Rent Charlie's Angels (2019)

Terribly disappointing... - Charlie's Angels review by BG

Full disclosure: - I really like the Diaz, Lui & Barrymore 'Charlie's Angels' movies. I know that might not be a popular opinion, & that not all moviegoers 'got' their tone (extremely comical, fantasy action, played for laughs & spectacle) but they were a heck of a lot of fun. I mention this because they're 'canon' in this film; costumes & other elements are shown & acknowledged.

One other thing: I prefer films with strong female leads. 'The Long Kiss Goodnight', 'Aliens', 'Salt', pretty much anything with Milla Jovovich, they all rank right near the top of my go-to viewing list.

I mention these seemingly irrelevant factors because it's important to emphasise this is a review by someone who loves this kind of movie, & that it's not simply a whiny man-baby complaint when I reluctantly say that this is a horrendous disappointment.

On the plus side: Kristen Stewart is enormous fun - bursting with charisma & star power as oddball 'Sabina'. There's a fantastically directed party sequence where the film seems to gain genuine atmosphere & briefly becomes enormous fun (& charismatically directed) for a few minutes.

Sadly, the bad hugely outweighs the good. The Diaz & co films were written with biting wit & satire; the women had killer lines, were comically expert in almost everything imaginable, & the gags were knowing and irreverent. The Angels had quirks. They were super-capable but interesting - the kind of people you can imagine anyone wanting to get to know, & the films made their points about sexism & toxic male behaviour by having the men skewered by their own aggression/egos/bad behaviour, as much as beaten by the leads.

In contrast, this film spends pretty much the first 10-15 minutes relentlessly emphasising what utter utter scumbags men are in general, with almost no nuance or flair of writing. It's so heavy handed that it could have been written with sledgehammers tied to both hands. It's followed by an opening that's supposed to be inspiring but comes off as trite & manipulative, before launching into a script that’s so muddled & unexciting that it can't decide on a tone. The closest comparison is Val Kilmer's 'The Saint' - so dire that it nearly sank the careers of both Kilmer and director Philip Noyce.

We get a whistleblower who - to demonstrate her strength and resilience - spends most of the film screaming/looking panicked. We get an ex-MI6 agent who is so 'stagey' & super-British that it's cringeworthy.

This is a film that plays giving people fatal strokes as a bit of a 'caper-movie' style chuckle. Seriously.

Chase scenes are uninspired & veer between semi-realism & bizarre absurdity. One key moment even robs a distinctive stunt lock stock & barrel from 'Mission: Impossible 3'.

Frustratingly, the film can't even decide on a message about empowering its' women: the agent controllers of the Townsend Agency are almost all shown to be men (yes, I get that it's traditional, but come on guys???) & we get a male guru character who's supposed to serve & empower the girls, but makes a point of telling the witness her breath stinks...

We finally arrive at a climax that veers between fun (the initial party scenes) & stupidity that stretches credulity so far that it breaks hard enough to sting.

Disappointingly, some amusing scenes played over the end credits seemed like they would have made for a much more enjoyable and even-toned middle-section of the movie than the slow crawl across Hamburg and Berlin that we got.

There are very few films that I will throw under the bus with a bad review; especially ones that had so much promise and whose cast and message were so needed at a time like this...but this is genuinely a dumpster fire of a movie. It's not completely unwatchable, but it's a painfully ruined opportunity and is pretty certain to end Elizabeth Banks' career as a Screenwriter (although hopefully not her acting or directing prospects).

Not recommended.

Abysmal and distasteful - Charlie's Angels review by Alphaville

Abysmal teen fodder featuring a bunch of over-sexualised young women caked in make-up and designer fashion outfits (as in the signature Ariane Grande video on the DVD Extras). The clichéd plot lurches from atrocious attempts at humour to generic over-edited action scenes. Woke-friendly diverse skin tones? Tick (see DVD Extras). Female empowerment has never been so negatively portrayed. Hard to believe it was produced, written and directed by a woman, who also gives herself a role. Elizabeth Banks, you should be ashamed of yourself.

What on earth? - Charlie's Angels review by CP Customer

This film lack everything. No energy. No chemistry. The forced humour. If ever there was a case of doing a film for all the wrong reasons, this is it. I really liked the reboot of the Diaz, Liu and Barrymore era but this was just awful. I was waiting for it to get better but they never happened. 

Dull - Charlie's Angels review by GI

A dull reboot of the 70s TV series and I see no reason at all why it was decided to revamp this tired old franchise. Basically a spoof action/caper movie this is tedious and unfunny which is a little surprising considering director Elizabeth Banks is usually in touch with what's funny. But this is a let down, the fight scenes are unimpressive, the story hackneyed and it's hardly worth your time. Kristen Stewart gets top billing and she's an actor that I always think has something special hidden away but never picks the right roles. In any case here we have a very brainy electronics engineer, Elena (Naomi Scott) who has concerns over her new invention that could change the way humans use electricity. She finds herself hunted and gets help from the mysterious Agency of women super spies led by Bosley (Elizabeth Banks). Cue chases, fights, wisecracks etc etc none of which is particularly exciting or original. Sam Claflin, Djimon Hounsou and Patrick Stewart offer support but fail to lift this mediocre film.

Give this fun film a go - Charlie's Angels review by SM

I had this film in my list for ages as I loved the first two films but was put off by the poor box office and mixed reviews. It was much better than I expected. I had a really good time watching this and it’s a shame that there won’t be sequels. There was great chemistry with the leads, smart & funny lines throughout and the fighting is much more based in reality than the gravity defying moves of the first two films. I thought Elizabeth Banks did a great job with this film. It’s a Friday film that isn’t taking but is definitely a hoot. Give it a go. 

Glossy high action fun - Charlie's Angels review by HH

Not sure if all the reviews so far were written by men, but as a woman watching this I can’t understand the negativity about it being feminist.

Action films made by women for women are quite rare, and so will appear quite radical to an audience used to male centred movies.

This film is stylish, funny and uplifting. It’s not an intellectual movie in any way, but great for a fun entertaining thrill ride.