The Penalty King is a surreal black comedy which tells the tale of the world's most unfortunate man, Lee Vaughan (Nick Bartlett). Not only is he blind, he's depressed. And to make things worse, he's a Leeds United fan. Poor guy. Lee gets through his day working in the bowels of the social services by dreaming of 'a damn good kick about', a dream that is kicked repeatedly out of his mind by his domineering boss, Sandra (Clare Grogan). But when life is this monotonous, something has to give. That's where Lee's colleague Charlie Howard (Patrick Micallef) comes in. Another poor, misguided fool; so you have to forgive his relentless optimism. Determined to get Lee back in the game and undermine Sandra at the same time, Charlie hatches a plan to get Lee playing for the local pub football team. Lee might be blind and thoroughly hated by his teammates, but he's determined to become the Penalty King. And thus commences a tale of talking toys, phoney government grants, a psychotic disabled stalker, attempted dog murder, an offensive postman, a Shakespearean captain, biblical dreams, a love triangle or two, vomit, punk rock, swearing and football.