-fact is simply portrayed legend style which imo is more than acceptable.

As for the program as something to watch, its fascinating and incredibly sad. Ive a lot of respect for the russians, but this shows that while they are very much our equal in courage and intellect, there political system needs a smidge of polish!

I recently saw a film about the sub the 'kursk' and its much the same. A lot of brave men and women let down by a system. (although that film is nothing like as good as this!)

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Ocean's 8

I prefer this to men version

(Edit) 23/11/2019

Im much a syd, but i have to say i enjoyed this much more than the convoluted normal oceans films.

Most of the female actors were superb and there was no silly 'men are sub-beings and women are awesome' undertones. Well apart from Sandra's ex partner but that actually fitted into the story pretty well so was easily watched.

The plot is so so, but i found the characters really entertaining and i enjoyed watching it.

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X-Men: Dark Phoenix

so so bad

(Edit) 23/11/2019

I keep adding films like this thinking 'how bad can it be'

4k, decent budget, lots of action and noise, some big name actors.

But its one of those many films where they have gone out of there way to make it rubbish. There appears to be some real effort put into making this some dull, nonsensical nonsense.

It also owns what is probably the silliest and most pointless line ever spoke in a film. When Jennifer tells Mcavoy the xmen should be called xwomen.

Life is short, far to short to watch rubbish like this.

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Kursk: The Last Mission

average film of a tragic event

(Edit) 15/11/2019

Worth a watch just for the subject and the fact its a true story.

It has the appearance and feeling its on the cheap and doesnt stand out as anything special. But it gets the key points across well enough to be a story worth watching.

Center piece is the impact on family, and there is the bond between service men, the lack of funding causing poor training and equipment so lacking and poorly maintained its both useless and incredibly dangerous. All wrapped around the Soviet politics that ultimately make this such a tragedy.

Of course, thats bad enough but when the Royal Navy was going out of its way to help with what would be the best divers and rescue equipment in the world it just makes it much worse.

There is much dramatisation going on to keep the story rolling along, but the key points, the disaster, the family, the politics and a genuine offer of help from great sea-fairing enemy are all covered.

And a term ive not heard before has stuck in my head. Sailors help Sailors. For the crew of kursk it was there comrades and for those watching it was the royal navy. All every mariner wanted was to see them safe.

But Politics.

4 out of 4 members found this review helpful.

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Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Epic, but empty in equal measures

(Edit) 09/11/2019

Id give this 3.5 if i could, but rounded it up as at the end of the day this is Godzilla AND entertaining.

There are much worse films out there certainly as far as monster films go this is pretty good.

This uses lots of monster on monster action to get around what feels a pretty empty film plot wise and the action scenes are by the numbers.

But the action is a plenty, it has good effects and lots of noise.

It also does well to avoid the cheese that ruins so many films like this. The 'annoying' kid is Millie Bobby Brown and she isnt in the slightest bit annoying. Head military guy is a woman, but she carries the position well - rather than simply being better than all men she carries herself like a leader and is utterly believable.

We dont get half a film taken up with soap opera character building (im looking at you independence day). The broken family is a broken family and the film doesnt dwell on it.

As for the monster action it was predictable and it felt a bit like a rocky film, even if it was good. It certainly wasnt clever, just entertaining.

I liked it and i think its got its head firmly above the water. But a classic it isnt. Which is a pity as Godzilla is one of the greatest screen names of all time.

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John Wick 3: Parabellum

This is getting pretty silly now - but still wow!

(Edit) 02/11/2019

All 3 stars here are for Keanu and his incredible weapon handling. (he'd get a 5 on his own)

There is no shaky cam or abrupt cuts and blurry action here. Keanu is on top of every move. Hand to hand is obviously a bit more choreographed but when he has a gun in his hand its like we are watching a master give us a lesson in a shooting range.

All action films need to take note of this, give us an 'actor' (keanu isnt the best 'actor') that knows his subject - not a big name who cant do anything and then hide it with wobbly cam. i.e pretty much all other action films, or even action drama.

Around Keanus brilliance however is a very silly film. They are stepping up the silly each time to make a bigger show and its loosing - fast - what made the original so special (Keanus awesome tactical skills)

There is a section in the middle where Keanu gets a sidekick and this does show how good Keanu is. His accomplice has clearly also had tactical training, but she is so wooden, just following instructions and the bad guys stand around waiting for her. Keanu on the other hand looks supremely natural and rarely do you see the 'bad guy waiting to get it' - Keanu is on them faster than you can notice.

Its pretty obvious Keanu has taken this very seriously and spent a lot of time practicing (Ive seen/heard several things saying he really is extremely good at this).

Its great to see the true action hero isnt dead, and John Wick has certainly brought home to me how dedicated and talented Keanu Reeves is.

Hopefully John Wick 4 will do away with the 1 better for spectical and return to some John Wick focused shoot outs.

Oh, the film... it was ok :)

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Hellboy

Obviously nothing on the originals

(Edit) 29/10/2019

I like this sort of film, so just about managed to remain neutral to it. There are lots of great monsters which is the films biggest win.

But the plot was a bit tedious and the digs at the english and 'old boys' clubs is a bit lame. There is a clear impression of disliking the english.

The special effects were up and down, at times it was impressive - then the CGI would fail miserably.

One great thing about the film tho is it makes you appreciate del torro and Perlman.

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Geostorm

Horrendous

(Edit) 05/10/2019

What is this?

My partner spent the entire film saying what was going to happen next, causing much merryment. Yes, its that predictable.

Did this film even have a writer or director? It looks like it built from some 'how to make a basic appeal to everyone film' Template.

Its just terrible. I rented it hoping for some awesome extreme weather special effects. These were few and far between.

This is one properly bad film, that sadly treats itself like a some sort of blockbuster.

All i can say is thank the lord for Cinema Paradiso. I can chalk this up to experience and rent something from the 80's or by a proper director to make up for it!

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Security

Terrible

(Edit) 29/09/2019

Watching this strikes up thoughts of

Precinct 13 - small group defending against a mass of attackers.

this flips it around tho having highly trained (yet incredibly incompetent) mercenaries against unarmed security guards. And a little girl.

John Wick.

Where KR conducts his activities with incredible realism, our hero here goes about his stuff in true film set style. I cant say to much however as i spent most my time looking at my phone.

Die Hard

Each villain here possed a problem for John. In Security, each unarmed teenager posses a serious problem for multiple ex-special forces evil henchmen. I really do wonder where they find these henchmen.

And thats not to mention the above are simply far better films. Given the material to copy from how do they get these films so wrong?

Im guessing by the complete lack of laughs its not a spoof or a comedy.

Best avoided - there is good reason its only available on DVD.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Holmes and Watson

Looks like im the only person who enjoyed this!

(Edit) 05/08/2019

I found this film highly amusing. Yes its silly but by the same token i dont think its meant to be a documentary.

Much like many modern films if you leave your brain at the door its ok. Lets face it, the humour is better than the action is in most action films - which get much better reviews than this film does.

It mindless entertainment and isnt pretending to be anything more.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.
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