Film Reviews by Schrödinger's Cake

Welcome to Schrödinger's Cake film reviews page. Schrödinger's Cake has written 49 reviews and rated 589 films.

I really enjoyed this film, and can’t wait for them to make the inevitable follow-up.

I loved the original Manga work as a kid, so as ever with a film version I half expected it to be ruined in the translation. Of course, a bunch of the original story aspects are reorganised and renamed to make it work in the film-format, but the general feel is still on point.

The filming and CGI is great, and as expected from the production team, the story plays out at a brisk pace, that’s fun without being difficult to follow.

I really enjoyed this film, and can’t wait for them to make the inevitable follow-up.

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I’d hoped for Saving Private Ryan, but got a playground brawl

I really wanted to like this series, and watched the first two episodes through, before I decided it wasn’t for me after all.

The filming and CGI is good for a TV series, but the story just feels dragged out and loaded up with filler to kill time. What’s worse is that little is explained, and there are far too many characters, who quickly blend into a mess of olive-drab.

I’d hoped for Saving Private Ryan, but got a playground brawl.

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Not a great film.

I’m not averse to abandoning a film midway through when it starts to get ridiculous, and sadly this one fell into the bail-out bucket at around 30min or so.

Mark Wahlberg has been enjoyable to watch in a bunch of films, but this time around it’s as if someone said to him, “Have you seen Lethal Weapon? Yeah? Do that shout- a-lot-crazy-shit thing.” Which works for a couple of scenes, and then just gets dull. To the point where it felt like a parody.

Not only that, the super-elite tactical team ditch all their SOPs and make loads of ridiculous errors of judgement etc which just left me feeling it was pretty unbelievable, frustrated and disengaged.

Not a great film.

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SAS: Black Ops Online DVD Rental

a truly awful film

I don’t say it often but this is a truly awful film, which I abandoned after only 15 minutes. It feels like something the local amdram put together one lunchtime and was filmed by a 15-year-old on their iPhone. You would get more out of watching grass grow for two hours.

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a good example of the action-thriller genre

When I saw that they had released a sequel to the Equalizer, I did at first suspect it would be the usual bag of barrel-scraping spanners. However, much like the first Equalizer, it is actually much better than you might be led to expect based on the premise.

The film production quality is still high, and the actions scenes are choregraphed beautifully. Though it does though feel much more recipe-driven than the first, and the plot is very predictable.

That’s not to say that it isn’t enjoyable. It’s definitely a good example of the action-thriller genre. And if that’s your thing, you should definitely give it a try…

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A ghost of its former self...

Whilst the director has done a brilliant job of transferring the visual feel of GitS from Anime to live action, the same can’t be said for the script. Gone is the beautifully poignant commentary on what it is to be human, and instead it is replaced with stock Hollywood plot #4: underdog seeks righteous revenge upon evil corporate. Yawn.

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Garm Wars: The Last Druid Online DVD Rental

Feels like a cut-scene from an Anime game that has been padded out into a full-length film ...

I’m an old-hand with Anime films, and so quite used to feeling that some key Japanese cultural reference is sailing totally over my head. However, this film is a whole new level of experience, and opens into a confusing sequence of scenes which are knitted together in seemingly random order, and with only minimal backstory or explanation of what is happening. Sadly, it doesn’t improve as the film progresses either.

The story is also completely two dimensional, and full of gaping holes that make no sense. Whilst at the same time it also desperately tries to come across as deep and meaningful. If it was a person, it would be moody emo kid who communicates only in grunts, but yet has a self-image of being culturally-significant: “you just don’t understand me!”

The result is that I was left feeling that I had watched a cut-scene from an Anime game that had been padded out into a full-length film. One to avoid.

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The perfect recipe for annoying someone who loves the crime/action genre ...

This film isn’t a cookie-cutter Hollywood blockbuster. There are long tracts of silence. Entire dialogs of simple glances and stolen smiles. Most of the action is Hitchcockian off-screen butchery. And it starts with a reeeeealy slow opening reveal that leaves you wondering what the hell is going on for the first quarter of the film.

