Film Reviews by NP

A small American town pays host one Christmas to a maniac dressed as Santa Claus. Rather like Salem’s Lot, this town is frequented by often very flawed characters who one by one, succumb to terrifically staged, grisly fates.

My feeling at the beginning was that Sheriff James Cooper, played by the mighty Malcolm McDowell, who often seemed to magically turn up at the scene of the various crime, was somehow linked to the malevolent Claus. To cast McDowell as a mere Sheriff seemed unlikely to me. Maybe I was right?

Deputy Aubrey Bradimore (Jaime King) is the unfortunate who is seconded to the spree. Anytime any of the townsfolk are ‘naughty’ – and there are plenty who are – it seems Father Christmas isn’t far behind. You can hear his heavy breathing behind his improvised, bearded mask.

The running time is made up of sinners hiding behind a veneer of respectability, suspected by none except Santa. This makes him a kind of red-hatted avenging spirit. The premise and outrageous killings are over-the-top and often quite silly, and yet this remake of the 1984 ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night’ weaves in several plot moments from the real-life 2008 Covina massacre.

Director Steven C. Miller and writer Jayson Rothwell ensure that events are staged in a very television-drama style, and as such, the minor indiscretions of the characters have a soap-opera feel about them. For the ongoing fascination for a truly Bad Santa, this is enjoyable, but a fairly standard slasher.

With opening scene and credits, it would be easy to believe this was going to be a light-hearted Australian western romp. And indeed it is, but it also involves swathes of the living dead, and a running time that contains more depth and drama than is immediately apparent.

1870, and a hardened bounty hunter James Dalton leads a troupe of outlaws and a preacher across the unforgiving, open stretches of land of the old west. The outlaws are a quickly likeable bunch of ne'er-do-wells lead by the formidable, beautiful Annie Blake (Vanessa Moltzen). For no readily apparent reason (although this is covered later in flashbacks), the crazed living dead frequent the freight train they were about to board and after that, things become frequently horrific.

Humour makes regular appearances, however, but it is not unsuccessful and doesn’t detract from the overall mood. For example, the group, who have learned to trust each other by this time, are transporting themselves across the wasteland via a carriage pulled by zombie nuns chasing a dangling limb just out of their reach! For all the waywardness of that image, there is an undeniable frisson to be had watching hordes of the rotting creatures approaching across the dust tracks.

Possibly my biggest issue with this is the lack of make-up for the zombies, which lessens a couple of jump-scares and plot twists. As one-eyed Dalton, Christopher Summers is adequate, but lacks the presence of many of his co-stars. He is consistently outshone by Moltzen, for example.

‘Hawk the Slayer’ is a modestly budgeted sword-and-sorcery horror that has garnered a cult following and the promise of a number of sequels that have yet to materialise. The ending certainly indicates that the story is not yet over …

The cast is a very good one: Jack Palance delivers a typically enthusiastic performance as the half-faced Voltan, and there’s Bernard Bresslaw, Patricia Quinn, Christopher Benjamin, Annette Crosbie, Shane Briant, Roy Kinnear, Harry Andrews, Patrick Magee - and John Terry as the very earnest Hawk. Many of these were very familiar faces on UK television at the time.

I remember reviews at the time being scathing, and now it is viewed rather patronisingly as ‘so bad it is good.’ I’m not at all sure either is fair. It is very ‘of its time’, directed (and co-written, by Terry Marcell) very much like a television project and features a terrifically cheesy soundtrack (by Harry Robinson) reminiscent of Jeff Wayne’s ‘War of the Worlds’. It is played with gusto by the cast and features some mystical-looking locations and sets, often enhanced by the mist from an ever-present smoke-machine. The effects aren’t always impressive, but there is a sense of infectious, sly humour throughout that discourages us from taking things too seriously. So if you laugh at this, it seems to me, you’re laughing with it rather than at it.

With such an eccentric mix of characters and a ranting, spitting, snarling villain, it is perhaps inevitable that Terry’s ever-stoical hero is the blandest of them all. Yet other players flourish – Giant Gort (Bresslaw) and Baldin the dwarf (Peter O’Farrell) share such a good rapport, for example, ensuring that Palance isn’t allowed to entirely overshadow everyone else.

