Rent L'Humanité (1999)

Whilst at times weirdly watchable, it is unbelievably dull & completely unrealistic - L'Humanité review by Timmy B

When it comes to pretentious films, the French are in a league of their own. Many of these types of movies, which are showered with awards & critical praise, are in fact naval-gazing, meandering rubbish which the ordinary filmgoer will either dismiss or turn off/walk out of the cinema. However, as detailed in the notes on the DVD, when L'Humanité swept the 3 main prizes at the Cannes film festival (Best film, actor & actress,) it wasn't your ordinary film watcher who booed and jeered, it was the majority of the attendees at the ceremony, who have in previous years fallen over themselves to praise utter garbage. That alone speaks volumes...

Pharaon de Winter is a police superintendent who is investigating the brutal murder & sexual assault of an 11 year old girl in a sleepy French town. The film also looks at his association with Domino & Joseph, his neighbours who he hangs around with when not working.

In my life, I have watched many films which have had as part of their storyline some element of police procedure (either following the detective or observing the case being solved.) So I have seen a lot of different portrayals/performances of the police, some flawless & seismic, others atrocious or totally unbelievable. But I have never seen a police detective as unrealistic or staggeringly implausible as Pharaon de Winter.

In the summary of the film, de Winter is described as "An introverted, almost child-like innocent." Whilst this is true in the basic sense, it comes nowhere close in describing exactly how stupefyingly nonsensical this character is. A police superintendent will have had a long career in law enforcement, normally starting out patrolling & arresting criminals, working their way up the ranks. De Winter is so pathetic, wet & limp, he couldn't arrest a toddler... He actively shies away from & looks uncomfortable when in the presence of minor arguments... And his behaviour & mannerisms are so strange, you wonder how he even functions as an adult, let alone solves crimes...

The film also has a weird obsession with extremely uncomfortable sex. De Winter's 2 "friends" are a couple of idiosyncratic oddballs who also happen to be exhibitionist nymphomaniacs. Early on in the film, they go at each other like rabbits whilst De Winter stands watching them awkwardly, having walked in through the open front door. Later on, Domino offers herself to De Winter by performing one of the most explicit acts imaginable in front of him. De Winter, who has for the entire film been eyeing her up in the most voyeuristic way possible, instead looks confused & then walks out. Oh, and this film is also obsessed with showing vulvas & female genitalia close up, which simply adds to the pretension & desperation to be controversial...

For the first 90 minutes or so this film is, in a strange way, weirdly watchable. Whilst you never buy into the story & it is quite dull, there is a compulsion to see where it goes. However, after a while, the novelty wears off and I ended up fast-forwarding through parts of it, just to get past the long monotonous scenes of De Winter staring blankly whilst things happen around him.

But, once the ending arrived (which makes absolutely no sense & again I felt was just the director being esoteric & provocative,) I only had 1 question on my mind: how the hell did this win the main prizes at Cannes? The actors (who are both non-professionals) cannot act. The writer/director can do neither, unless he is angling for a career in poorly photographed pornography. And how this film ever got financed or made money is beyond my comprehension.

Whilst there was some haunting imagery & a valid point to be made in how investigating horrific crimes leaves indelible marks on your soul, this nearly 2 & a half hour film mainly succeeds in boring you senseless, with the occasional image of a pudenda to snap your focus back momentarily...