Film Reviews by None

Welcome to None's film reviews page. None has written 14 reviews and rated 61 films.

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Fracture

Taught thriller

(Edit) 15/05/2007

Had a look at the cinema listings with my wife, she didn't want to watch Spidey 3 I didn't want to watch a Nazi war film-The Life Of Others.So we decided to go and watch fracture.Hadn't read to much about it, had heard some positive reviews so decided to give it a go.

Anthony hopkins is always good value and a movie with him in is always worth a watch.Don't know the co star(Ryan Gosling), Should I ?

Without giving to much away the plot involves Mr hopkins Murdering his own wife, admitting to it, giving a written statement and basically putting his hands up and saying, it was me.Well obviously its not that simple.Ryan Gosling plays a hotshot lawyer who is just on the verge of promotion, decides to take one last job an easy "Murder with confession".

Herein lies the beauty of this film, the plot twists and turns from conception to completion and you never really know whats going to happen.The time never dragged whilst watching this film it totally ronsealed me and i left the cinema feeling totally satisfied.The only thing that bugged me was, why does a medium popcorn small drink and a bag of penny sweets cost over £8.What gives!!!

6 out of 8 members found this review helpful.

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Cars

Car Crash

(Edit) 16/04/2007

The only reason I watched this is because of Toy Story, that is such a good movie that I felt that this Pixar offering would be worth a look, don't get me wrong its good to look at, but aren't they all.The main problem with this film is plot, it doesn't seem to have one and if it does it is so drawn out that it totally loses it.Another issue I had was with the cars themselves, why make the windscreen the eyes and not the headlamps its a minor thing but for me it just didn't work.So to sum up although this is a "Family film" it really is a kids film that the adults will have to endure.Best of luck parents.And Pixar, well its back to the drawing board, literally, for you, better luck next time.Oh and parents, if you really want to watch a top class animated film go for Madagascar or Iceage.

3 out of 4 members found this review helpful.

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Flushed Away

Wierd Premise

(Edit) 13/07/2007

I'm gonna be honest, I only watched about 20 minutes of this film. I always give movies a chance but if they become laboured and crap then I figure that I have better things to do, like watch paint dry.It would seem a great idea to team up Aardman animations with the creators of shrek, but what comes out seems to have the charisma of neither.Like a tug of war where the rope snaps.From the start I thought I don't give to hoots what happens to the characters and that is a problem.If you have absolutely nothing better to do, then watch it, if you have a life.Avoid

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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X-Men: The Last Stand

comic book dud

(Edit) 22/05/2007

I'm of the opinion that if a movies good then it doesn't matter whether its a sequel a fresh original story a drama an action film or sci fi if its good its good.End of.

I also don't think you have to be a fan of the comic book. A film should stand up in its own right. While I was watching this film all I kept thinking was, is this the Bryan Singer that directed The Usual Suspects a film so full of suspense originality and pace that it kept you hooked till the final frame, it couldn't be.X-Men 3 is so bad it represents everything that is wrong with current movies.Bad script, no story and half arsed effects(asides from the floating bridge).Mr Singer must have been under pressure to deliver the third film because what we are left with is so dull and uninspiring I really didn't care what happened to any of the characters.As for a fourth film.Get real.

2 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

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Mission Impossible 3

Toms lost the plot

(Edit) 17/12/2006

I'm not going into plot details, I hate reviews that go into endless details about the plot and don't actaully tell you what they thought of the film and anyway does the plot really matter in a film of this type.

I had high hopes for this movie, directed by jj (lost} Abrahams and other reviews that I had read gave it the thumbs up. So I sat down and waited in anticipation for the thrill ride to begin but alas an hour in and I was still waiting. Don't get me wrong this movie has action and plenty of it, it just feels that jj is so worried that the audience is going to get bored he seems more interested in teasing us with whats about to come rather than focusing on the now. What we are left with is a long film that feels jumpy, clunky and rushed but also lacking pace at the same time.

As for Mr Cruise, well it seems that his acting is getting worse the more films he makes, he needs to step outside himself and take a good long look at what he's doing.

Hopefully this is the last Mission Impossible, but it probably isn't, if another one is made, please get a decent director on board, its obvious that jj and Mr Woo can't direct proper stories for cherry.Bring back Brian De Palma.PLLLEEEAAASSSEE!!!!