In fact, it’s almost the perfect recipe for annoying someone who loves the crime/action genre. New Oscar category. Take a bow.

However, I enjoyed the departure from the scheduled action-hero timetable, and was happy to kick-back and enjoy the gorgeous camera work that was the backdrop to Joaquin Phoenix’ study of a tortured combat vet. Stoic as his character is, and seemingly only ever a coin-flip away from taking his own life, I quickly felt an odd kind of empathy with the ragged, broken shreds of his life.

Yes, it’s an arty film. And no, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

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Comedy so subtle it fails to make you smile ...

As a rule, I try and avoid trailers but accidentally saw the one for Suburbicon somewhere. From it I got the impression of a great cast delivering subtle, dark-comedy: how could I turn up the chance at that?

The reality though was a mish-mash of comedy moments that mostly were so subtle they passed without recognition, plus cookie-cutter predictable script work. Both of which combined to leave a cast of brilliant actors who seemed to be struggling to pull something cohesive out of the bag and make it all work.

Mostly I spent the film waiting for it to pick up the pace and get started for real, which it never really did.

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Not the greatest war film of all time ...

I have no idea about the historical accuracy of this film, but I do know that I love a good war film when done well. I think this one started out ok: with enough time spent on back-stories to grow a little empathy with the characters. However, it quickly dissolved into the usual mess of stupid heroics, and dragged-out scenes of Rambo-esque ridiculousness.

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Train to Busan Online DVD Rental

Over sold and under delivered...

I’m sad to say that I found myself swayed by the 4-star rating and positive reviews, and added this film to my list. Big mistake.

It opens well, with a deer being run down in a car accident, which then getting promptly stands back up as an evil zombie-deer. Awesome! But that’s pretty much it for the rest of the film. The rest is an oddball, cliched mishmash of ideas that have been recycled from other zombie films, and I also suspect several dodgy Australian soap operas too (cue yet another soppy piano interlude as someone passes away).

If you want a contemporary zombie film I think you’d be better off giving Alone Here or The Battery a try …

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If this was a class of college students, it wouldn't be the popular kid...

A quick glance through the various “best movie ever” lists will show a cluster of films that started out as box office flops, but which grew in time to become cult classics. Funnily enough, numbered amongst these is none other than the original Blade Runner, which is for many cinema fans their favourite film of all time.

If you take a moment to consider the context and content, it’s actually no surprise that the original Blade Runner flatlined at the cinema, and likewise, in a similar fashion so did this one. If this was a class of college students, neither would be the popular kid: they are both simply too raw and unguarded for that.

Personally, I think I was actually a little disappointed with the film, but not because it was awful (in fact quite the opposite); more so because of the weight expectation set by it’s older sibling.

A piece of me is left thinking that it will be interesting to see whether (with time) Blade Runner 2049 evolves to be one of the current generation’s cult classics…

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The Battery Online DVD Rental

Mom, are we there yet?

I originally added The Battery to my watch list due to it being tipped as being “the best zombie movie for years” (tm). How could I resist that?

Once the film got underway though, what I found was an enjoyable low-budget film that wisely avoided splurging their funds on lacklustre special effects, and instead opted for the classic just-out-of-camera-shot approach to cracking skulls and blowing brains out. The main focus of the film however is the interplay between the two main characters, as they fight boredom and stumble from one zombie near-miss to the next.

It’s a bit slow in places, but on the whole it is beautifully shot and acted, and has a few memorable celluloid moments of truly insightful dark comedy. On balance, maybe not the best zombie movie of recent years, but definitely worth watching if you like such things.

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Like the bastard offspring of Pulp Fiction and Lock Stock...

From the moment the opening credits roll, this is a film that you just know is going to deliver the goods. It feels like the bastard offspring of Pulp Fiction and Lock Stock, and comes complete with a superb cast, a dodgy 70’s sound track, gorgeous lighting, and beautiful camera work.

It’s true that somewhere around the middle of the film it does run out of steam a bit, like a boxer who’s failed to pace theirself and are punched-out before the round is done. However, it manages to pull itself together and get back on form quickly enough.

There are plenty of worse ways you could spend your evening!

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