Rent Ask Dr. Ruth (2019)

Ask Dr. Ruth review by Mark McPherson - Cinema Paradiso

Doctor Ruth was always one of those figures that altered my perceptions of age. An idea had been implanted since knowing my grandparents that with being elderly came a curtain crusty dignity, where societal aspects less sophisticated were to be labeled a taboo. To hear an old woman speak about sex so openly and with much exuberance was a surprise. For the longest time, that was how I and much of the public knew her; the cheerful short lady with great education when it came to sex, willing to be open and talk about any matter on the subject. What I didn’t realize was how far such a woman had come in her life to lead a much lighter twilight of her life.

Ask Dr. Ruth is a documentary that opens up fully on the doctor in question the same way she was willing to divulge in matters of sex. Now 90 years old as of this writing, she looks back on her life which was rocky to say the least. We hear her tale of surviving the holocaust when her father was taken away from her by the Nazis. Even worse, her mother also died during this time, though a more accurate description would be that she vanished for reasons that still remain a mystery.

When she later moved around Europe, she started learning all about sex. By 17, she had unprotected sex and learned greatly from such an experience that she wasn’t proud of. Even more intriguing, she would later be trained as a sniper for the Haganah in Jerusalem. Though she admits to having never killed anybody, she still speaks of her training and how she could throw grenades. Soon after being wounded in combat, she would study psychology in France and, well, the rest is a history of getting deeply involved in a sexual revolution.

Ruth was a particularly important voice in the discussion of sex, especially during the 1980s when lack of information was proving to be a very terrifying experience amid the AIDS epidemic. Her voice on numerous radio programs and late-night talk shows proved to be inspiring and unique. She was an older woman, astute in the study of sex, and thus spoke with an air of wisdom that comes with age. It’s much easier for society to respect their elders and there weren’t too many of her age being most vocal on sex, choosing to let such discussions remain locked in the secrecy of the bedroom. Ruth is certainly not the first voice to be more open but hers is surely the most iconic. Honestly, can you think of any other guest or contributor who was ever this notable for the topic of sex?

Seeing her various appearances over the years in this film was quite the trip back. It’s astounding to watch the older woman hold her own against hosts much younger than her, speaking with such knowledge on the topic while others go red in the face and stumble over their words. How do you approach a woman like your grandmother talking about aspects of sexual relations you’ve never had to this degree? She catches you off guard but, perhaps, also makes us think a little more critically on such a subject we usually find tough to talk about.

When I was younger, I remember picking up a magazine with the cover touting a list of the 50 sexiest people in media. Somewhere in that list was Doctor Ruth and I remember scoffing at such a publication. Now older, I must admit I see the appeal. There’s something so sexy about someone who is comfortable speaking about sexuality to such a degree. We can only hope we’ll be that open in our older age, making this woman such an inspiration for more than merely speaking about sexual positions and genitals in the media. There was no shortage of those in the era of Howard Stern, only they were aiming to shock. Ruth was aiming to educate. Okay, maybe shock a little as well. May as well have some fun with your profession.