Film Reviews by LC

It's hard to tell if this erotic thriller is a deliberate tongue-in-cheek parody, or just falls into 'so bad it's good' territory. The dialogue and stilted performances give this the feel of a soft-core porn film, whilst the plot ends up piling so many twists and double-crosses on top of each other that it rapidly becomes ludicrous. And yet, it's so bonkers I just had to watch to the end. Impossible to take seriously, but it has a certain campy charm.

This offbeat romance has little in the way of a contentional plot, feeling more like a free-wheeling series of incidents and encounters. Coupled with its relatively long running time, this may not exactly be gripping viewing, but the way it pleasantly ambles along has a lot of charm, and there are a host of bizarre and humourous characters to encounter along the way. The pimple-spotted and gawky leads are a long-way from the conventional idea of Hollywood glamour, as is their frequently akward and jarring romance. This, coupled with the film's refusal to settle into any obvious and standard style of narrative, ultimately won me over as a refreshingly different take.

An enjoyably dark thriller, this is an evocative portrayal of carny folk and a highly troubled lead. It's certainly not perfect, and it does tend to lean into the pulpier aspect of the genre, particularly when it comes to Cate Blanchett's femme fatale (whose motivation I never could quite grasp) and the ending, which is both an obviously contrived moral comeuppance, yet still nicely satisfying. The performances are great all round, and the whole thing is gorgeous to look at. Those with short attention spans may be offput by the measured pacing, but if you like movies like 'Chinatown' I'd highly recommend this.

I found the first half of this film pretty annoying, due to the relentless comedy routines. It's impossible for any scene to have any emotional weight, as not as single exchange of dialogue can go by without being undercut by 'hilarious' comedy zingers, and oh-so-whacky Marvel humour - all so obviously telegraphed that none of it is actually funny. Thankfully the relentless mugging settles down in the second half, and we actually get a reasonably involving narrative. As a fan of the original Sam Raimi trilogy it's great to see so many elements back, and the interaction between the various Spider-Men is nicely done. Unfortunately there are so many bad guys to cram in (5 of them in total), that whilst they each get some nice moments, it's tough to do any of them full justice, with even Willem Dafoe's Green Goblin feeling slightly short-changed by the end. Ultimately, it's a nice love-letter to the past, and fun to revisit these characters, but I'm not sure I'll ever want to watch it again.

The two 'Kingsmen' films were great fun, but fairly obviously James Bond parodies. Shifting the action here to the First World War era gives this film a much more distinctive feel, and breathed new life into the franchise. Some outrageously over-the-top set pieces and extremely impressive direction, the film clearly doesn't take itself seriously, but the storyline is involving enough to be engaging, and there's a nice unexpected twist midway through which completely shifts the narrative off of it's expected course. All in all, just great fun entertainment - probably the closest in feel I can think of is 'Indiana Jones on crack'. The film also stands alone as a prequel, so requires no knowledge of the previous two 'Kingsmen' films to enjoy.

This film isn't entirely without merit - the ambitious cosmic storyline is fairly interesting, and there are some epic visuals at times. The major flaw is that the characters are so dull it's hard to get that invested. Even the moments of irreverant humorous dialogue that are sprinkled throughout feel forced and fall completely flat: half the time this feels like it wants to be a serious, weighty movie, the other half it wants to be a 'Guardians of the Galaxy' style romp - in the end it falls between two stools and ends up being neither. Ultimately, this is just another in the endless converyor-belt run of Marvel movies - just about worth watching to see what elements will be picked up and developed in further films, but on it;s own it's not a particularly satisfying experience.

This is not a review of the film itself, but a head's up that the only DVD version currently (2022) available here is shockingly bad quality - I could only make it through 20 minutes of grainy footage and muffled audio before giving up and watching a far better quality scan on youtube. A shame - hopefully a new updated restored version gets released at some point, as this is borderline unwatchable.

