Film Reviews by NP

Nice scantily clad girls and cretinous boys take a tour around Ravensworth Asylum. The most irritating of these is Carl, who is certainly the first character I wanted to see succumb to what unpleasantness this film had to offer. For an irredeemable twit, Adam Horner plays him very well, and he turns out to be the most interesting character; his male counterparts aren’t much more likeable. The development between the characters is fuelled almost entirely by conversations about whether or not to have sex. Titillating, but not really engaging.

Only Sofia (Madeline Marie Dona) has a story to tell, and it’s all blurted out in exposition. This is a possible reason given for her affinity with the twin-set of ghostly activity occurring in the abandoned, but remarkably tidy, asylum location.

There are more than enough twists and revelations at the end to ensure the film ends on a point of interest, but getting there is a meander. My score is 6 out of 10.

This is a home invasion horror story with a main cast of three characters. There are some truly lovely misty locations, all nicely filmed and directed. The story is a bit slow, but enlivened by some witty dialogue, particularly from Aidan O’Neil as Karl, an un-PC social worker assigned to visit David, a recluse who has recently been discharged from a mental institution.

I enjoyed this independent production. It’s well directed and co-written by Mike Dunkin and sells a good atmosphere of isolation and fear. There’s a twist at the end; twists are tricky things – get them wrong and the whole film tumbles down like a house of cards. Here, though, I found the revelations to be satisfying, but in a tone consistent with the rest of the story. My score is 8 out of 10.

I found this to be a pleasingly indefinable film, but the thin story turned out to be insubstantial. It’s directed rather like a fly-on-the-wall documentary on actress Maggie Cheung (playing a fictional version of herself). Cheung is playing Irma Vep (an anagram of Vampire), and the story contents itself with allowing us to see her experiences behind-the-scenes in an ego-driven industry with a washed-up director (Jean-Pierre Léaud).

The acting is impeccable, and Cheung emerges as one of the few genuine and likeable characters. The story is entertaining once you get onto its wavelength, which I’m not sure I ever did entirely. An acquired taste for sure. My score is 5 out of 10.

Strange to see a research team fitted with face masks and sanitizers and realise it’s set in the world as it is in the early 2020s. I write this as we’re getting to what might be the end of the Covid pandemic that has changed lives for two years. When it first occurred, I remember walking into a supermarket and seeing it full of empty shelves and thinking how it was like something out of a sci-fi film – and terrifying. Ben Wheatley transfers this every day terror very well to film; people getting on with their lives as best they can in a newly dangerous world.

A routine reconnaissance is interrupted by the arrival of the initially benign Zach (always brilliant Reece Shearsmith), and what follows is distinctly uncomfortable. The leaden pace means we can really relish and dwell on the unsophisticated unpleasantness, and the effects are such that nothing looks like it isn’t happening.

The problem is, it is for the most part, pretty dull. Perhaps that’s the point, but there’s no pace, no spectacle: nothing – perhaps that would be too obvious.

The folk horror credentials are nicely displayed - rolling landscape, hippy-ish characters, runic symbolism and effigies hanging from trees, and plenty of psychedelic imagery – but none of this really comes to anything. Sometimes weirdness is just as unsettling and disorientating as horror, but that’s not the case here. Ultimately, the whole viewing experience is sadly turgid and vacuous. My score is 4 out of 10.

It might be a strange to criticise this modern day giallo film for looking a little cheap; in their heyday in the early 70s, such genre films were never hugely budgeted.

This does have the look of an Indie film though, which is absolutely no problem in itself, but it robs the production of the stylish values usually attributed to the gialli.

The acting is fine, although Italian actors speaking English when it is not their first language damages it a bit. It also makes it difficult to care about the characters, which is unfortunate as many of them spend quite a few scenes in jeopardy.

I don’t mean to be too damning here though. Any half-respectable reinvention of the gialli style is a good thing as far as I’m concerned, and there are some nicely filmed set pieces and some weird and fascinating red herrings – and a fair bit of sex too. My score is 6 out of 10.

A girl falls foul of a horrendous prank and ends up disabled. Five years later, those responsible are brought together for a somewhat ill-advised reunion. The most decent of this bunch is Josh (Richard Summers-Calvert), boyfriend to Frankie (Becca Hirani). Of them all though, Connie (Kate Lister) is my favourite, because she’s absolutely awful to everyone from start to finish with virtually no redeeming moments whatsoever throughout the picture

I felt that things got a little confused somewhat through the 97 minute running time, but became clearer toward the finale – and what a finale it is. There’s a really good twist at the end. I observed that when the villains are revealed, they suddenly develop potty mouths, as to underline their descent into evil!

