Film Reviews by porky

Welcome to porky's film reviews page. porky has written 267 reviews and rated 264 films.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Cryptic

Crypt full of Dogs

(Edit) 03/04/2020

Fun little mix up of styles and genres .

Entertaining little movie, well made ,looks good,stylishly shot.Funny and a British low budget class act.

Horror ? Thriller ? Comedy ? Crime Caper ? imagine Tarantinos Reservouir Dogs made into a Hammer Horror .

Keeps you watching with all its different characters interacting in such a small space with a fun idea that SOMETHING is in a Coffin and they hav eto Watch it ...But WHAT ?

In Fighting ,Criminal Activity,Clash of Personality all make this a tense and exciting ride whilst confined to a Locked Crypt.

Well worth watching ,rather clever for a low budget home grown movie , great cast ,great acting ,fun script.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Killer Party

Killer Party ,just dont ask for an Invite !

(Edit) 03/04/2020

Great ,I loved it . kind of a Cross between 'Purge' and 'Ready or Not ' but with an added twist.

Darkly Funny ,Rather Sickly Murderous, Extremely Violent , Tense and Fun.

Well worth seeing more than once . and Very Entertaining .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Killer Party

Killer Party ,just dont ask for an Invite !

(Edit) 03/04/2020

Great ,I loved it . kind of a Cross between 'Purge' and 'Ready or Not ' but with an added twist.

Darkly Funny ,Rather Sickly Murderous, Extremely Violent , Tense and Fun.

Well worth seeing more than once . and Very Entertaining .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Revenge

I Spit on your Revenge

(Edit) 03/04/2020

Very much in the 'I Spit On Your Grave ' revenge movie genre .This is a very good version, I would say Far Better than the 'I Spit' Remakes.

Interesting mix of French and English language throughout .

Very Violent, Gorey and Grusome Effects ,Tense, Beautifully made , Very Entertaining with a High Quality Finish .

Well worth more than one viewing .possibly my Favourite Revenge Movie .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

The Horror Network

Horror Network ? hmmm

(Edit) 03/04/2020

I LOVE Horror Anthology Movies . All of them .....Sadly however I have found one I Hate .

This one is lacking One Main Addition....... the Horror .

I can watch Anthologies over and over and usually love how different all the segments are and never get bored seeing them .

Sadly THIS is not one of them, I never want to sit through that utter crap again.

it really is a Bad Movie, not Sooo Bad it is Good. Not Soo Extremely Bad you must watch it just to laugh at it .NO .Just Boringly Bad enough never to bother with it again.

5x tales of Horror in this movie. I've just watched it and i cant remember a single one .

Just Dont Put Ypurself Through This ,unless you are having trouble sleeping and need something Strong to get you asleep .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Videoman

Video Geek

(Edit) 25/01/2020

Quite an interesting and convoluted Low Budget Swedish Movie.

Hard to know what kind of movie it is because it doesn't really fit any specific genre category very well .

It is listed above as a Horror /Thriller but really it is a Social Commentary on Loneliness,Social Dysfunction ,Obsession and also a Love Story .

Certainly worth a look. and rather a sweet romance story via its Thriller/Horror Roots and Damaged ,obsessive collecting /geeky/nerd characters .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Our Evil

Devilishly Good

(Edit) 24/01/2020

I loved this movie, It is not well made but it delivers anyway. Subtitles for any non Spanish/Brazilian Speakers .

It is a Low Budget ,Slow Moving ,Occasionally Gory and Really Rather Disturbing Mix of Serial Killings,Assassin Hits,Demonic Possession ,Haunting and Twisted Outcomes.

Acting of the Main Character is pretty Bad to be honest ,But the Story is a Good One so the Acting is acceptable.and all the secondary Actors are really very good , Effects are also very Good ,giving at some stages the feel you are watching Snuff and not Fiction .

I would certainly give this a thumbs up,and consider owning it as it is likely to disappear over time being a Low Budget oddity as it is too Good not to watch again in the Future .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Cage

Caged Bird

(Edit) 20/01/2020

Firstly, It is actually a very Good Movie,.

The ending was a little bit silly but not Bad ,just tying it into what it did (don't want to ruin the plot with a spoiler) Connecting it to an actual News Incident like it did ,seemed to make it actually less believable and a bit Daft.

