Film Reviews by NP

I usually try to go into films without knowing anything about them, but afterwards it is often interesting to find out more about their production.

‘The Mask of Thorn’ is the second part of a trilogy. This concerns perceived do-gooder Bethany Lovell (Eve Kathryn Oliver), who suffers from suspiciously overbearing parents and an inability to fit in with her schoolmates.

To add to her troubles, the mysterious Thorn turns up to pursue her. Nice camerawork and lighting don’t disguise the fact that he’s an actor (Atticus Machiavellian – really?) in a mask (of Thorn, presumably, which is fair enough). He’s even been given glowing eyes to make him more frightening. What really sells him, apart from his predilection for violence and killing (often in the same manner) is the sound design. Guttural breathing and snarling has rarely sounded so meaty.

Some acting is dire, some not so bad - there’s a character in a horrendous 70s wig (this is set in the 80s). Conversely, my favourite character is foul-mouthed Julia (Lydia Cashman), whose line-up of expletives is wonderful.

For anyone who criticises the clearly tiny budget on display, MJ Dixon (the director responsible for the enjoyable ‘Haunting of Molly Bannister’ and ‘Cleaver: Killer Clown’) productions are a labour of love, financed by himself and fanbase crowdfunding enterprises. While the end result doesn’t always match the admirable intent, it certainly has moments of interest and effectiveness. My score is 6 out of 10.

This is a micro-budgeted chiller directed with a great deal of flair by MJ Dixon. It tells of a fragmented family, and the youngest daughter’s apparently malevolent doll. It reminds me more than a little of Andrew Jones’ ‘Theatre of Fear/The Midnight Horror Show (2014)’ in that there is very effective use made of close-ups, blurred imagery, creepy lighting and the camera prowling around ve-ee-ery slowly; just as something threatens to reveal itself, we move briskly to another scene. It’s all very effective.

It isn’t without its problems. In close-up, the titular doll is quite eerie looking, again mainly due to the muggy lighting; viewed at other times, it looks distinctly unthreatening and ordinary. It’s also true to say that often, the acting is flat, and that kills off much of the carefully layered atmosphere.

For the most part, I really enjoyed this and often found myself genuinely chilled by it.

The soundtrack, by Hockeymask Heroes, adds greatly to the unnerving atmosphere. My score is 6 out of 10.

This anaemic and little known horror film from the 1960s has some good moments and performances from its little-known cast – but its lack of gore or horror atmosphere makes the 84 minutes something of a slog.

This is made by the company Planet Film Productions, who are perhaps best known for their Terence Fisher-directed ‘Island of Terror’, which involved Peter Cushing fighting jelly monsters called Silicates. Perhaps the word ‘genteel’ describes the company’s output, or less kindly, ‘dull’.

I admire anyone for wanting to create something horror-based; it is my favourite genre by far. With all due respect to everyone involved here, it seems they have little idea how to tap into to any kind of unsettling atmosphere, any way in which to raise a few scares or much in the way of tension.

While the ceremonies and debonair French vampires have an unusual and enjoyable quality, you have to sit through talky scenes of no consequence to get to them. Day for night filming takes place, but is so ineffectual, the night-creatures appear to be walking around in sunshine. Director Lance Comfort, for whom this was his last film, makes fine use of colour, giving this low budget venture a bright veneer, with some lush red used for the cultists’ ceremonies.

Hammer films had become a force to be reckoned with long before this was released, and watching ‘Devils of Darkness’ makes it easy to see why: Hammer had a company style, which ran right up to their final releases, that has proven difficult to emulate. Subsequent Planet Films would hire Hammer alumni and still struggle to generate the elder company’s technique.

A mainly bloodless piece with a spiralling storyline, ‘Devils of Darkness’ isn’t a bad film, but it isn’t a terribly good one either. My score is 6 out of 10.

Dad, two bratty kids and sassy teen daughter we’re encouraged to fancy (determinedly unimpressed, wielded to her headphones and manicured perfectly to look like a goth call girl), move into a new house. The house has a past, of course, and spooky things happen. We’ve seen it many times before.

Having said that – other than the *vile* kids, for whom every precocious act is dismissed with an excuse – this solid story is well done. The creepy incidents are regular and well handled and the look of the house, both inside and out, is agreeably sinister.

The problem is, Dad John’s three offspring are so much more repellent than any horrors the story offers, that it really harms the film – or at least, my experience watching it. Todd Lowe plays the hapless John well, but he earns his money on this project.

Of course, you’d move out as soon as things started happening, wouldn’t you? That is a common challenge with these kind of films – the balance is in making the characters need to stay at the residence worth putting up with unwelcome supernatural activity. Whether ‘The Remains’ succeeds in that department is up to the individual. My score is 6 out of 10.