This is very nicely filmed and features some mostly fine performances. I noticed some of the dialogue was occasionally clunky, and possibly five or ten minutes might have been shaved off the running time – but otherwise, I had a good time with this. 7 out of 10.

A haunted dress, then. That’s the star of this strange story – not entirely serious, quite satirical in places, featuring great character studies, but ultimately a disappointment.

This is set in an unspecific period, although the grotesque adverts that occasionally flash across television sets is distinctly early 80s. The styles employed by the staff at the clothes emporium have a 1920s severity about them.

Marianne Jean-Baptiste is great as Jill, a normal, cheerful woman who surrounds herself mostly with deeply unpleasant people. Two of her managers at work, wonderfully played by Julian Barrett and Steve Oram, provide the kind of caustic ridiculousness only employers can provide. Her real troubles begin, though, when she is sold the dress from a department store straight out of a Dario Argento film.

The next person to inherit the dress, albeit somewhat unlikely, is Reg Speaks (Leo Bill), a washing machine repairer. He could have been a Mike Leigh caricature and seems a little out of place compared with the wondrous ordinariness of Sheila.

My problems with this eccentric piece is that none of the characters’ stories are resolved – far from it, in fact, which seems to be deliberate. I found that lack of closure deeply frustrating, a perversion too far. When the sudden ending brought the curtain down, I was left with the feeling that this was very nearly a surreal success – but not quite. 7 out of 10.

A strange box is delivered to a 77 year old granny who lives in a big house with her son, his wife and their two children. The man delivering the box, Uncle Jim (Mike Waugh), could said to be the black sheep of the family – which is some achievement, because this is one of the most appalling collections of human beings ever collected in one vicinity. From little blond poppet Charlie, who hides in a cardboard whenever his idiocy upsets someone, to the daughter’s boyfriend, who, on his way to announce he’s impregnated the girl, helps himself to the contents of the fridge and sits there eating with his ear-buds in.

As the film progresses, I understand the requirement to make the family as objectionable as they are for the sake of the storyline and their place in it, but it is impossible to side with this gang even when things get desperate.

The delivered box contains the titular CGI creature – not badly achieved, and as good an actor as most of the cast. The story involves giving the box to the one you love to save yourself. Uncle Jim gave it to his own mother, the charmer.

Only by the bizarre ensuing situation brings these horrible people together. It’s difficult to decide who I dislike the most, but it certainly isn’t the gremlin.

My favourite line goes to Detective Morris Patterson (Michael Anthony Page) when the plot is explained to him: “That’s the biggest load of f****** b******* I ever heard.”

The film is rather better than that though, and the ending is very effective. My score is 7 out of 10.

This Spanish horror does exactly as it says on the tin. Featuring the bizarre and bloody activities of serial killer Antonio Frau (Fernando Acaso), released after 25 years in prison, he rids the world of the prostitutes he clearly feels need ‘cleansing’.

The failures of the leniency of the judicial system are explored and exploited here. Why the police don’t swoop on Frau the moment the killings begin is a bit of a mystery, but he’s living a respectably double life, seemingly as a cover. The ending comes as a slight disappointment after the terrors of the 95 minutes running time.

Other than that, this is a very well played, stylishly directed and compelling film. The acting is terrific, with some particularly enthusiastic torture scenes – we don’t actually see any graphic cutting or slicing, but we see the reactions to it, which might even be more disturbing; sometimes less is more. There’s a nice cameo from veteran actor Antonio Mayans too; it would have been nice to have seen more from him.

The setting is also a big part of why the film is so effective. Run down and evocatively filmed – lots of seedy greens and yellows – and frequently spattered with a lot of blood. My score is 7 out of 10.

Released in 1932 and directed by Robert Florey and starring Bela Lugosi. Both had moved on, or been moved on, from production on the previous year’s ‘Frankenstein’ once James Whale and Boris Karloff showed up – ‘Rue Morgue’ was based on a tale by Edgar Allan Poe. Poe stories would provide film goers with many thrills and chills over the following years.

‘Rue Morgue’ never achieved the popularity of ‘Frankenstein’, ‘Dracula’ or the forthcoming ‘The Mummy’, and while this is beautifully filmed and enthusiastically acted (especially by Lugosi and top billed Sidney Fox), it’s not difficult to see why. Whereas the other films have very clearly defined monsters/villains, here evildoings are shared between Dr. Mirakle (Lugosi), a mad scientist, and Erik, an ape. Equally, where the other films have straightforward stories, this often verges on the incomprehensible. We’re clearly meant to be booing Mirakle but it’s not clear exactly why.

