Rent Terror Train (1980)

All Aboard the Meh Express - Terror Train review by griggs

A slasher on a train is already doing half the work for you, and Terror Train knows it. Set on New Year’s Eve, it turns the journey into a locked-in party: narrow corridors, nowhere to step outside, and costumes that make every face an alibi. The staging is better than you’d expect, and the film usually keeps the geography clear — who’s trapped where, and who’s about to be.

The script, though, runs on daft choices and patchy acting, with stretches of dead air between the better bits. The kills are a mixed bag too: a couple have a nasty snap, others barely register.

The mystery is cheekier than it looks: you might guess the culprit early, yet the reveal still wrong-foots you. Jamie Lee Curtis is the MVP, giving the film more heft than it’s earned. The magic angle will either charm you or, like me, make you side-eye David Copperfield’s showroom-creep vibe. Overall it’s better made than some of its peers, but nowhere near derailment-proof.