Rent The Phoenician Scheme (2025)

Wes Anderson–Now Available in Beige - The Phoenician Scheme review by griggs

The Phoenician Scheme is Wes Anderson in soft focus—a film so buttoned-up it forgets to breathe. The dollhouse compositions, whimsical deadpan, and gallery of gentle eccentrics are all present. Still, it’s like someone swapped out the espresso for herbal tea. The colour palette is washed out, the pace dawdles and Benicio Del Toro keeps repeating that he feels “very safe.” He’s not wrong. Anderson plays it safe, too—no real jeopardy, sharp edges, just a muted stroll through melancholy miniatures.

Michael Cera, who usually triggers a full-body cringe, somehow sneaks past my defences, delivering a low-key performance that works in this oddly sedate world. But Mia Threapleton quietly lifts the whole thing, slipping out with the film’s emotional core tucked in her coat pocket. She’s the pulse in a movie that often feels like it’s under sedation.

The narrative is more straightforward than Anderson’s recent jigsaw puzzles, but strangely, it still lands with a thud. There’s an episodic drift that never quite connects to something meaningful. By the time the credits roll, you’re unsure what was at stake—or if it mattered. What might’ve been wry or charming comes across as wistful, almost mournful. It’s Anderson with all the props and none of the pep.

Hard Work - The Phoenician Scheme review by KB

I always like to check out Andersons films because they are a bit different and not mainstream but i enjoyed his old films (Tenenbaums & Life Aquatic) more than some of his more recent films .Although i liked Isle of Dogs & Asteroid City was decent i found this one hard going & confusing .Although i appreciate the style & effort that has gone into this i didn't find it that enjoyable .

Good-looking but Baffling, Absurd, Pretentious & Pointless Movie - but it'ss Wes Anderson film, so.. - The Phoenician Scheme review by PV

I have tried to watch and like Wes Anderson films, I really have. I have NO idea how he gets funding and attracts all-star casts for his unfunny pointless movies - whatever sense of humour is allegedly here is definitely not mine.

Great cast. Pointless absurd surreal non-story. It LOOKS good, the composition of shots like still life paintings, with balance of figures, buildings, colours etc. THAT is why it has 2 stars not one.

Remember, I hate Wes Anderson films more than those of any other director working now. I hated Tenenbaums & Life Aquatic & Isle of Dogs & Asteroid City - I did not finish watching any of them, turned off after half an hour or more (I always wait till the first plot point). Just awful. Not my cup of tea. AN issue of taste. What baffles me is why others love them so, including the excellent actors and stars WA always gets to act in his movies. I just do not get it, any of it,.

I endured it rather than enjoyed it, right till the end where, bizarrely, some old paintings are shown over the credit. I liked the paintings.

2 stars. JUST.