Film Reviews by Schrödinger's Cake

Whilst the director has done a brilliant job of transferring the visual feel of GitS from Anime to live action, the same can’t be said for the script. Gone is the beautifully poignant commentary on what it is to be human, and instead it is replaced with stock Hollywood plot #4: underdog seeks righteous revenge upon evil corporate. Yawn.

I’m an old-hand with Anime films, and so quite used to feeling that some key Japanese cultural reference is sailing totally over my head. However, this film is a whole new level of experience, and opens into a confusing sequence of scenes which are knitted together in seemingly random order, and with only minimal backstory or explanation of what is happening. Sadly, it doesn’t improve as the film progresses either.

The story is also completely two dimensional, and full of gaping holes that make no sense. Whilst at the same time it also desperately tries to come across as deep and meaningful. If it was a person, it would be moody emo kid who communicates only in grunts, but yet has a self-image of being culturally-significant: “you just don’t understand me!”

The result is that I was left feeling that I had watched a cut-scene from an Anime game that had been padded out into a full-length film. One to avoid.

This film isn’t a cookie-cutter Hollywood blockbuster. There are long tracts of silence. Entire dialogs of simple glances and stolen smiles. Most of the action is Hitchcockian off-screen butchery. And it starts with a reeeeealy slow opening reveal that leaves you wondering what the hell is going on for the first quarter of the film.

In fact, it’s almost the perfect recipe for annoying someone who loves the crime/action genre. New Oscar category. Take a bow.

However, I enjoyed the departure from the scheduled action-hero timetable, and was happy to kick-back and enjoy the gorgeous camera work that was the backdrop to Joaquin Phoenix’ study of a tortured combat vet. Stoic as his character is, and seemingly only ever a coin-flip away from taking his own life, I quickly felt an odd kind of empathy with the ragged, broken shreds of his life.

Yes, it’s an arty film. And no, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

As a rule, I try and avoid trailers but accidentally saw the one for Suburbicon somewhere. From it I got the impression of a great cast delivering subtle, dark-comedy: how could I turn up the chance at that?

The reality though was a mish-mash of comedy moments that mostly were so subtle they passed without recognition, plus cookie-cutter predictable script work. Both of which combined to leave a cast of brilliant actors who seemed to be struggling to pull something cohesive out of the bag and make it all work.

Mostly I spent the film waiting for it to pick up the pace and get started for real, which it never really did.

I enjoyed the original anime version of Blade of the Immortal, so thought I’d give the live action a look.

It mostly feels like a breakneck tour of a museum of anime in which hundreds of exhibits of iconic imagery are lined up in order: cute girl with sword; scarred ronin; dorky but cruel protagonist; and spikey haired protagonist with ski mask etc.

I wanted to like it, but it was far too predictable and hackneyed to be enjoyable …

I have no idea about the historical accuracy of this film, but I do know that I love a good war film when done well. I think this one started out ok: with enough time spent on back-stories to grow a little empathy with the characters. However, it quickly dissolved into the usual mess of stupid heroics, and dragged-out scenes of Rambo-esque ridiculousness.

I’m sad to say that I found myself swayed by the 4-star rating and positive reviews, and added this film to my list. Big mistake.

It opens well, with a deer being run down in a car accident, which then getting promptly stands back up as an evil zombie-deer. Awesome! But that’s pretty much it for the rest of the film. The rest is an oddball, cliched mishmash of ideas that have been recycled from other zombie films, and I also suspect several dodgy Australian soap operas too (cue yet another soppy piano interlude as someone passes away).

If you want a contemporary zombie film I think you’d be better off giving Alone Here or The Battery a try …

I originally added The Battery to my watch list due to it being tipped as being “the best zombie movie for years” (tm). How could I resist that?

Once the film got underway though, what I found was an enjoyable low-budget film that wisely avoided splurging their funds on lacklustre special effects, and instead opted for the classic just-out-of-camera-shot approach to cracking skulls and blowing brains out. The main focus of the film however is the interplay between the two main characters, as they fight boredom and stumble from one zombie near-miss to the next.