Fusing two words together to make a new one is a fad I blame ‘Sharknado’ for – tongue-in-cheek parodies promoted as cheap and cheerful Friday night films. I look forward to ‘Ghostvasion’, or ‘Zombislaught’. This, then, could be described as a ‘mockbuster’ riding on the success of Stephen King’s ‘It (2017)’. This film features a host of pretty young things in a town frequented by pretty young things, initially centring around a fast-food restaurant. There is one old fellow, Pops, who works there – he’s not young and he’s not pretty, so at first, my money was on him having something to do with the title’s evil-doer. Wouldn’t that be obvious?

I cannot really dislike this. One of the taglines is ‘balloons have never been so scary’, which immediately charms me. And there are plenty of bulbous red balloons that accompany the occasional murders. The titular menace, an apparently demonic creation, staggers around breathing hoarsely and the constant stings in the soundtrack remind us he is very frightening, which he isn’t, really.

That said, one of the later attacks, which takes place in someone’s kitchen, is rather good, especially when thick black vomit makes an appearance. As for The Clown, it’s never entirely clear what he actually is. Demonic, but made flesh – therefore, how can he physically be killed, or as happens here, arrested? Best not to worry and enjoy this lightweight chiller for what it is. With a title like ‘Clowntergeist’, it is clearly not trying to rewrite the horror genre. Directed and co-written by Aaron Mirtes, it has its moments, and the young cast are enthusiastic and likeable.

‘Nymphomaniac’ is a huge project written and directed by Lars von Trier. Trier has proven a controversial figure over the years, with his filmic output attracting similar contention and many awards (Shia LaBeouf, who stars as Jerome, has said about von Trier that he is ‘dangerous. He scares me. And I'm only going to work now when I'm terrified.’). Trier suffers from depression, and appears to inject some of his personality into the characters. This is my first experience of his work, and I absolutely love it.

A beautifully directed opening, simply featuring snow falling on an industrial landscape, water dripping from roofing, slowly reveals the beaten and broken figure of a young woman Joe. She is found by lonesome scholar, bachelor Seligman, whose quiet ways mask his erudite intelligence. When Joe stirs, she too, is very well spoken, very refined. After she refuses medical treatment, he takes her to his spacious but dilapidated home. Therein, with the falling snow outside acting as a constant backdrop, she tells him about herself. She is a self-diagnosed nymphomaniac, and despises herself for it. Using his own interests as a yardstick, Seligman interprets her self-loathing, often into something more positive. Joe’s stories are divided into various chapters, sometimes resulting in her destroying lives and relationships, sometimes not. Seligman’s precise and dispassionate synopsis is because he is a virgin and remains sexually unmoved by Joe’s forthright, graphic accounts.

Possibly the most disturbing chapter is 6. "The Eastern and the Western Church (The Silent Duck)", in which Joe visits ‘K’ (Jamie Bell) to assuage her never-ending sexual dependency. The violence inflicted upon her willing person is punishing and sadistic – and it comes at a heavy price: the loss of Joel and son Marcel. Here we are actually seeing the regular repercussions and personal consequences of her condition and it is horrific.

‘Nymphomaniac’ is fascinating throughout. The playing is exemplary, the direction beautifully contrasting the ramshackle calm of Seligman’s existence, and the unstoppable, often self-destructive calamity of Joe’s addiction to sex. Sometimes the scenes are extremely graphic for a brief time, but such is the surrounding story and reasons for her carnal addiction, they convey the nature of her being rather than shock. There is a poetic sense of symmetry to certain events, words and statistics that ensures many things come full circle. And ultimately, that the flaws of the characters dovetail each other in a very satisfying manner.

The cast list contains Charlotte Gainsburg and Stacey Martin as Joe at different ages, Stellan Skarsgård as Seligman, and features Christian Slater, Uma Thurman, William Defoe and Udo Kier amongst many other very talented, naturalistic actors. The excellent Mia Goth plays ‘P’ (Goth is starring in a forthcoming remake of ‘Suspiria’ in 2018). My only complaint would be that the actors playing young versions of the characters look unlike the older versions – that is, if everything else wasn’t so perfect. And perfect isn’t a word I have cause to use very often.

‘Nymphomaniac’ was released in two parts in the UK, but has a total running time of either 241 minutes or 325 minutes, depending on whether you see the uncut version or not. It has deservedly won multiple awards, including three for Trier himself. Devoting the time to watch is an undertaking, but is worth it, because your eyes will never dare to leave the screen.

