Look, this is nonsense, and it knows it. It's a late-'90s teen movie that turned up in 2000 still dressed for 1999, all spirit fingers, bubblegum pop and a firm belief that high school ends at nationals.
Kirsten Dunst is the main reason it works at all. She plays Torrance with a frantic, slightly sweaty sincerity, and I bought every panicked smile. Gabrielle Union gives Isis real presence, though the script forgets to give her an inner life, which is a shame, because she's the most interesting person on the mat. Eliza Dushku adds a welcome shot of deadpan, even if she's mostly there to roll her eyes.
Peyton Reed shoots the routines like music videos, cutting on every beat. The bits in between look lit for a school prospectus, as if the camera is killing time until the next pyramid.
The trouble is how little lingers. I was humming the chants by bedtime and had forgotten the feelings by breakfast.