You’ve probably seen film like this before; I know I have. However, if you’re in the mood for a haunted house-type horror, we could both do a lot worse!

The acting is excellent, the scares are carefully piled up, the characters are flawed but appealing – even the caterwauling child is a genuine cutie. When the relationship deteriorates between the couple, it’s actually effective because as the audience, we are made to care about them both. Tianna Nori and Mark Matechuk are believable as Joanna and Jeff, both imperfect, but both likeable. There’s not a bad performance on show, but this story certainly belongs to the couple.

Possibly as the end credits roll, you’ll be struck how this fails to break any new ground, but events are unravelled so expertly, you’ll have enjoyed the ride anyway. My score is 8 out of 10.

Relishing in its micro-budget, ‘The Cellar’ – otherwise known as ‘Do You Like My Basement’ – is set almost entirely in one location. Claustrophobic, unsettling, and viewed mainly through the camera lens of film-maker Stanley Farmer (Charlie Floyd), this cellar plays host to visiting characters who are well played and often a little larger than life. This lifts the story and stops it becoming as dull as such a thin story might otherwise have been.

Not that there isn’t incident, and some of it impressively nasty. Farmer is an impressive narrator, never letting the fact that his filmic efforts have thus far been ignored. He is clearly determined to make what is almost a snuff movie, possibly for his own entertainment, or possibly to ‘break’ the market – despite the fact that he is desperately unhinged.

I enjoyed this. It has a vein of dark humour running through it - imagine a cut-price Saw film featuring a Jigsaw wannabe. What it lacks in sophistication, it makes up for in the seedy isolated obsession of its main character. My score is 7 out of 10.

The acting isn’t always stellar and the effects sometimes scream CGI, but as disaster films go, I’ve seen a lot worse. A real effort is made to portray life after another ice age, and the characters are genuinely likeable – which means the audience is given reason to care about them.

Where things fall down is a sense of dullness as the story attempts to keep the momentum going, with the endless display of jeopardy getting a little wearing. It’s worth sticking around for though because there’s no let up in pace, especially toward the end. My score is 6 out of 10.

This is a wonderfully original horror story involving an Army Veteran (Fern Sreaves, played by Leven Rambin), who returns home to discover a lone boy in the forest surrounding her home. The child, Cecil, is (mercifully) played in a very appealing fashion by Landon Edwards. Any sign of precociousness sometimes displayed by juvenile performers would have destroyed the story – because Cecil might not be an ordinary boy. As Fern is warned by several family members and townsfolk, there are rumours about a deadly spirit in the form of a child. When Fern begins to get sick, events take on a yet darker turn …

I really enjoyed this film. Director and co-writer Ramaa Mosley has crafted a terrific, increasingly compelling and mysterious tale that manages to be occasionally unnerving and sinister without employing much in the way of traditional horror trappings. Because of this, some viewers might feel a little short-changed by the lack of traditional scares and effects. For me, this wonderful looking, rustic, haunted woodlands story is very enjoyable and in places, genuinely moving. My score is 8 out of 10.

This is a strange production – by all accounts, a labour of love from director/writer Ashley Thorpe. Truly, the atmosphere and sensitivities of a 1920/1930 horror film are recreated here, albeit with layers of modern (mainly computer generated) techniques. As such, nothing is ever quite real, no location is completely convincing – which results in a very odd (and unique) overall ‘look’.

To go deeper than that, the project has attracted some names among its cast – Jonathan Rigby, Reece Shearsmith and Julian Sands – who all enter into the spirit of the production with gusto.

The documentary style sadly robs the story of many of its dramatic possibilities. Allegedly, the most haunted house in England should be host to some terrifying moments or recollections, but there’s nothing that really makes it through the veneer of ubiquitous CGI enhancements. What we end up with ultimately is a curio – good to look at and effective for a while, but not much to sustain it for its 73 minutes. My score is 5 out of 10.

There are some cigarettes smoked in this film. In fact, the amount featured might have blown the budget, as some of the special effects are more than a little rough. Not to worry, we have top-billed Klaus Kinski playing a man apparently being driven mad, so we’re in for some enjoyably extreme theatrics, surely?

Well actually, no. Kinski is at the most restrained I’ve ever seen him. That powerhouse of rolling eyes and bared teeth is subdued and on his best behaviour – or as much as you can be given the circumstances. It’s strange seeing Kinski in the Edwidge Fenech/Dagmar Lassandra role (Nora Orland’s incidental score has definite echoes of his subsequent work on ‘The Strange Vice of Mrs Wardh’, starring Fenech in the titular role).

A fairly standard giallo, which has moments of great interest – usually involving Kinski.