There is a decent idea at the heart of this movie: this time, the terrorized townsfolk of Haddonfield are going to turn the tables, and Michael Myers is going to be the victim. It's different enough to keep this installment watchable (though I do feel the could have pushed the idea a little further), and it's a generally well-shot and good looking film. On the flip side, the characters frequently make pretty dumb decisions that lead to their deaths, (and oddly fail to communicate with each other - do none of them have mobile phones?) but this is a failing of many horror films. More tricky is the fact that we all know Michael is unkillable, and never more so than in what is clearly the middle film in this latest trilogy. It's tough generating any suspense when we know the bad guy is going to survive whatever is thrown at him, but give those narrative contrainsts this is about as good as one could expect - it's nothing special, but its decent enough to keep the wheels spinning until the next installment. [3.5 put of 5]

Elvira looks amazing, but that's about the only positive here. The script is lame, the direction pedestrian, and the performances are wooden. I get that it's supposed to be camp nonsense, but there just didn't seem to be enough of a sparkle here, and the sub-Carry On humour (most of which revolved around people wanting to get their hands on Elvira's breasts) didn't make me laugh once. Yes, they are amazing to look at, but it's tough to sustain an entire movie on boob jokes alone.

The central concept is decent enough - it's obviously designed for an extremely low budget by just reusing the same set with different lighting, but films like 'Saw' have shown how a claustrophobic setting can work. Unfortunately the dialogue is poor, and the acting from most of the cast is even worse - in fact I can confidently say this film contains the worst acting I have ever seen. A shame.

There is one nice narrative twist midway through the film, which I won't spoil, but other than that this film falls short. The villains are such over-the-top comicbook grotesques that it's impossible to take them seriosuly (especially as zero backstory is given for them). The film also relies heavily on the technique of jumpscares - every few minutes something flashes on screen accompanied by a blast of sound - which gets tiresome after a while. There is an interesting idea at the heart of this film, but the decision to ramp the melodrama up to 10 ends up backfiring - instead of getting drawn into the story and characters, all I could see were the filmmaker's desperate attemtps to try to scare/shock the audience.

I've seen my share of goofy horror films over the years, but in terms of sheer ludicrousness, this one is hard to top. The opening scene plays out like a parody, and from then on things get worse. I won't spoil the big twist (which is suspiciously close to the concept a certain Stephen King novel), but once this element kicks in, the storyline gets so ridiculous it's difficult to credit what you are watching on screen. With a few jokes, this might have reached 'so bad it's good' territory, but the filmmakers seem to be taking it all completely seriously. It is undeniably slickly directed however, so I'll bump it up a star for that.

This is a nicely effective and moody horror chiller, and whilst clearly low budget appears to be well directed, in a similar vein to the earlier films of George Romero. Unfortunately the picture quality on the DVD currently available to rent here is appalling, and gets so bad during some of the darker scenes it's almost impossible to see what's occuring on screen. Should this ever get a remaster or blu ray update I'd strongly recommend checking it out, but until then it's going to take a determined viewer to get through.

The first episode makes this look as though it's going to be a deconstruction of role playing games, as a bunch of generic Dungeons & Dragons style adventurers find themselves way out of their depth. Unfortunately the rest of the series never really follows up the premise - there's a touch more blood than usual, and some mild female nudity (always with nipples strategically hidden), but otherwise this seems content to follow standard fantasy genre tropes. It's pleasant enough, and the characters grow on you over the course of the series, but it lacks any real subversion or wildly original ideas. Fun, but a bit hollow.

The decision to tell the same story three times over from different viewpoints is intruiging, although it does result in a rather bloated running time. The film also hammers its message home without much subtelty, with title cards highlighting both male character's stories as flawed, whilst only the female lead tells the 'real' truth. It works, but it feels slightly preachy, and I can't help but think it might have been more complex and interesting if all three leads were unreliable narrators, and let the audience make up its own mind. Acting is mostly fine, though the mishmash of English and American accents (in a film set in France) takes a bit of getting used to. Ridley Scott has thrown millions at the screen, so it look great, but I'm not sure the film needed it - other than the final duel, this feels like it could have played out as a minimalist stageplay. There's still enough here to recommend a watch, but on the whole i found this a slightly leaden experience. (3.5 out of 5)