This is a nicely acted film, basically a three-hander, featuring Abbey and Calvin (Angela DiMarco and David S. Hogan), a married couple and Abbey’s sister Rebecca (Kate Alden). They characters are meeting up to scatter the ashes of the sisters’ dead mother over a secluded lake, and also for them to build bridges following tragic events that are slowly revealed throughout. At the lakeside, Calvin discovers a black shiny ball that seems to contain strange properties. Following his study of the ball, Abbey begins to experience nightmares.

This a low budget and slightly ponderous story that requires the three otherwise likeable characters to earnestly try to ‘understand each other.’ The alien threat which slowly begins to manifest has caused ‘The Device’ to be compared to The X-Files, which is an understandable comparison. It is a quietly effective story, directed and co-written by Jeremy Berger, who slowly piles on the revelations and backstory in a measured way. Also, Calvin is of note in that he seems to alternate between trying to be rational, and acting downright suspiciously.

Paulie Rojas stars as Jordyn, a delicate young orphan celebrating her 18th birthday. This celebration opens up a journey of apparent demonic possession as Jordyn attempts to learn the truth about the mother who abandoned her all those years ago.

The very stylised slow-motion imagery and set-pieces contain some eerie moments, such as glimpses of a hooded figure watching Jordyn as the chemists where she works, but the onslaught of further jaunts into the supernatural threaten to become tediousness because of their determination not to progress the narrative in any way.

I love films that strive to do something different to tell a familiar story. I am also very fond of certain ‘arthouse’ films. ‘Mark of the Witch’ ticks both of those boxes, but unfortunately soon becomes dull viewing, with a plethora of threatening predictions directed towards Jordyn. Jason Bognacki deserves kudos for his immersive directional skills, and whilst I embrace the fact that arty films such as this dwell more on style than substance, his script for this might have benefitted from a few more actual incidents rather than a relentless see of beautiful looking obfuscation.

A group of seven beautiful young people go on a sun-kissed jungle vacation, which means lots of pristine skin and pearly white teeth. With this being a Spanish production, if you can bare the sight of such perfection, these characters are unaffected by the swagger and posturing attitude that continues to blight many horror films of this nature: they’re likeable, and the relationships with each other are real and even appealing. Vania Accinelli is particularly appealing as Lucero, constantly plagued by bad dreams and memories of a childhood that suggests an unspecific demonic abuse at the hands of her mother. As a result, her father initially forbids her to go on the trip with her associates.

Also very good is Ismael Contreras as Encargado, the creepy-eyed owner of the picturesque location. Without ever over-playing, Contreras lets us know Encargado has secrets, and on this occasion appears to have unleashed more than he bargained for.

With no real gore to speak of (until perhaps, the final reel), this is a film about atmosphere rather than jump-scares. When horrible things happen to the characters, it isn’t dwelt upon – the fact is, you like these people and don’t want them to die. Director Frank Pérez-Garland ensures the rolling locations are both a paradise and a prison. I really enjoyed this. The story may have been done before, or at least variations of it, but at least here, it is approached in a refreshing way.

The story begins as we meet a flustered paramedic Steve (Barry Thomas), level-headed Jay (Kris Tearse) and Sarah (Ruth King), who opens the film as the distraught daughter of a man clearly infected by zombie-type virus.

This is very low-budget, but Director Rhys Davies ensures it tells a story well within its means – although sometimes the blood-streaked heroes are difficult to differentiate from the equally blood-streaked walking dead. The setting is suitably drab and claustrophobic, and this doesn’t open into anything wider until the very end, when we are introduced to the extent of the infection.

There are enough twists in the storyline to keeps things moving. In true ‘Night of the Living Dead’ fashion, even those who do everything right to escape their situations fail to succeed. There are some convincingly gruesome effects.

I really enjoyed this. The main thrust of the project seems to be that there is no hope, no hope at all. Although some scenes are interspersed with the end credits offer a crumb of positivity. But don’t get too optimistic.

This slowly unravelling story features a typically intense performance from Ethan Hawke (as Detective Bruce Kenner), and features UK actors David Thewlis (Professor Kenneth Raines) and Emma Watson as the shy young victim at the centre of it all Angela Grey. It is written and directed with great, gloomy, foreboding flair by Alejandro Amenábar.

The cast are excellent, which is just as well during the early stages of ‘Regression’. This first act looks great, but could uncharitably be described as ‘a lot of people standing around talking.’ This is a necessary price to pay if you are to appreciate and fully understand the twists and turns events subsequently take.