For a film called ‘Day of the Dead: Bloodline’, this delivers what you would expect – nothing more, possibly slightly less. Rubber faced zombies stalk the city street set and deliver much theatrical bloodletting: cascades of the stuff shoot out toward the camera. Then we get to know the characters – sullen, pretty, some in love with each other, most just delivering deadpan military-isms: earnest recriminations and stoical retorts. Curiously, it’s a bit bland, the gore scenes committed perfunctorily, creepy moments and dark corners just the same as you will probably have seen before, rolled out with an alarming lack of tension.

In horror films such as this, heroic leads have to make illogical decisions. You could blame heightened emotions, the stress of the relentless apocalypse, or simply the need to place them in jeopardy. But they’re such a torpid bunch, you’re not really bothered about what happens to most of them.

Zoe, the main character, is well-meaning, pretty, brave, and is ultimately responsible for the death of hundreds. Most interesting is Max, the undead attempted rapist regularly taunted at close range by our heroes. My score for the film is 5 out of 10.

Nicely filmed stunning locations, brief moments of gore and horror, competent acting and sadly, one of the dullest films I’ve seen in a long time. There’s not a lot else I can say about this film, and that’s a shame, because the cast do as good a job as they possibly can.

José Ferrer as Nereus and Mary Louise Weller as Sherry are probably the best players, with Darth Vader James Earl Jones taking every opportunity to perform that famous growl and not much else. The monster that gives this project reason to describe itself as a horror film, is seen for barely five minutes before the perfunctory finale.

If you like looking at the beautiful country of Greece, you’ll enjoy this. Otherwise, whilst it isn’t a bad film, it is sadly bland and not really something I can highly recommend. My score is 4 out of 10.

This is the most technically accomplished of Andrew Jones’ North Bank Entertainments’ productions, and the most enjoyable since, I think, 2018’s ‘Jurassic Predator’.

Talky to begin with, it features decent acting throughout with a fine performance from noisy gum-chewer lead clown Don Taylor (Lee McQueen), and while the leafy, misty landscapes are clearly not anywhere near Utah, we do seem to get some cutaway shots of a snowy US state (the film is also titled ‘The Cabin Murders’) to lend some authenticity to the detail..

The interior location is the same as the one used for Jones’ 2017 ‘Cabin 28’, and this acts as a kind of sequel, with some characters returning from that film.

When the very likeable family are house-invaded, things take a decidedly nasty turn. There are moments of genuine shock - mainly fuelled by the fact that this was based on true events.

It’s good, nicely paced low-budget stuff and I had a great time with it. It’s restored my faith is North Bank Entertainment and hope this is the sign of similarly fine things to come. My score is 7 out of 10.

Joan Crawford tops the bill in this alleged thriller set in a circus where someone is killing off the acts. Sadly, at least two of the most interesting characters fall victim to the murderer. Crawford is in her sixties here, and yet the only person to comment adversely to her cooing naïve sweet nothings to hunky Frank (Ty Hawkins) is wayward daughter Judy Geeson.

Sadly, the real casualty here is the story. Despite strong performances from a suave Robert Hardy as Superintendent Brooks and an underused Geoffrey Keen as Commissioner Dalby, no progress is ever really made on catching the killer, therefore there’s no real sense of pace or progression. It comes to something when the most impressive scenes comprise of footage from a real circus, involving magnificent animals made to look silly by smiling, costumed humans. When the film’s running time comes to an end (SPOILER), the killer simply confesses and manages to escape despite running through a live circus packed with performers, public and police – but don’t worry: the killer is struck by lightning and is killed - very convenient, very anti-climactic. Also, Jim O'Connolly’s direction is sluggish and contains some strange choices – at one point, switching scenes abruptly, cutting off a line of dialogue. There’s even a musical number towards the end, just to obfuscate the mood even more.

Joan Crawford’s long career had some ups and downs: many people view her final film ‘Trog’ as her least enjoyable. I would say ‘Berserk!’ actually trumps that. The odd gory moment seems very out of place in a sadly dull production, which is the biggest sin of all, especially using – or under-using – a fine cast including Michael Gough, Diana Dors, Philip Madoc all attempting to breathe life into proceedings. My score is 5 out of 10.

I like films that are complex and difficult to follow – it makes me think the brains behind the production operate on a wider plane than mine, and it is good to be guided through a twisted narrative by such a lead. But this potentially interesting story seems to be made up of two separate films bolted together.

A family of moderately irritating people move to an isolated cabin and find an injured woman in the surrounding woods (Barbara Crampton, who in a prolific career, played Anne Sacchetti in the excellent ‘We Are Still Here.’) As is often the case, they become a lot less aggravating once dark things start occurring. On that score, the production cannot be faulted.

As we go through the events of the story, all the strange inserts make a certain amount of sense, but some remain delightfully ambiguous. The ending is a wonderfully gory mess, but doesn’t have quite the impact it would have done if we had got to know more clearly what is going on and had a better understanding of the characters. My score is 6 out of 10.