It’s a bit slow in places, but on the whole it is beautifully shot and acted, and has a few memorable celluloid moments of truly insightful dark comedy. On balance, maybe not the best zombie movie of recent years, but definitely worth watching if you like such things.

A quick glance through the various “best movie ever” lists will show a cluster of films that started out as box office flops, but which grew in time to become cult classics. Funnily enough, numbered amongst these is none other than the original Blade Runner, which is for many cinema fans their favourite film of all time.

If you take a moment to consider the context and content, it’s actually no surprise that the original Blade Runner flatlined at the cinema, and likewise, in a similar fashion so did this one. If this was a class of college students, neither would be the popular kid: they are both simply too raw and unguarded for that.

Personally, I think I was actually a little disappointed with the film, but not because it was awful (in fact quite the opposite); more so because of the weight expectation set by it’s older sibling.

A piece of me is left thinking that it will be interesting to see whether (with time) Blade Runner 2049 evolves to be one of the current generation’s cult classics…

From the moment the opening credits roll, this is a film that you just know is going to deliver the goods. It feels like the bastard offspring of Pulp Fiction and Lock Stock, and comes complete with a superb cast, a dodgy 70’s sound track, gorgeous lighting, and beautiful camera work.

It’s true that somewhere around the middle of the film it does run out of steam a bit, like a boxer who’s failed to pace theirself and are punched-out before the round is done. However, it manages to pull itself together and get back on form quickly enough.

There are plenty of worse ways you could spend your evening!

It is a rarity that I would watch a smooshy, sentimental film out of choice. More usually it is because someone else would like to see it, and I have been roped in as an unruly wingman (for which I have my daughter to thank on this occasion).

Having started with very low expectations and absolutely no idea about the plot, I was in fact pleasantly surprised though. I laughed out loud, shed a tear more than a few times, and came to the credits having thoroughly enjoyed the journey.

A fine example of the genre.

Silence isn’t the first long film I’ve sat through in the cinema, but it is the first where it actually felt like a long time and made me feel rather glad that I had spent the extra money on comfy seats.

The filming and direction are indeed beautiful. However, the rest of the film just feels like it never really gets it together. It is very obviously trying hard to be profound, and to supply a deep insight into the events. However, to me it just misses the mark and ends up feeling disappointing. Fort example, the film builds (tenuously slowly) toward a final reveal which left me thinking “seriously, is that it?”

Ordered Lao Tzu, received a fortune-cookie…

It’s not hard to see why David Fincher’s films aren’t universally loved. For a start, he has a habit of picking challenging stories that feature troubled, unlikeable characters. But beyond that, the plot and dialog are often extreme, and set in situations that are far removed from the reality that we know. So, the fact that many people fail to associate with them should not be a surprise.

True to form, like many of the other films David Fincher has made, Gone Girl follows a difficult path, through: frustrating, unlovable characters; layered reveals; and disjointed, out-of-sequence scenes.

If you were looking for something stamped out of the Hollywood cookie-cutter involving men in vests rescuing two-dimensional heroines, then this isn’t your film. However, if you enjoyed Fight Club and Se7en, and wanted more of the same, then you’ve come to the right place.

I’ve watched Unforgiven a few times over the years, and it it’s still a brilliant piece of cinema. The plot and dialog work well, the lead actors are all excellent, and the filming, direction and editing all flawless.

For me, it is the best western ever made.

The first Independence Day was not a great film, but if you could get past the chest puffing, patriotic waffle, it did have a few redeeming qualities: such as a subtly dark sense of humour, and some likeable, quirky characters.

The follow-up has none of this: it’s simply two hours of patriotic waffle and a cast who are either out to pasture and coasting through their lines, or straight out of a boy/girl band, and much more interested in pouting and strutting than doing any kind of acting stuff.

There are damp walls of emulsion more deserving of your time…