The lack of traditional jump scares indicates this is intended as a subtle, thinking person’s horror and as such, works very well. Grey’s burgeoning friendship with Kenner is charming and you feel pleased she is beginning to see an end to the traumas she has been put through. She is very easy to sympathise with, as Grey discovers. And yet it is a mistake to take anything at face value, because in true demonic possession style, things are not always as they seem.

Despite being top billed, Watson isn’t in this a whole lot, and yet events circle around the character of Grey. Watson has become a somewhat controversial figure, with some questioning her talents as an actress and others lauding them. It is difficult to know why this is. Perhaps it is because she uses her platform to highlight women’s rights; perhaps it is simply because she is educated and successful beyond acting; perhaps it is because she seems successfully to have progressed from child star to adult actress. Or perhaps I am easily pleased (who cares, really?) – I find her quietly impressive here; she holds her own amidst some exemplary performances.

Is this a perfect film? Not really - it could have benefitted from losing 10 minutes of run-time, and it needn’t have taken quite so long to get going. Also, the final twist could have been given more gravitas. But ‘Regression’ is a very solid, expertly produced mystery and I enjoyed it.

The tale of Ebenezer Scrooge is my favourite of all Charles Dickens’ works, and I think, my favourite Christmas story too. I rate this as the best filmed adaption of the book. No punches are pulled in the horror of it all – squalor, sickness, biting snow, poverty, even the rampant toy display longingly stared at by Tiny Tim (Glyn Dearman) in the shop window is a sinister sight: there’s little comfort in the chuckling mannequins and clown-faced dolls.

One of the issues I have with some adaptions is the saccharin attributes poured on the various versions of Tiny Tim. It isn’t enough he is a cheerful lame boy destined to die - for some producers, his sweetness has to be laid on with a trowel. Not so much here, gladly. It is entirely possible to sympathise with his plight without feeling nauseous, although some of the Cratchett family’s delight in simple pleasures threaten to overload the sugar coating at times.

A second issue I have concerns Scrooge himself. This adaption is also slightly guilty of this: Scrooge’s miserable meanness is given scant attention. He sees off a couple of charity workers and a debtor and that’s about it. I wish we had been given more of his latter-day nastiness – as it is, we’re soon given Michael Hordern’s exceptionally creepy Ghost Of Marley and Scrooge’s repentance begins. His self-doubt and burgeoning goodness would mean so much more if he’d been shown to be a cruel, miserly old man for longer.

But what do I know? Alistair Sim is exemplary in the role, adding touches of humour to Ebenezer, even at his meanest – and perhaps if he had been too cruel, we’d find it harder to forgive him. Sim’s is the definitive Scrooge. His words of admonishment to Bob Cratchett for wanting ‘the whole day off’ on Christmas Day are pertinent even in 2018, and what a disgrace that is. Employees often aren’t given the choice about working on December 25th, for fear of lessening the yearly company profit, and that shows no sign of changing. At least Scrooge has the decency to be miserable about it.

Some good horror veterans adorn this. Michael Hordern, Miles Malleson, Carol Marsh, and ‘Doctor Pretorious’ himself, Ernest Thesiger has a disappointingly brief appearance as Marley’s obsequious Undertaker.

This is a beguiling, atmospheric adaption, with an amazing central performance from Sim and is recommended viewing any, or even every, Christmas.

This Jess Franco tale of demonic nuns and graphic debauchery makes a good stab at portraying period costume and detail. It also boasts another fine performance from Anne Libert (as Kathleen), and an unusual and enjoyable score from Jean-Bernard Raiteux which does a lot to sell the mood of the piece, as does the director’s usual fine eye for locations.

Other than that, this is an often ponderous venture that dashes between sex-scenes and torture. It doesn’t engage much, despite some strong performances (Howard Vernon features sparingly, but is typically strong. Incidentally, I wonder if he always dubs himself for foreign sales of Franco films, because the voice used has an uncanny resemblance to his own timbre). Whereas ‘The Bloody Judge (1970)’, which has similarities with this, had the towering charms of Christopher Lee as a central character with some depth, this has neither. It does have Britt Nichols, who is excellent as Margaret, especially towards the end.

