Rent The Phoenician Scheme (2025)

Wes Anderson–Now Available in Beige - The Phoenician Scheme review by griggs

The Phoenician Scheme is Wes Anderson in soft focus—a film so buttoned-up it forgets to breathe. The dollhouse compositions, whimsical deadpan, and gallery of gentle eccentrics are all present. Still, it’s like someone swapped out the espresso for herbal tea. The colour palette is washed out, the pace dawdles and Benicio Del Toro keeps repeating that he feels “very safe.” He’s not wrong. Anderson plays it safe, too—no real jeopardy, sharp edges, just a muted stroll through melancholy miniatures.

Michael Cera, who usually triggers a full-body cringe, somehow sneaks past my defences, delivering a low-key performance that works in this oddly sedate world. But Mia Threapleton quietly lifts the whole thing, slipping out with the film’s emotional core tucked in her coat pocket. She’s the pulse in a movie that often feels like it’s under sedation.

The narrative is more straightforward than Anderson’s recent jigsaw puzzles, but strangely, it still lands with a thud. There’s an episodic drift that never quite connects to something meaningful. By the time the credits roll, you’re unsure what was at stake—or if it mattered. What might’ve been wry or charming comes across as wistful, almost mournful. It’s Anderson with all the props and none of the pep.