Film Reviews by None

Welcome to None's film reviews page. None has written 12 reviews and rated 43 films.

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Shaolin Soccer

It's good, it's mad and a little bit salty....

(Edit) 11/04/2006

Not in the same league as Kung Fu Hustle for me, but still a very enjoyable film, more so for the martial arts and lame storyline/love interests. The dogmatic persistance of Sing in realising his dream of making martial arts more than a fighting format is painfully enjoyable, the training camp for his team is entertaining and the soccer games, short, exciting and predicatable, though with moments of anxiety. Reminds me of Super Sidekicks on the New Geo arcade system. Chicks with moustaches is cool. Dance sequences very cool, slapstick humour extremely cool - person slipping on banana skin, works every time!

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Blade: Trinity

Very comic book-ey, enjoyable if you're into comic books

(Edit) 08/10/2005

I really liked this movie. I liked the earlier blade movies too but this is very different. I found the the first movie darker with a stronger storyline; they've got gradually more like the spiderman comic books: More action, funnier, a few serious moments, vunerable hero's and gung-ho fights. Culminating in trinity which is just like either a Capcom streetfigher game or as I said a spiderman comic book (pre-all that crazy alien costume stuff).

Anyway, I liked the supporting roles, thought the hellian hottie Abigail adds great eye candy and fighting envy to the movie; Hannibal is superb as a... Well whatever he is (annoyed sex toy with a funny streak?), good addition.

I watched it twice (in a row) just cos' it entertained me on a boring wednesday afternoon. Story's ok, action good, effects good, gags excellent, I liked the acting and the villains too.

Would be in my collection for entertainment value.

Better than the final Matrix.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Hero

Okay

(Edit) 03/10/2005

Not a bad movie, expected more subtlety. First 45 mins seem to drag out and are overly worked with cool and atmospheric shots and direction. I believe to the point that it's too many atmospheric shots bolted together. It picks up in the last 45 mins, when the story seems to pull out it's twists and meaning. Ok martial arts, nice visuals, some terrible acting in a manga style from the female leeds (snarling and shouting Ho! whilst flying through the air - not good, especially as the female Leeds are so much better than that), though some of the visuals of characters in a manga style are superb. To see the comic books come to life with make-up and subtle eye movements - fantastic. Watch and see the difference bewteen translating the manga understated and the manga overstated.

I've bought this film pior to hiring it, I will watch it again, but only for some of the movie, unlike "Crouching Tiger and Hidden Dragon" which is just a beautiful and complete movie, period.

1 out of 5 members found this review helpful.

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Ong Bak

Worth watching just for his ability

(Edit) 12/01/2006

The guy is quick. Agile. Unbelievable, just what all young lads dreamed of being when they watched "Kung-Fu" movies.

Ok film, but if you liked to see a martila artist do things beyond your imagination, then watch this. Some of his ariel moves are unbelievable. Just watching the speed that he can cover distance whilst in the air is jaw dropping. Watched many times just because I couldn't believe what he did, then I read the blurb about no wires etc.

"Freak" comes to mind, but in the nicest way, he seems to be the perfect physical human.

I hate him.

And respect him.

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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The Incredibles

It's the fantastic four!!! (comic not film)

(Edit) 30/11/2005

Funny, light-hearted, great animation, bored of it now. Though i would watch the sequel if there was one (doubt it).

Good characters, especially the clever inreplay and reversal of dreams and family life and just the general roles in family and society and work.

Clever, sometimes subtle, sometimes painfully blunt. I think I need a glass of coke and some ice cream. In fact NO! Give me a coke-ice cream float!!!!

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain

Never-ending story/willlow with martial arts

(Edit) 11/04/2006

It's ok, nice story, nice martial arts, maybe a classic a tale in their, moemnts of comedy and ascention of student to teacher, minor love story etc. I wouldn't watch it again, but certainly would appeal to some people out there, almost like a fairy tale story, magic and demons and flying through the air.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Family Guy: Series 2

Building on the first series

(Edit) 06/02/2006

If you enjoyed the first series, then continue with the second. More of the same. Still mad, bad and crazy.

Though I enjoyed the first series better.

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Family Guy: Series 1

Another level

(Edit) 12/01/2006

The Simpsons is good - groundbreaking when launched, so are Futurama and "King of the Hill" as well as countless others.

But this is just bizarre yet normal. Not quite dysfunctional family, normal family, showing how dysfunctional normal can be. It's almost manically bizarre in it's humour, but so easy to watch and so damn funny. I can't go on because I love it too much, and it really is real. The epsiodes are straight out of home life, the characters and interactions are real though exaggerated.

Watch it, love it, and wonder why the most insane incidents just seem normal, because they probably happen in everybodies life do s lesser degree, in some form or another. It's laughing at ourselves which is the kindest humour.

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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The Day Today

A must see, if you appreciate impeccably good satire.

(Edit) 11/04/2006

I believe this is the finest and most influential piece of comedy released in britain, perhaps the world. Even to this day, the fotmat of the news and the styles of commentry are ridicuolously close to the parody potrayed in "The Day Today". It's unbelievably funny, clever and dumb. I still hear commentries, or see the way a news show starts and think that's the "The Day Today", and it confirms what a farce the media is. Stunning, I can't get tired of this.

3 out of 3 members found this review helpful.

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The Bourne Supremacy

Action, good camera work

(Edit) 21/10/2005

Well filmed, great fights. It's like watching a pub brawl in an SAS pub in Hertfordshire. Great extras, so you can appreciate what the director's trying to achieve.Worth a couple of watches - 3 in my case.

3 out of 4 members found this review helpful.

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Kung Fu Hustle

Almost perferct movie?

(Edit) 06/02/2006

If you appreciate movie making, then this has practically every element of good movie making in my opinion. It's a phenomenal movie. Yes it takes pieces of classic movies and patches them together but it is done so well that the whole film has continuity and purpose. Unbelievable scene where the Axe gang dance to their tune in the wake of their evil doings. It's disturbingly dark, funny, has depth of characters yet shallow in plot, it's easy to watch and enjoy but has complexities for the film fan.

Loved it.

I'm going to own it.

2 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Sin City

Oh wow!

(Edit) 01/11/2005

I have to agree with the review on here, I know it's shot with CGI, but what a stunning way to blend the acting, film noir, comic books, and a host of hugely talented and high profile crew.The film itself? Pure comic book. But don't let that stop you, there are scenes of movie brilliance, too many, like the frames of a comic book, scenes just come at you with vigour and hidden depths. It could have been more but if it was, there would be no reason to ever watch another movie, ever again.

However, appreciate it for what it is, a showcase of creativity, acting, talent, direction and immature dreams of adulthood blended into a slick viewing experience.

Hoo Haa!

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.