Despite that, this is a triumph of mood, despite some misplaced humour that lacks the darkness of Whale’s touch. Florey was a fine director but seemed continually to miss out on opportunities – he makes a great job of this, but the story isn’t as polished as it might be. At Universal’s insistence, close-ups of man-in-a-suit Erik are provided by a real life monkey. The creature looks frightening, but is clearly a very different looking animal, and his movements often don’t match the action. Would the film have been more successful without this and other examples of studio interference? We’ll never know. My score is 7 out of 10.

Ranae (Madeline Conway) is employed to babysit Miller, a sleeping toddler of a family with a tragic past. Before long, her friends turn up – the usual collection of fairly objectionable teens – and things start getting nasty.

This is a fairly enjoyable slasher production. Nice to see the youngsters settling down to watch Bela Lugosi in ‘The Devil Bat’, even if they do scoff at it! Jeremy, the sole male, is the most objectionable of the lot, so as usual with these things, the audience is begging for him to be dispatched.

What transpires is quite an effective shocker featuring as a villain, someone who bears a striking resemblance to Samara from ‘The Ring.’ The killings are often quite satisfying and Christopher A. Micklos’s writing and direction keep things moving. My score is 6 out of 10.

This is an enjoyable haunted house story set in 1974 Yorkshire. It doesn’t take long after a new family move into the house, before creepy things start to happen. Focussing mainly on the daughter Sally (Tasha Connor), we’re spared arduous scenes of parents failing to believe her stories of ghostly reflections and misbehaving electrical items, because the poltergeist activity soon becomes widespread.

Based on a true story, the star of this show is its attention to period detail. While some long shots might reveal anachronistic satellite dishes occasionally, everything else is spot on. For those of who vaguely remember the 1970s, this provides a genuine nostalgic twinge every so often.

I liked all the characters, especially the juveniles, who are tricky to get right. A special mention for salty Father Clifton (Bernie Lewis).

Swinging light shades can be far more frightening than a wealth of CGI, as the finale proves. Low-key these frights may be, but they were enough to get under my skin a few times. My score is 8 out of 10.

This opens with a pastiche of the first few moments of 1931’s Frankenstein, when one of the cast steps on stage to address the audience and warn them of the horrors to come.

It takes a while to get going, despite the mix of events happening in real time and flashback. Two gas station attendants working the night shift are terrorised and subjected to various brutal horrors, and their isolation is well realised by Director Søren Juul Petersen.

What follows is an entertaining ride, with a fair bit of gore thrown in. The nature of the horror would be to drift into spoiler territory. The situation is not a new one, and might have been conveyed more stylishly than here, but I enjoyed this ride, especially as I didn’t know which way events would turn. My score is 7 out of 10.

Three paranormal investigators explore an abandoned house: older, occasionally prickly Scott (Jeffrey Thomas), easy going Liam (Jed Brophy) and noticeably underplayed Holly (Laura Peterson). Holly is keen on wearing shorts and thigh-length socks – when she changes into more standard jeans, her acting seems to come to life!

Director and co-writer Jason Stutter goes for a slow burning atmosphere, where the regularity of gentle scares becomes increasingly creepy, and the familiarity of the excellent haunted house set/location allows us to anticipate that things are going to get scary even before they do. There’s a reasonably effective twist too, but once that has been revealed, the action steps up and things aren’t quite as successful. For a leisurely moving horror, the pay-off is disappointingly brief and non-conclusive, although on second viewing, I enjoyed it more, knowing what was to come.

This isn’t the only story where the journey is more interesting than the destination, but it’s a shame that a carefully layered story should feature a finale that casts a comparatively lacklustre shadow over it all. My score is 7 out of 10.

An independent feature, clearly a passion for Steven M. Smith, who has a hand in all levels of production, and plays the role of the uncommunicative taxi driver. The story ultimately seems to be inspired by The Wicker Man, but with a manic living doll thrown in.

Brendan Cobbs is a writer suffering from ‘the block’. Naturally in a horror film, it is suggested he temporarily relocates to an isolated cottage with no phone or internet – a situation that leaves him vulnerable to the oncoming nastiness.

I quite enjoyed this, although the storyline seems deliberately vague and the dialogue is often filled with apocalyptic dialogue nobody would actually say. Technically, it’s very good for a low budget horror, with some creepy cinematographic moments and some good performances; Jon-Paul Gates is good as Brendan, as is Kit Pascoe as The Seductress. 6 out of 10.