Film Reviews by Schrödinger's Cake

Welcome to Schrödinger's Cake film reviews page. Schrödinger's Cake has written 54 reviews and rated 613 films.

Ok, but not the high-point of the series.

I enjoyed the previous films, so hoped for more of the same with this one. However, whilst it started out really well, it went downhill in the second half, and quickly began to feel silly and unbelievable. Ok, but not the high-point of the series.

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Navy Seals vs. Zombies Online DVD Rental

There are no redeeming qualities here!

This was a truly awful film that I switched off after about 15 minutes. Drama-club quality acting, terrible script and direction, and hopeless special effects. There are no redeeming qualities here!

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As the credits came up at the end, I was left wondering whether there was a point to the film at all

The first Sicario film was an ok example of the action genre, mostly as Emily Blunt made it interesting to watch. This follow-up feels like a pile of cutting-room snippets, knitted together into a film. And due to this, it frankly seems to be missing any kind of joined-up narrative to hold it all together.

As the credits came up at the end, I was left wondering whether there was a point to the film at all, other than as just another cynical cash-in, as so many middle-trilogy films seem to be …

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A close miss, but a miss none-the-less.

I loved the script, acting and the camera work on this film. At times it is so intimate that it feels almost as if you are intruding. But that said, I think it gets the overall pace a bit wrong, which undoes some of the good work. In fact, when I checked, I was amazed that it fits the standard two-hour film model, as it actually felt more like three to watch.

Whilst I’m happy watching meticulous, detailed films, this one just felt slow. A close miss, but a miss none-the-less.

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There are plenty of better ways to spend your time than watch this film.

In the same way that being able to write and being an author are different things, having access to talented artists and state-of-the-art CGI doesn’t make you a producer/director. This is sadly yet another project that ends up feeling like a cut-scene from a console game that has been spun out into a 2hr film.

What story there is, is hackneyed and thin. And the cast alternate between drama-club overacting and barely being present on screen.

There are plenty of better ways to spend your time than watch this film.

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I really enjoyed this film, and can’t wait for them to make the inevitable follow-up.

I loved the original Manga work as a kid, so as ever with a film version I half expected it to be ruined in the translation. Of course, a bunch of the original story aspects are reorganised and renamed to make it work in the film-format, but the general feel is still on point.

The filming and CGI is great, and as expected from the production team, the story plays out at a brisk pace, that’s fun without being difficult to follow.

I really enjoyed this film, and can’t wait for them to make the inevitable follow-up.

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I’d hoped for Saving Private Ryan, but got a playground brawl

I really wanted to like this series, and watched the first two episodes through, before I decided it wasn’t for me after all.

The filming and CGI is good for a TV series, but the story just feels dragged out and loaded up with filler to kill time. What’s worse is that little is explained, and there are far too many characters, who quickly blend into a mess of olive-drab.

I’d hoped for Saving Private Ryan, but got a playground brawl.

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Not a great film.

I’m not averse to abandoning a film midway through when it starts to get ridiculous, and sadly this one fell into the bail-out bucket at around 30min or so.

Mark Wahlberg has been enjoyable to watch in a bunch of films, but this time around it’s as if someone said to him, “Have you seen Lethal Weapon? Yeah? Do that shout- a-lot-crazy-shit thing.” Which works for a couple of scenes, and then just gets dull. To the point where it felt like a parody.

Not only that, the super-elite tactical team ditch all their SOPs and make loads of ridiculous errors of judgement etc which just left me feeling it was pretty unbelievable, frustrated and disengaged.

Not a great film.

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SAS: Black Ops Online DVD Rental

a truly awful film

I don’t say it often but this is a truly awful film, which I abandoned after only 15 minutes. It feels like something the local amdram put together one lunchtime and was filmed by a 15-year-old on their iPhone. You would get more out of watching grass grow for two hours.

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a good example of the action-thriller genre

When I saw that they had released a sequel to the Equalizer, I did at first suspect it would be the usual bag of barrel-scraping spanners. However, much like the first Equalizer, it is actually much better than you might be led to expect based on the premise.

The film production quality is still high, and the actions scenes are choregraphed beautifully. Though it does though feel much more recipe-driven than the first, and the plot is very predictable.

That’s not to say that it isn’t enjoyable. It’s definitely a good example of the action-thriller genre. And if that’s your thing, you should definitely give it a try…

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A ghost of its former self...

Whilst the director has done a brilliant job of transferring the visual feel of GitS from Anime to live action, the same can’t be said for the script. Gone is the beautifully poignant commentary on what it is to be human, and instead it is replaced with stock Hollywood plot #4: underdog seeks righteous revenge upon evil corporate. Yawn.

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Garm Wars: The Last Druid Online DVD Rental

Feels like a cut-scene from an Anime game that has been padded out into a full-length film ...

I’m an old-hand with Anime films, and so quite used to feeling that some key Japanese cultural reference is sailing totally over my head. However, this film is a whole new level of experience, and opens into a confusing sequence of scenes which are knitted together in seemingly random order, and with only minimal backstory or explanation of what is happening. Sadly, it doesn’t improve as the film progresses either.

The story is also completely two dimensional, and full of gaping holes that make no sense. Whilst at the same time it also desperately tries to come across as deep and meaningful. If it was a person, it would be moody emo kid who communicates only in grunts, but yet has a self-image of being culturally-significant: “you just don’t understand me!”

The result is that I was left feeling that I had watched a cut-scene from an Anime game that had been padded out into a full-length film. One to avoid.

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The perfect recipe for annoying someone who loves the crime/action genre ...

This film isn’t a cookie-cutter Hollywood blockbuster. There are long tracts of silence. Entire dialogs of simple glances and stolen smiles. Most of the action is Hitchcockian off-screen butchery. And it starts with a reeeeealy slow opening reveal that leaves you wondering what the hell is going on for the first quarter of the film.

In fact, it’s almost the perfect recipe for annoying someone who loves the crime/action genre. New Oscar category. Take a bow.

However, I enjoyed the departure from the scheduled action-hero timetable, and was happy to kick-back and enjoy the gorgeous camera work that was the backdrop to Joaquin Phoenix’ study of a tortured combat vet. Stoic as his character is, and seemingly only ever a coin-flip away from taking his own life, I quickly felt an odd kind of empathy with the ragged, broken shreds of his life.

Yes, it’s an arty film. And no, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

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Comedy so subtle it fails to make you smile ...

As a rule, I try and avoid trailers but accidentally saw the one for Suburbicon somewhere. From it I got the impression of a great cast delivering subtle, dark-comedy: how could I turn up the chance at that?

The reality though was a mish-mash of comedy moments that mostly were so subtle they passed without recognition, plus cookie-cutter predictable script work. Both of which combined to leave a cast of brilliant actors who seemed to be struggling to pull something cohesive out of the bag and make it all work.

Mostly I spent the film waiting for it to pick up the pace and get started for real, which it never really did.

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