Film Reviews by porky

Welcome to porky's film reviews page. porky has written 258 reviews and rated 258 films.

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Strapped

Strapped ?....for cash maybe

(Edit) 10/01/2020

A Night in the life of a Hustler .

Charming and Erotically Comic ,Whores tour of an apartment block which is Mostly Home to a Large Gay Population of all sorts and ages .

A Sexual Chameleon becoming whoever it is the punter wants to find on the stairs to their home.

Not the best Gay Movie ever but a sweet idealistic view of Hustling .

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G.B.F.

A Coming Out Mean Girls !

(Edit) 10/01/2020

High School is Bitchy, Complicated and Competitive.

Especially when you have just been Accidentally Outed to the Whole School and the Latest Fashion Trend is a BGF (Best Gay Friend)

Prom , New Best Friends ,Sex and Parties .

Funny little Comedy. Really just a Gay Inclusive version of Mean Girls .

Good for a laugh and light entertainment enough for all . even if you are not Gay .

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Piercing

Piercingly Original

(Edit) 06/01/2020

Didnt really know what to expect and as it started it looked a bit low budget and crappy but it was actually Very Clever and Brilliantly filmed.

Very Darkly Comic and rather disturbing . Twists and Turns ,Where will it go to next .

2 Damaged Souls Trapped in a Struggle with their Inner Demons and Playing them Out with Each Other .

Brilliant Movie, Well Worth Watching more than the once .

i think I may even Purchase a copy .

PS Bad Reviews below are from 'Formulaic Text Book Horror Lovers',that didn't understand the idea of Mental Illness and Inner Demons Taking Over your Life .

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Mom and Dad

Kind Of Anti-parenting

(Edit) 06/01/2020

We Don't really discover WHY This happens but it is rather Fun all the same.

Violent and Aggressive Feelings Overtake All Parents to Kill Their Own Children ,and Only Their Own.

Not material for Fun and Laughter ,but when the Grandparents arrive to Kill the Parents trying to Kill their Kids it gets Darkly Funny.

Gross Out as the Effects are ,The Grandparents scene was Hysterically Funny and I laughed Out Loud as Grandma flew past the window .

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Rabid

Rabidly Dull

(Edit) 31/12/2019

This was Soo Boring I almost Forgot to write a review for it .

The main Female Lead is such a Miserable Baggage that when she gets around to Killing innocent people she actually seems a lot friendlier tbh .

Do yourself a favour and watch the original from the 1970's by David Cronenberg ,its a Much Better Movie.

I actually gave up on this before it finished . my mind just wandered and I ended up on facebook scrolling instead I was so bored .

It isn't Total Crap to be fair,but it also isn't Good either .

I never want to sit through it again anyway .

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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Once Upon a Yawn

(Edit) 28/12/2019

Good Grief , Possibly the Most Boring Movie I've seen this year .Some Really Bad Acting ,Lots of Characters based on Famous people we know but within the movie we find out very little or nothing about and NOTHING Happens for almost all the movie and then something happens but its all over in 5 minutes then Nothing happens again. Finnish. and None of this is worth sitting down to watch ,Tedium like Toothache builds up within your chest and head and then its over and you can never ever think about it again.

Dont Bother .

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Halloween at Aunt Ethel's

Halloween Porno Crap

(Edit) 18/12/2019

Seriously Bad ,It has only got the Star Rating it has Generally because of the Nudity , Lots of Bare Tits .

Looks like it was made by Cheap Porn Actors by someone trying to make Horror for a Laugh.

Really Rubbish Story, Rubbish Acting, Rubbish Effects and Camera Work.Rubbish Script.

Give it a Wide Berth unless you want to look at some Tits .

1 out of 1 members found this review helpful.

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Double Date

Double Trouble

(Edit) 18/12/2019

For a Brit Low Budget Movie it is actually Very Good.

Not really what you would call Scary , its more of a Horror Black Comedy .But without much Comedy tbh.

But its not a bad Film.I enjoyed it and would happily watch it again .

Great Cast, everyone gives a Class Performance . and the Story/Script isn't bad either which can be the Death of anything Low Budget .

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The Catherine Tate Show: Nan's Xmas Carol

What a Load of Old S@*T !

(Edit) 13/12/2019

Very Funny Re-Imagining of 'A Christmas Carol' , should have been made into a Full Length Movie .Would have been Great fun .

Easily Tate's Funniest Character .

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Nativity Rocks!

Nativity didnt Rock like it should have

(Edit) 13/12/2019

Sadly Missing Mr Poppy , His missing /estranged Brother Mr Poppy 2 takes over as the Comedy aspect.

Its OK ,once you get past the change of Casting and Loss of Poppy 1 and get to know Poppy 2.

Pretty much the same idea yet again. Down Trodden Kids Do Well in the End ,with an added story line of Illegal Immigration ,Adoption and Bad Parenting .

None were as good as the First Nativity! but you get the picture , This one is pretty much on a par with the other 2.

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Suspiria

Suspected Garbage Pretending it s Art.

(Edit) 08/12/2019

I never enjoyed the original ,It always LOOKED better than it actually was.Style over Content , and the Same goes for this version.

Very Flimsy Story Dragged out Far Too Long and Forced into the Shape of an Arty Film about Dancers when it really is just a very basic Horror about Witches with very little actual magic involved..

Couldn't wait for the end to come soon enough just seemed to Go On and On and On.....and really Do Nothing Very Interesting .

And I have Absolutely NO Idea WHY they bothered making Tilda Swinson Look like an Old Man , I thought it might be part of the story that she was the same person in some Big Reveal ,But it wasn't ...she just clearly wanted to Stretch her Range as an actress and waste an absolute fortune on Makeup...playing 2 Characters.

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Stuber

Stupider

(Edit) 08/12/2019

Entertaining enough for a Stupidly Obvious Comedy Movie ,Lots of Slapstick and Action when a Cop Hires an UBER to Fight Gang Crime.

Only more so as This Cop is Blind. all be it Temporary after Laser Eye Surgery .

What could possibly Go Wrong ?

1 out of 2 members found this review helpful.

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Tucked

Tucked deeply in my Heart

(Edit) 04/12/2019

I Absolutely Loved this ,Simple yet Very Touching little movie about the last few weeks of an Ageing Drag Performers Life .

A Bucket List and Family to deal with when you've so little time left to do it all.

Great Lead Performance ,should get an Award but will be overlooked due to the Movie's Low Budget and LGBTQ Nature .

Well worth seeing if Drag has any interest for you,But also it is a Touching Reunion of a Father and Estranged Daughter ,A New Friendship and End of Live Journey we can all delight in and feel for .

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Tales from the Lodge

Tales that go Nowhere

(Edit) 04/12/2019

Nice idea , Quirky little Story line, but quite badly realised.

Shame ,it really could have been much better .

Old Chums gather to see off a Mutual Friend at a Remote Holiday Cottage Owned by the deceased .

Telling Tales as the day passes ,each tale a mini Scare Story which sadly go nowhere and just fill time .

The Whole Trip turns out to be Nothing like they Expected with a Twist Ending you can kind of see coming a Mile Off .

Worth a Watch ,but don't expect much, Low Budget ,Some pretty Bad Acting from a bunch of British Character and Comedy Actors .

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The Hole in the Ground

Whole lot of Hole

(Edit) 30/11/2019

For a Low Budget Horror made in Ireland ,it was Really Very Good and Looks Pretty Hollywood in Budget Size .

Great Acting, Great Effects, Great Story. Deeply Disturbing and Creepy .

Well Worth Seeing more than the once.

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