It is enjoyable, just rather dull. Designed possibly to cause a stir similar to Ken Russell’s ‘The Devils (1971)’, this seems content to attempt to shock by mixing Franco’s familiar perversions in religious trappings. This isn’t quite a historical horror movie as, despite its title and premise, delivers nothing much in the way of horror. The gore is somewhat muted, but perhaps this is because I am watching one of several cuts of ‘The Demons’. Running at 79 minutes, this version might have had some of the stuffing taken out of it, although in the latter part of the film, events take on a fittingly demonic turn!

Not Franco’s best then, but certainly worth watching.

I enjoyed this a lot more than I expected to. When the accompanying blurb tells of a family that moves into a house with a frightening past, fears arise of a certain degree of predictability and series of events that have been used time and time again.

In all honesty, ‘Haunt’ doesn’t exactly push the envelope to escape the limitations of the format, but what it does, it does well. The family are fine, intelligent and believable. The story, however, belongs to Evan, the son, and Sam, the girl he finds alone in the woods nearby. Harrison Gilbertson and Liana Liberato are attractive, appealing leads. Their prominence does however ensure other family members appear under-written. The youngest daughter Anita (Ella Harris), for example, shows signs of spectral communication with whatever presence is in the house, but this comes to nothing. Eldest daughter sensible Sarah (Daniella C. Ryan) is largely superfluous.

A crystal radio is used to perform a séance. This might be the most effective part of the story. When static-fuzzed voices and noises begin coming through this vintage machinery, the effects are chilling.

Other than that, ‘Haunt’ is a slow-burning, often character-based story that hots up towards the end, providing an unexpected climax.

This will not be for everyone. Shot entirely on Kodak Super 8mm negative film stock, it is clearly a very low budget venture featuring no big names, no real special effects, and the goriest moment (by far) is when the character Aidan guts and fillets a fish he has caught.

The mention of ‘five friends’ in a production can often mean teens of indiscernible age, horny, stoned; a series of walking clichés: a stupid one, a sexy one, a cool one and so on – and you wouldn’t be given much of a chance to like or care for the fate of these people. With Aidan, Tess, Mel, Dean and Nick, you can forget all that. They are all played very naturalistically (ie: no endless posturing) and as an audience member, I would actually be happy to spend time in their company. This is such a simple, seemingly obvious ‘thing’ to get right in any fiction, it is incredible that the vast majority seem deliberately to get it so wrong. If you like the characters, you care when things happen to them.

The problem for some is that not a lot does happen to them. But that’s fine: not every haunting has to come with cacophony of familiar blank eyed ghost children and spooky voices. What does happen to them, happens very slowly. But that’s okay: not every possession has to occur at such high-octane high speed that the perceived attention-span of the audience has not to be allowed breathing space.

I really enjoyed this. Director/Writer Scott di Lalla uses the elements he has at his disposal to very good effect – a small, talented cast and a photogenic house in an interesting location. ‘I am Zozo’, or it’s other (very common) title ‘Are you There?’ won’t change your life, but for a slow-burning, unspectacular chiller, it is recommended.

This is a revenge/slasher film with a difference. It is a very strange series of events presented in a deceptively straightforward way. Why do a group of well-groomed young men lure young blonde girls into a forest and murder them? It is implied they killed the parents of Veronica (Abigail Breslin, who was 16 when this was made). It is also implied they killed the wife and daughter of William (Wes Bentley), who becomes a surrogate parent to Veronica. How did they get away with these, and other, murders when their activities are so blatant and notorious and they make no effort to disguise themselves? Also, these high-class killers would surely have been nothing more than children when they killed Veronica’s parents.

Why does William take the trouble to manipulate Veronica by training her to be an efficient killer in order to despatch these lads when he could just as well do the deed himself, or simply inform the police? Equally, the pack find nothing suspicious in meeting a young lady so naïve as to agree to a date with four young men she doesn’t know. As the audience, we are either not expected to wonder about such things, or the writers consider such questions unimportant.

The moody atmospherics of the piece distracts from the lack of details and gives a faintly surreal quality to events. The gang take time to get to know Veronica whilst sitting on rackety chairs and sofas in impressively backlit woods.

There are vagaries and elements that could have been explained more, and the pacing could have been more involving. But I don’t see these things as lapses or plot-holes, rather-more deliberate artistic decisions that stop the film from ever getting all ‘cosy’ or familiar in its telling. A choice has also been made to ensure this is gore-free, despite the expectations a film with this premise attracts. It is almost as if the production distances itself from the story being told. The results are pleasingly odd.