But otherwise it was Entertaining ,if not Deeply Frustrating and a bit Claustrophobic .

It is probably worth more than 3 Stars but not really 4 but we don't really get a Half point option .

ie; I More than just 'LIKED' it but I didn't 'REALLY LIKE' it .Meaning I would certainly watch it again but Wouldn't attempt to Own it on DVD.

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

The Witch in the Window

The Witch can keep that window .

(Edit) 20/01/2020

Not a Bad Movie.... Pretty Bad Spooky Effects /Almost None ,

Basic Old Lady in the House story but absolutely NO Explanation for why it is all happening .

Slightly Unsatisfactory Ending too.

Certainly worth watching ,but not something I will ever bother to sit and watch again. It is an OK Movie, just not really much of a Horror .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Strapped

Strapped ?....for cash maybe

(Edit) 10/01/2020

A Night in the life of a Hustler .

Charming and Erotically Comic ,Whores tour of an apartment block which is Mostly Home to a Large Gay Population of all sorts and ages .

A Sexual Chameleon becoming whoever it is the punter wants to find on the stairs to their home.

Not the best Gay Movie ever but a sweet idealistic view of Hustling .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

G.B.F.

A Coming Out Mean Girls !

(Edit) 10/01/2020

High School is Bitchy, Complicated and Competitive.

Especially when you have just been Accidentally Outed to the Whole School and the Latest Fashion Trend is a BGF (Best Gay Friend)

Prom , New Best Friends ,Sex and Parties .

Funny little Comedy. Really just a Gay Inclusive version of Mean Girls .

Good for a laugh and light entertainment enough for all . even if you are not Gay .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Piercing

Piercingly Original

(Edit) 06/01/2020

Didnt really know what to expect and as it started it looked a bit low budget and crappy but it was actually Very Clever and Brilliantly filmed.

Very Darkly Comic and rather disturbing . Twists and Turns ,Where will it go to next .

2 Damaged Souls Trapped in a Struggle with their Inner Demons and Playing them Out with Each Other .

Brilliant Movie, Well Worth Watching more than the once .

i think I may even Purchase a copy .

PS Bad Reviews below are from 'Formulaic Text Book Horror Lovers',that didn't understand the idea of Mental Illness and Inner Demons Taking Over your Life .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Mom and Dad

Kind Of Anti-parenting

(Edit) 06/01/2020

We Don't really discover WHY This happens but it is rather Fun all the same.

Violent and Aggressive Feelings Overtake All Parents to Kill Their Own Children ,and Only Their Own.

Not material for Fun and Laughter ,but when the Grandparents arrive to Kill the Parents trying to Kill their Kids it gets Darkly Funny.

Gross Out as the Effects are ,The Grandparents scene was Hysterically Funny and I laughed Out Loud as Grandma flew past the window .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Rabid

Rabidly Dull

(Edit) 31/12/2019

This was Soo Boring I almost Forgot to write a review for it .

The main Female Lead is such a Miserable Baggage that when she gets around to Killing innocent people she actually seems a lot friendlier tbh .

Do yourself a favour and watch the original from the 1970's by David Cronenberg ,its a Much Better Movie.

I actually gave up on this before it finished . my mind just wandered and I ended up on facebook scrolling instead I was so bored .

It isn't Total Crap to be fair,but it also isn't Good either .

I never want to sit through it again anyway .

0 out of 0 members found this review helpful.

Write your review

100 characters remaining
4000 characters remaining

See our review guidelines and terms.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Once Upon a Yawn

(Edit) 28/12/2019

Good Grief , Possibly the Most Boring Movie I've seen this year .Some Really Bad Acting ,Lots of Characters based on Famous people we know but within the movie we find out very little or nothing about and NOTHING Happens for almost all the movie and then something happens but its all over in 5 minutes then Nothing happens again. Finnish. and None of this is worth sitting down to watch ,Tedium like Toothache builds up within your chest and head and then its over and you can never ever think about it again.

Dont Bother .

2 out of 3 members found this review helpful.
1234567891018

Help & support

Find answers to frequently asked questions and contact us should you need to

How It Works

See prices and levels and find out how Cinema Paradiso service works

Friends for Films

Invite your friends to join and get free subscription each month