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Flightplan

This Is One Flight You Won't Mind Missing

(Edit) 16/08/2006

Jodie Foster is renowned for only making a handful of quality movies, The Accused, Silence Of The Lambs and Taxi Driver to name but a few.So when I saw this film was coming to DVD it was a must rent.The premise is simple Jodie Foster and her daughter get on a plane bound for New York,she falls asleep and when she wakes her daughter is missing, this is the central plot for the entire movie.Sounds good, yes?

The only problemm is that it isn't good, the directions haphazard the tension barely builds and the script is plane(excuse the pun)awful.You feel that the film would have been a classic in the eyes of a great director, as it is its straight to the woolies bargain bucket for this one.Avoid

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Stealth

Bang for Buck

(Edit) 11/08/2006

After seeing the trailer yonks ago and thinking, this looks like a good movie, I managed to miss it at the cinema so when it came out on dvd I had it put right to the top of my rental cue. The thing I really loved about this film is that it delivered exactly what it promised. My home cinema had cobwebs flying out of it. Play this movie loud and it just rocks.It has to be popcorn flick of the year.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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The Transporter 2

Equal Sequel

(Edit) 11/08/2006

The transporter kicked arse, the car was the star and I loved it, I guess this was the same for a lot of people thats why they have made a sequel.The second instalment is more of the same, impressive fight sequences fast cars and jason statham kicking arse. Its good but for me it felt somehow less involving than the first, its bigger, louder and the stunts are verging on silly.Its still worth watching though, so sit back turn your home cinema way up and enjoy.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Grizzly Man

It Made me Grizzly, Man!!!

(Edit) 11/08/2006

Having really high expectations for a movie is always a bad thing, the big summer blockbusters that have promised so much and then failed to deliver.The same could be said for this movie, the reviews have been good the premise looked promising but when I watched it. What a drag. Yes treadwell is a sort of interesting character but the only reason he made the films and died at the end was to gain the notoriety that he had so craved in the real world and not achieved. For me this movie came across as a very long suicide note from a lost soul.Far to much filler.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

One of the best comedies ever

(Edit) 03/07/2007

I first saw Will Ferrell in Zoolander, his style is totally over the top if you like this sort of style then this is the movie for you.The whole film is a total piss tke of the news corporations in the 1970's with its male dominated news rooms.I don't know what film the other reviewers were watching but I found myself actually crying with laughter at some points.Its one of those films that if you like his style its for you, if not.Avoid

3 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

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Snakes on a Plane

Awfully Good

(Edit) 03/07/2007

I already new from all the reviews I had read that this film is to be watched totally tongue in cheek, the premise is simple ,the execution is full blown 1970's b-movie.It does what it says on the tin, the plot is the title.Samual l jackson is good in his role.I found this to be a totally refreshing easy to watch film that delivered what I thought it would.Recommended for a laugh.

3 out of 4 members found this review helpful.

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Lady in the Water

The Village again

(Edit) 17/04/2007

This fim is really clever, really really really clever,original premise, uh no, original plot uh no, original story uh not a chance.The really clever thing about this film is the fact that this film is almost the exact same story as The Village.A central character must try to escape from where she is to another world.But in the way are scary creatures, it then turns out that the people around her are somehow involved in her being able to escape.

The film started off ok but seemed to become lazy and confused as it continued.To be honest in the end I didn't really care what happened.Quality rip off of his own work, yes. Quality film.I'm afraid not.

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Reeker

This Ain't no stinker

(Edit) 20/04/2007

Just finished watching Reeker and while im still buzzing from the experience thought I would write my thoughts down.ryems preety straight forward,a group of teen friends are off to area 52 some sort of festival on highway 90.Guess what?Yep.There car breaks down at a motel and they are forced to stay the night.From there on in its typical stuff.Filmed in the same sort of style as The Hills have eyes and Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes it certainly maintains a high level of suspense and keeps you guessing right to the end.You will watch this movie thinking that its a right load of predictable tosh but if you watch it right to the end it certainly delivers.

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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The Departed

Not a Classic

(Edit) 22/03/2007

Saying that this Scorsese picture is not that good is like saying that you live in a naf house in kensington. They don't exist.Putting this observation aside and only comparing this movie with other scorsese pictures, its pretty poor. Jack Nicholson is always very watchable, but seems to spend the whole movie doing a parody of himself. As for the others, Leonardo Decaprio is probably the best and seems to give it 100%, Mark Whalberg and Matt Damon seem out of their depth.Although the film moves at a good pace the plot seems clunky at times and a bit predictable. Compared to other filmmakers this picture is very good, Compared to Scorsese's other work, its very average.

4 out of 5 members found this review helpful.